Hearing the words 'I love you' as a child from your parent/parents.

[LadyEmeraude]

There are so many ways for a parent to express their love, some with words, some with actions, other
times both.

Although I was loved by my parents and it was shown in many ways that meant so much to me: the
one thing I wanted to verbally here were the actual words "I love you". It seemed difficult for them.

How do you feel about expressing love to children, do you see the actual words as important, as I
do.. or do you think it matters not?

 

[Shalimar]

There are so many ways for a parent to express their love, some with words, some with actions, other
times both.

Although I was loved by my parents and it was shown in many ways that meant so much to me: the
one thing I wanted to verbally here were the actual words "I love you". It seemed difficult for them.

How do you feel about expressing love to children, do you see the actual words as important, as I
do.. or do you think it matters not?

I think it is very important. Words have enormous power, particularly when dealing with children. The need for acceptance, to truly belong, is huge.

 

[Alligatorob]

My parents never said it, but they certainly treated me as loved. Not sure I missed the words, actions were more important.

 

[PamfromTx]

My parents never showered us with "I love yous" or hugs or any type of affection. I learned on my own to always be a loving person. I always display love towards my family with plenty of hugs as well.

I love hearing Lily (age 3) and Lucy Jo (age 4) telling me they love me. My sister told me that when their phone rings... they yell out, "It's Pam!" lol

 

[mrstime]

My Father claimed he loved me........but didn't act it.
My grandparents never said it,......... but I knew they loved me because they showed it in many ways.

 

[Murrmurr]

It was baby-talk, and it was adult-talk. You didn't hear it during the years in between unless you needed to hear "I love you, but..."

While it was baby-talk, it sounded like "I wuv you." When it was adult-talk, it was whispered, and if us kids over-heard it, we giggled...quietly.

I said I love you to my little foster son, Paxton. But his mother did, too, after he was given back to her. She also physically and verbally abused him.

So I'm pretty sure Paxton's confused about love, and I wish I'd followed my parents example and stopped saying it while he was still a baby.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I grew up in a very affectionate family including my grandparents. No one said I love you but I knew it from their physical behavior. I told my kids I loved them in addition to being affectionate. Even though they are adults they end phone calls with I love you mom.

 

[Tish]

My Late husband and I always told out children that we loved them.
I still tell them that.

 

[Gary O']

No hugs or verbal stuff from the folks
They were too busy working their asses off

We all knew they loved us
Didn't have to say it

Still, I noticed other kinfolk say it

Seemed pretty cool

Heh, not long before my mom's passing, I got square in her face,
eye to eye,
told her I loved her

She didn't know how to act!
Shrugged it off, like I'd just told her some absurd thing

I think the lack of saying it was garnered from an era
Maybe
Just a thought

 

[Wren]

I don’t think ‘I love you’ was a sentiment much expressed by parents at that time, I certainly never heard it, but actions speak louder than words, we never went without anything and had a goodnight kiss from our mother each evening

I’ve always had a loving relationship with my daughter, she started giving me three goodnight kisses when she was tiny, each punctuated with the words “I x Love x You x” and still greets me with three little kisses when we meet

 

[LadyEmeraude]

I like coming online here later at night my way and reading all the posts on this thread.
So much appreciate what each of you shared on the topic and how you feel~

 

[Wren]

I’ve not been around much lately LadyEmeraude but usually have a quick scan thought ‘What’s New’. and appreciate your contributions, you are a breathe of fresh air, thank you !

 

[LadyEmeraude]

I’ve not been around much lately LadyEmeraude but usually have a quick scan thought ‘What’s New’. and appreciate your contributions, you are a breathe of fresh air, thank you !

Wren that is a very kind thing for you to say, 'thank you'

 

[Bretrick]

My parents never, ever said those words.
It seems as though I was raised by perfunctory parents.
They had a job/chore to do. They done that. Housed, fed, clothed and educated 5 children

 

[Been There]

I lost my parents was I was 9 years old. I still remember my mom and dad telling me "i love you" at least as I was going to bed. Dad wasn't a big lovey dovey guy to me. Before I would go to bed, he would say, "Love you. See you in the morning." Even if he was away on business, he would tell mom to put me on the phone and then he would say it.

 

[Been There]

No hugs or verbal stuff from the folks
They were too busy working their asses off

We all knew they loved us
Didn't have to say it

Still, I noticed other kinfolk say it

Seemed pretty cool

Heh, not long before my mom's passing, I got square in her face,
eye to eye,
told her I loved her

She didn't know how to act!
Shrugged it off, like I'd just told her some absurd thing

I think the lack of saying it was garnered from an era
Maybe
Just a thought

I think you’re right. I can’t remember too many (or any) of my friends telling their parents they loved them when we would be going away together. Or, vice versa.

 

[Sassycakes]

Both of my parents said, "I Love you". My Dad said it the most though. I remember one day in particular. I was 20yrs old and living with my parents while my husband was in the Navy, My Dad came home from work and I was laying on the sofa. He asked me if I was ok. I said I was resting because I had a headache. He said, "I don't believe I was singing at work and you didn't feel well." Then he kissed my forehead and said, "I love you". After all these years I remember it like it was just yesterday.

 

[HoneyNut]

The words weren't used in my family, it was just assumed that we all loved each other. The 'I love you' words were for boyfriend/girlfriend use.
My daughter though, she not only expects the words but demands them if I leave them out. I feel downright silly saying them, but she had a rough life and if she needs to hear them at the end of every single phone call, I just will tough it out.

 

[chic]

Everyone in my family was very loving and huggy. Except for mom who didn't tell me she loved me until I was 11 years old and hurt from an accident. It may have been insincere.

 

[charry]

we ve never used " I love you" in our family
ive only just started saying that i love my mum recently ,
and all she says back is "You Too"

mum always showed she cared ....i was her baby, fifth child ..so i got spoilt...
thats why there has always been jealousy between the siblings
I Was The SPOILT BRAT ...LOL

my sons wife , says it all the time to everyone ,
i dont think that is needed. talking to the neighbour she hardly knows

 

[charry]

My parents never, ever said those words.
It seems as though I was raised by perfunctory parents.
They had a job/chore to do. They done that. Housed, fed, clothed and educated 5 children

sounds like my family bretrick

 

[rgp]

My mom , said it on occasion, showed it on occasion.

My dad , never said it, rarely showed it .

 

[Georgiagranny]

The first time I heard those words from my mother, she was on her death bed. Literally. In hospital. Dying. I was 50 years old.

My father never said it but often showed it.

 

[rgp]

The first time I heard those words from my mother, she was on her death bed. Literally. In hospital. Dying. I was 50 years old.

My father never said it but often showed it.

Odd that you say that ..... I went to Fla due to my dad going in for open heart surgery [4-way b/p]. I told him I loved him as I took his hand ....... His reply was yeah-yeah, as he wiggled his hand out of mine.

@ the time I was just shy of 50 myself.

I was [pissed-off] ? I came very close to going out, getting in my vehicle and heading home to Ohio. But I didn't , I stayed four days , until he was 'out of the woods' so to speak.

 

[grahamg]

There are so many ways for a parent to express their love, some with words, some with actions, other times both.
Although I was loved by my parents and it was shown in many ways that meant so much to me: the one thing I wanted to verbally here were the actual words "I love you". It seemed difficult for them.
How do you feel about expressing love to children, do you see the actual words as important, as I do.. or do you think it matters not?

How right you are!

Its most important that they loved one another, (knowing that matters greatly). To hear you're loved by being told so is important, though like you I never heard it expressed by either of them towards their children, (or each other), even though they undoubtedly did.