When you apologize but they reject it

I only apologize if I really mean it. If I really meant what I said, I would not apologize. I have learned enough to recognize when I have hurt someone's feelings when that was not my intention. These things happen, you say something that hurts someone feelings and the only right thing to do is to give your sincere apology. Does not make me a bad person but makes me reflect on how the other person might feel.
 
Just because someone apologizes or ask forgiveness does not mean that they should be forgiven. It means that the person has had enough of your crap and does not want anything else to do with you. Just think of the wife beaters who after beating up their wife apologize and ask for forgiveness. The wife is so scared that she accepts the apology and forgives because she does not want to be beaten up again for not granting him forgiveness.
 
As some have said, some things are not forgivable.
When my wife cheated on me & I started divorce proceedings, she apologized several times.
I said, "Sorry, can't stay with someone I can't trust or respect."
She told me to "Stop living in the past."
I said, "OK. I'll start living in the present. Presently, I'm married to a sleazeball. But not for long."
 
Lawrence said:
Just because someone apologizes or ask forgiveness does not mean that they should be forgiven. It means that the person has had enough of your crap and does not want anything else to do with you. Just think of the wife beaters who after beating up their wife apologize and ask for forgiveness. The wife is so scared that she accepts the apology and forgives because she does not want to be beaten up again for not granting him forgiveness.
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^^^ Not usually the reason she forgives him. It has more to do with her low self esteem.
 
Since it wasn't a strong relationship, I agree with what others have replied. You were man enough to apologize, he wasn't a gracious enough man to accept it....at that time. He may still reconsider and come around. If not...as the song titles say:
Keep On Moving
Go Your Own Way
Ain't Thinking Bout You
and
IDGAF
 
win231 said:
As some have said, some things are not forgivable.
When my wife cheated on me & I started divorce proceedings, she apologized several times.
I said, "Sorry, can't stay with someone I can't trust or respect."
She told me to "Stop living in the past."
I said, "OK. I'll start living in the present. Presently, I'm married to a sleazeball. But not for long."
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Sorry you went thru such a terrible thing, and I understand your reaction. That would be a horrible thing to overcome. Some have the strength for it, I don't think I could. If it happens once, it could happen again. I would not be able to get that out of my mind and heart.
 
NorthernLight said:
Yes, you did what you could. Move on.

Sometimes it's sad and difficult. My daughter got mad at me. I know the situation, but I don't understand her thinking. I apologized, but she stayed mad. Over the years I've considered trying to explain, or something. But I've decided not to.
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How's that working out for you, your pride getting in your own way? I don't know you, but you remind me so much of my husband that sometimes I feel I do. I don't know the details but think you're making the mistake of your life............is your pride good company for you?

You need to rethink your "strategy" with your daughter. Yours is not working. I say this with a loving heart to you. Estrangement from your daughter is not in your best interest.

Or is being right so important?
 
When I was a young mother we had another young mother neighbor who was having a lot of emotional issues. She took it out on others and one day she let into me out of the blue and said some unfair things.
We never spoke after that.
Many months later she came to me and said her therapist suggested she apologize to me.
To my DEEP REGRET I I shrugged it off and did not really accept it.
We both moved and I never saw her but what I did do was grow up.
If I could do it over I would hug her, tell her how brave that was and although we wouldn't be friends I would have done the right thing.
 
Pepper said:
How's that working out for you, your pride getting in your own way? I don't know you, but you remind me so much of my husband that sometimes I feel I do. I don't know the details but think you're making the mistake of your life............is your pride good company for you?

You need to rethink your "strategy" with your daughter. Yours is not working. I say this with a loving heart to you. Estrangement from your daughter is not in your best interest.

Or is being right so important?
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I don't think I was "right." I was just being me. She's the one who got mad. I already apologized and said I didn't mean to make her mad. She's one of those people who doesn't suffer fools. She has cut other people out of her life, and now me.

I know people who are fed up with their mothers. Every phone call, gift, or other interaction with their mothers makes them feel bad. I don't want to be one of those mothers.

I've mulled this over for years. I want to do the right thing. I believe I'm doing the right thing.
 
Disgsutedman, you're kind of short on details about your "altercation". To put it indelicately, how much of a jackass were you? You obviously feel a "sorry" is enough atonement, but is a "sorry: really enough? If you were your opponent, would you truly be satisfied with a "sorry"? That answer determines your future with them.
 
I am estranged from my sister, my three nephews and their children, my grand nephews & nieces whom I never met. I understand the pain of separation @NorthernLight. I've tried with them for nearly two decades.

But my son, being estranged from him? I think I'd crawl on my hands & knees for something, anything. I wish you the best.
 
Pepper said:
I am estranged from my sister, my three nephews and their children, my grand nephews & nieces whom I never met. I understand the pain of separation @NorthernLight. I've tried with them for nearly two decades.

But my son, being estranged from him? I think I'd crawl on my hands & knees for something, anything. I wish you the best.
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I am estranged from my sister as well but I still have a relationship with my BIL and nephew. She is just hard headed, she can get over it or not. I don't worry to much about it. BIL and nephew get it, they have to live with her.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Disgsutedman, you're kind of short on details about your "altercation". To put it indelicately, how much of a jackass were you? You obviously feel a "sorry" is enough atonement, but is a "sorry: really enough? If you were your opponent, would you truly be satisfied with a "sorry"? That answer determines your future with them.
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Well, it was pretty much he was upset about me removing some donated food from the picnic tables instead of letting them sit out in the rain for others to pick over or until they got soaked enough to turn to mush and not fit for human consumption.

Several months ago, we had rats coming from a new development across the street. This in turn made it imperitive that food not be left out for any long period. As it was raining like a cow pissing in a flat rock, the boxes were rapidly deteriorating.

Now, with this incident, the managers have decided that all food and clothing now goes to the "Glass House" some people can access it and also the clothing in a dry environment.
.
Regarding the person. He's not important. I apologized, he's not accepting it, too bad. If he can't be man enough to accept an apology, he's not worth my time.
 
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Disgustedman said:
Well, it was pretty much he was upset about me removing some donated food from the picnic tables instead of letting them sit out in the rain for others to pick over or until they got soaked enough to turn to mush and not fit for human consumption.

Several months ago, we had rats coming from a new development across the street. This in turn made it imperitive that food not be left out for any long period. As it was raining like a cow pissing in a flat rock, the boxes were rapidly deteriorating.

Now, with this incident, the managers have decided that all food and clothing now goes to the "Glass House" some people can access it and also the clothing in a dry environment.
.
Regarding the person. He's not important. I apologized, he's not accepting it, too bad. If he can't be man enough to accept an apology, he's not worth my time.
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Hey, s*** happens. You do what you can do.
 
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