just one post from me

I'm pretty sure most of us have felt the same way, whether it is on this forum, or another forum , or with face to face events or heck, in my case, even with my family at times. The feeling does pop up for me from time to time but then it passes and at least for me I recognize that I was just being insecure because of life's events around me. It had nothing to do how others were acting towards me. Not sure if this is what might be happening to you but might help to take a break a couple of days until you feel better about things. This is just my opinion though .

What I can tell you is that I do enjoy your input. I don't participate in many topic but I do read many of them and I find your input informative. But since I don't really participate in the discussions it's hard for you to know that. And I feel the same way about many people who have participated in the forum since I have started. I know them by their screen name but haven't really given them feedback on how much I enjoy their input. I am not going to send a DM to someone every time I do like their input but I will put more effort into marking a comment with a like or a heart if I do appreciate their input. I have been guilty at times of just lurking and not giving an effort to show someone I do like what they said and it really does not take effort on my part to do so. So you have opened my eyes on this topic Janice

Sorry for the long ramble but just wanted you to know that you are not alone with those thoughts, not necessarily about this forum in specific but life in general. I have felt it at times also.

Oh, by the way, my name actually is Mark and I am in Phoenix. You will have to torture me if you want to know my middle and last name though 🤪
 
JaniceM said:
And for whatever reason no one thinks I’m interesting enough, or attractive enough, or important enough to want to get to know as a person, I’m tired of being an outsider. I think it’s been more than long enough to try to be Accepted yet somehow failing every step of the way.
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I think you are interesting and important, and probably attractive. And I certainly accept you. I don't see that you have failed.

I have not seen your picture, but I find everyone I like to be attractive, so I am sure you are. However that is the least important trait I can think of...
 

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Jules said:
Janice, I go out of my way to not give my real name. There’s a forum that I’ve been on for over a dozen years. One fellow was very interesting and we discussed some things in PMs, mostly political stuff, nothing bad. One day the owner sent me a link to his prison history. He’d spent 7 years in jail and was/is a registered pedophile. Sometimes you’re just better off knowing some people. It’s so hard to know, so I avoid PM chat.

I always recognize you when you’re posting and that makes you one of my ‘online friends.’ I hope that’s ok.
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Oddly, I received the same link from the owner of that forum. I did not think though it was the exact same person as in the link. Hard to say.
 
Bella said:
You're not doing anything wrong @JaniceM. I haven't been here as long as you have, and I don't consider myself on the inside or the outside, I'm just here. I read more than I post and don't respond to everything. I've occasionally posted threads and most times very few people respond, but I'll continue posting about what interests me. If people respond, great, if they don't, oh well.

I know I'm not everyone's cuppa cappuccino, and there are some people here that I'm not particularly fond of. There are a few members who like to boast about "knowing" things as if they have a secret inside track on information not generally known to others, or about how long and how well they know other members and what good friends they are. That's just the way it is on social media platforms.
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This is how I feel, too. Only a couple have reached out to me with a PM, and I thought it was because I don't share many intimate thoughts or dilemmas I may have in any given day or week. Many members are comfortable sharing almost anything, but I won't do it on a public forum. But, that is just me.
I would like to PM a few members to get to know them better, but I am afraid they would think I am stalking them, or getting too personal.
I enjoy your posts, and seeing your avatar when I am online. You stick it out, we like you, genuinely like YOU.
I may stick around awhile, too;)
 
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Please stay @JaniceM as all of us together make a community. Every single person here is a part and you are one too. At first when I joined here I was timid about posting even comments. I slowly found my way and starting my diary was the best thing I did......for me. I didn't really write it for others, just my own account. As for my real name, it is all over the whole internet so I have nothing to hide. katlupe is a combo of my first and last names and I use it everywhere, even on fakebook. Write in this diary and let us get to know you better.
 
Talking of real names.. funny story.. I once told someone here my real name.. and she freaked :eek::eek::eek: No-no-no.. she wailed, I can't call you that , it doesn't match you.. I can't think of you as anything other than Holly!! :ROFLMAO:

Point being that you don't have to know someone's given name to have a good relationship with them
 
hollydolly said:
Talking of real names.. funny story.. I once told someone here my real name.. and she freaked :eek::eek::eek: No-no-no.. she wailed, I can't call you that , it doesn't match you.. I can't think of you as anything other than Holly!! :ROFLMAO:

Point being that you don't have to know someone's given name to have a good relationship with them
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That is why I don't want to know your real name. Probably something like Mildred or Francine that doesn't suit you. Holly is perfect for you.
 
Aaaww no need to feel that way. For me personally, whenever someone private messaged me in past forums, they always wanted something or was selling something or wanted to hook up. LOL I think it depends on how you view it.
I prefer getting to know people on the boards, no need to know real names. Plus I'm a private person and an introvert, I prefer talking on the boards. That way I can choose what I want to discuss or tell about myself without feeling like someone expects me to say things since it's private message. Plus like someone else said, you never know who is behind the PMs anyway. Too many crazy sick people in the world. The message boards are a perfect way to communicate and discuss things while keeping safe boundaries too. 😊 That's how I view it. Others may see it that way too. I like reading your posts and don't want you to feel unappreciated.
Do you have Facebook? A good idea is to invite people from here to your Facebook page maybe? Facebook is formatted for the kind of interaction you are seeking. 😊 Message boards are different. I like how message boards are set up. No need for PMs.
 
Well Janice, you can pm me anytime you feel this way. I’m just an old fart that enjoys posting a lot of nonsense and jokes mainly because I don’t have a lot to add to serious subjects.
I always answer anyone who takes the time to write me and enjoy talking to online folks. I even play words with friends with a couple members.
Live has been good to me and I guess I’m just trying to give back a little cheer or two. Need to talk Janis, I’m here everyday.
Pappy or Dave if you prefer.
 
I can't add a lot to what everyone has already said but just that on a forum I gravitate to people that have the same outlook on life that I do and there are many here... I appreciate and look forward to reading their post and Janice, you are one of them. Feel free to pm me any time.
 
JaniceM said:
Last night I was so distraught I couldn’t sleep. And I’m one of those people who almost never gets even slightly rattled by much of anything. I guess it came down to the last straw.

For a few days I’d been gathering info to contribute to a thread- interesting thread, and the topic was interesting to me for personal reasons- but it occurred to me ‘why bother,’ as no one is really interested in anything I say anyway.

When I was reading the thread though, I noticed posts/comments that again showed my place- or lack thereof. Individual was posting about sharing pictures, members ‘knowing’ various things, etc., and it had something in common with posts I’d seen from others that said their ‘friends’ on SF knew their real names, etc.

I’ve been a member since 2017. To the best of my recollection I’ve only known 3 members’ real names, and that’s only because they wrote books. To the best of my recollection only 2 people ever sent me direct messages, one who just wanted to complain about nearly everybody on the forum and the other who had basic questions/comments about forum.

I’ve also noticed when I contact anyone the members generally reply to a question or comment, and that’s it- unless I push and push, I never hear from them again. I’m not in the habit of pushing myself on people; if people don’t want to hear from me I don’t make an issue of it.

I’m also not in the habit of pushing in where I’m not wanted- but that seems to be what I continued to do here on SF for years. I have no idea what I’ve been doing wrong, but whatever criteria individuals have for considering people to be their ‘friends,’ I’ve never made the grade. Even after 5+ years, it’s like “being on the outside, looking in.”

And for whatever reason no one thinks I’m interesting enough, or attractive enough, or important enough to want to get to know as a person, I’m tired of being an outsider. I think it’s been more than long enough to try to be Accepted yet somehow failing every step of the way.
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Wow Janice. I definitely don't view you the way you view yourself! If memory serves me correctly, I've reacted with likes and hugs to your threads. There's so much going on here that it's hard to keep track sometimes. I have trouble keeping track of my own threads. Speaking of which, I've posted some threads that got no replies at all and only a couple of reactions. That's not a deterrent IMO. It just means it wasn't a subject matter of interest or other threads were more interesting thus people lost track of my threads.

Another thing your post makes me think of is the days I'm feeling down and I swear nobody loves me. But deep down, even though I'm feeling that, I know it's not true. So know that your input is valued, you are respected and we do care.
 
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The Washington Post has an article today that claims the glaciers are done for. California is under siege by weather...again. The war continues with horrible consequences. Mass shootings every week. Recession, food shortages, health system is almost crippled, and on and on. How can we keep a positive attitude with our world in so much trouble? It bothers me most all the time. We are older, and our health isn't what it was, that is a concern too. We try to keep things "lighthearted", but that is not very fulfilling when we have such hard conditions now. I feel like staying involved here, because eventually these issues are addressed. The real problem is that there is kind of a hopelessness about "fixing" any of these large problems. Everyone is guessing at solutions and not sure what to think. It is a very "unsure" era. I think you can feel this, and maybe feeling a bit overwhelmed, and afraid. ( me too ). I don't think it is time yet to abandon ship yet. I think we need to persevere, and have a little patience with each other.
 
Almost ten years on this forum myself .... And many, many people coming and going all the time, I still find it entertaining.
I come here to be enlightened about things I don't know ... and share what little I do know. :)

I joined the board when I was 70, and as I'm about to turn 80, it's been a wonderful experience.
My only advice would be not to take people's words too seriously, especially when you don't even know them -- and on a message board, keep in mind you never really know them.

... you don't know what they are living with, or going through ... . Kindness, and keeping it 'light' helps in survival.

Sorry for your anxiety @JaniceM
 

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