Aging in Place - Have you made preparations?

caroln said:
I've been giving some thought into getting rid of a bathtub/shower combo and installing a low entry shower stall. But it would be in the hall bath, which I've heard is a bad idea when you go to sell the house. Most families want a bathtub in the hall bath for the kids, not in their master bedroom. But the master bath in our house is my husband's bathroom (it's very small) and my bathroom is the hall bath, and I'm the one that wants the shower conversion.

At this point, I'm not sure I should be concerned about resale since I plan to never leave this house until forced to. Shower conversion kits have come a long way in recent years and some are really stunning, but I just don't know if people still think they're tacky and will hurt resale value.

I keep thinking I should make the house convenient for me, not the next owner, but I don't want to destroy the home's value either. What to do...what to do???
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Update: I went ahead with the shower conversion and I love it! I got a rain shower head plus a hand held sprayer, 3 shelves, 2 grab bars, and a fold down teak seat. The only problem I ran into was the shower curtain. The shower pan is sloped toward the drain so the shower curtain is fine on the deep end but crumples up on the shallow end.

I would have gone with glass doors, but I didn't want to clean them all the time, plus it was more than I could afford. So I mess with the shower curtain all the time. Oh, well. Other than that, it was a good decision and I'm sure I'll appreciate it even more when my mobility gets more limited.
 

Colleen said:
My realtor told me that bathtubs are being fazed out so when we had renovations done, we had a shower put in the main bathroom upstairs and had the tub taken out. We were afraid hubby would trip getting out of a tub/shower because of his injured ankle. I guess I'll find out in the future how that affected the value of the house. We did it for our convenience and safety.
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I think that makes sense. Years ago, I had always heard that for re-sale value, a house with only 1 bathroom better have ideally both shower & tub, if not then a tub because more people back then wanted tubs, because of adults that needed to sit while bathing, etc.

So the other day, when I saw a house for sale here that only had 1 bathroom with just a large walk-in shower, I at first thought about the old saying it needed both or at least just a tub and then I thought, that shower is large enough that you could put a shower chair in there (even a wheelchair would've fit in that particular shower) or heck, even a kids wading pool a kid or pet could sit in.

So I bet your realtor's right.
 
My wife had the same concern about getting in & out of a tub. That became a project for me. Removing the tub was easy. Hardest part was cutting a channel in the cement floor to allow enough height for the drain. Once the drain tubing was in place cementing the channel to floor level took some ingenuity.
 

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Excellent. As we get older can't react to 'surprises' like we could when in young.

I begged a fellow but much older senior to do the same and instead of doing detailed research ahead of time they waited and wound up in a nursing home with a court appointed lawyer actually there for the state but are portrayed as an advocate for the patient.

They got so ill they couldn't make to their desk top computer, rejected tech like tablets, smart phones etc and still call 'information' on their landline where most use a phone book or internet.

I've seen renovation shows where homes were made all handicapped accessable and refused to anything close saying that would be admission they aren't independent or functional. They refused to use a porta potty purchased for them for the same reason instead got gigged for jars of urine beside their bed after ambulance crew turned them in(at least use an actual urine container/bottle with handle and lid)

I can go on and on but the finally days no matter how one plans to spend them need preperation Make a house accessable(for others and possibly ambulance crews). If one needs support leave walkers, canes, scooter always in reach. Get extra cordless landline phones so one is always with you. Have heavy duty and/or extra support bars, rails installed(professionally screwed into the studs) through out the house.

I find time goes faster as one ages so final prepations cannot be a procrastination/get to it later project.
 
In the past week our son has moved in with us, to help with things we can't do. It has been a bit stressful for the 3 of us but we are getting it all figured out. We enjoy him being here, we do hope he enjoys being here. Tonight he made tacos for us. YUM! His tacos are better than any we can buy around here.
 
WhatInThe said:
Excellent. As we get older can't react to 'surprises' like we could when in young.

I begged a fellow but much older senior to do the same and instead of doing detailed research ahead of time they waited and wound up in a nursing home with a court appointed lawyer actually there for the state but are portrayed as an advocate for the patient.

They got so ill they couldn't make to their desk top computer, rejected tech like tablets, smart phones etc and still call 'information' on their landline where most use a phone book or internet.

I've seen renovation shows where homes were made all handicapped accessable and refused to anything close saying that would be admission they aren't independent or functional. They refused to use a porta potty purchased for them for the same reason instead got gigged for jars of urine beside their bed after ambulance crew turned them in(at least use an actual urine container/bottle with handle and lid)

I can go on and on but the finally days no matter how one plans to spend them need preperation Make a house accessable(for others and possibly ambulance crews). If one needs support leave walkers, canes, scooter always in reach. Get extra cordless landline phones so one is always with you. Have heavy duty and/or extra support bars, rails installed(professionally screwed into the studs) through out the house.

I find time goes faster as one ages so final prepations cannot be a procrastination/get to it later project.
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So true. I've seen it over and over, both IRL and online (including here on SF) of people putting it off, saying "I'll do something about it later; it's not time yet, I'm/we're doing great still" and then "all of a sudden"--no it didn't happen suddenly, you were in denial about what was coming and probably already happening--they're in the nursing home as you mentioned above or stuffed into a small bedroom in a grown child's house (a situation I'm afraid is coming soon for some friends).

Why people (including my spouse) just refuse to make any prepartions at all for any of this really puzzles me; I guess denial is one of the most prevalent human emotions.
 
I already live in a senior apartment building. I have a helper who comes twice a week for help with personal care or household things I cannot do. I have a chair in my shower. And my toilet has grab bars and a higher seat
I have my medic alert button too. I think I can stay here for the duration, but at some point I may move out closer to my niece
 
Just recently I had another "accident/surprise". I had constipation so bad that I unwittingly pushed to hard and now have a small hernia. It has complicated my movement because of discomfort. Just this small thing happened, and more small things keep adding up to my surprise. I am now starting to realize that I really need to be careful. I am too used to behaving like I did 10 years ago. It don't work that way no more. We ARE going to fall apart, we just don't know how it is going to go. So be prepared, is great advice.
 
Even if one decides to go into a retirement home finding a good one takes time, tours, questions, comparisons and/or research. I know a couple who researched them for years, when healthy they made the project/activity of the day. One had cancer but lived over decade the spouse wasn't getting younger. Should note at the sametime they did repairs, renovations and upgrades on the house including grab bars, rails, handles secured into studs. Even got estimates on a step lift/elevator and got a low wall bathtub just in case they stayed. The upgrades made house easy to sell.


When it came time or they wanted to out of the house they knew where they were going and started the process-even that is not intaneous-they had to wait for an opening but the years of prep and planning ahead paid off.
 
For those who cannot install traditional grab bars, I discovered this option - link below. Note: I bought mine at Amazon for much less than manufacturer’s price.

www.stander.com

I recently had a total knee replacement surgery and live alone. Prior to the surgery, I tried to think of every home modification and any equipment I might need to help with my rehabilitation. I watched quite a few YouTube videos by physical therapists for ideas and one suggested this movable “grab pole” for use in showers, by beds, to assist with standing from chairs, sofas, beds, etc. I bought one but have not needed to use it since I was able to have grab bars installed and to purchase walkers, etc. but it’s good to know I have another option.
 
officerripley said:
My huzz even refuses to get a grab bar for the shower; calls 'em "sissy bars", sigh.
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I would insist on these and hire someone to install them. Falls in the bathtub can be serious and even fatal. Although I don’t have any mobility problems at all I still had them installed and use the one to step in and out of the bathtub. One fall can ruin or end your life. One person doesn’t get to make all the decisions for both of you.
 
Paco Dennis said:
Just recently I had another "accident/surprise". I had constipation so bad that I unwittingly pushed to hard and now have a small hernia. It has complicated my movement because of discomfort. Just this small thing happened, and more small things keep adding up to my surprise. I am now starting to realize that I really need to be careful. I am too used to behaving like I did 10 years ago. It don't work that way no more. We ARE going to fall apart, we just don't know how it is going to go. So be prepared, is great advice.
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These 'surprises' have been happening to me also in the last decade. So I sympathize with you. Being prepared is the key. One step at a time.
 
J-Kat said:
For those who cannot install traditional grab bars, I discovered this option - link below. Note: I bought mine at Amazon for much less than manufacturer’s price.

www.stander.com

I recently had a total knee replacement surgery and live alone. Prior to the surgery, I tried to think of every home modification and any equipment I might need to help with my rehabilitation. I watched quite a few YouTube videos by physical therapists for ideas and one suggested this movable “grab pole” for use in showers, by beds, to assist with standing from chairs, sofas, beds, etc. I bought one but have not needed to use it since I was able to have grab bars installed and to purchase walkers, etc. but it’s good to know I have another option.
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Thanks for sharing that! The prices are a little high, but like you said, you can buy it on Amazon.
 
WhatInThe said:
Even if one decides to go into a retirement home finding a good one takes time, tours, questions, comparisons and/or research. I know a couple who researched them for years, when healthy they made the project/activity of the day. One had cancer but lived over decade the spouse wasn't getting younger. Should note at the sametime they did repairs, renovations and upgrades on the house including grab bars, rails, handles secured into studs. Even got estimates on a step lift/elevator and got a low wall bathtub just in case they stayed. The upgrades made house easy to sell.


When it came time or they wanted to out of the house they knew where they were going and started the process-even that is not intaneous-they had to wait for an opening but the years of prep and planning ahead paid off.
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Thanks for sharing this! The important message I got from your post is "when healthy they made the project/activity of the day." That's the best time to make the changes. I also am thinking about the "step lift/elevator" if my mom does decide to come and stay with me.
 
Great thread with lots of good recommendations.

I live in a one story house with 1-2 steps in a couple of areas. Hall bathroom and master have tubs and walk in showers, as does our RV. No grab bars, but all have non-slip mats on the floor, so excellent traction. Next time our handyman is here, I'll have him install grab bars.

We put in higher toilets within the past few years - Costco happened to have them when we wanted to replace them. Wow - what a difference. Why are standard toilets are so low anyway? Kids only need low toilets for a couple of years, but high toilets are suitable for the 5 and over set, so nearly all of most human's lifespans.

Yes to grabbers for things on high shelves, but DH happens to be 6' and very accommodating when something is out of my reach.

I like @gamboolman's suggestions about strings of motion activated LED lights under kitchen cabinets and will look into them - want something that plugs in.

How long we'll stay in this 2500 SF house is open to question, but we expect to be here for the foreseeable future.

mat.JPG
 
palides2021 said:
I just returned from my trip to Florida to visit my 88 year old mother (and celebrate her birthday). She lives alone, has difficulty walking due to both her knees are shot, and she uses a cane and small walker when needed. However, she is quite independent and can cook and wash, and her mind is still sharp. She has several friends who have helped her out in the past. I was only there for 3 weeks, and I did as much as I could to help her - she doesn't drive. Took her to the hair salon, her doctor's appointments, dentist appointment, etc. She kept asking what should she do for the future? Should she stay in her home, or move in with my sister who is a few minutes away? I told her to stay in her home as long as she can. I also offered for her to move in with me, but the first thing she said was "Your house has a lot of steps." Many changes would have to take place in order for my mom to move in with me.

That got me to thinking - I plan to stay in my house for the rest of my life. Is my house ready for me? I started reading up on "Aging in place" where you ready/renovate your house for the future. It would cost me around $9,000 - 20,000 to make the changes.....depending on what I want to do.

Has anyone done this to their house? If so, how much did it cost and are you satisfied with the results?
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caroln said:
Good solution, except for the fact the shower rods are permanently attached to the walls. 🤷‍♀️
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Get out the scissors?
 
The plan was to leave the house to my son and he would care for me in my old age. He once had a part time job in a nursing home and swore I would never go into one. Unfortunately he died during the pandemic and I don't have a plan B.

The in-law suite I occupy in this house was designed for an older woman so there is an "en suite" bathroom with a seat in the shower. all on the first floor off the kitchen. Also I am able to rent out a couple of rooms on the second floor to help with expenses. Having the guys here who called the ambulance the night I got so sick was a blessing.
 
Also start looking into homecare services including medical and domestic(cleaning etc). Sooner or later one will need them if they don't have family that will do domestic chores in particular. If there is somekind of medical issue/care involved sometime insurance/medicare will pay for home visits. But just like a hospital there has to be medical treatment involved.

Right now in many areas alot of generic home care or aid is only available for 8-24 hours at a time. Many seniors just need a daily visit for an hour or so to tidy up, deal with any medical issues, change sheets, take out trash etc.

I was told several years ago by a now retired nurse they want more home care in general. It's cheaper to send a nurse out to a home than the expense of staffing and maintaining a hospital wing for care. Hopefully more services are covered or drop in price.
 

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