The General Humor Thread

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Earlier today my wife texted me from the supermarket. She had gone shopping for a few groceries and instead of writing down our needs she had committed them to memory. The text read: "Do you need anything?" My reply read:
"I am looking for inner peace and happiness, an answer to my doubts, a sense of fulfilment, a medium through which I can transcend consciousness and reach true spirituality, calmness and........."Be more specific," she interrupted, "Smirnoff or Jack Daniels?"
 

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