I Commend You Ladies!

HiDesertHal

HiDesertHal

Senior Member
Location
Southern California's High Mojave Desert
I heartily commend all those women who have finally shown the boldness to come out against those celebrities and Government officials who have been guilty of sexual misconduct even though the incidents may have happened decades ago!

It's time to punish those who are guilty of fondling, groping, etc. no matter how wealthy and famous they are.

Go for it, Girls!
HiDesertHal
 

I`m so glad you posted this because I have been wanting to get everyone`s opinion on something that is going on with my youngest daughter.

She has been employed by a very prestigious real estate company in the Northern California Wine Country for 5 or 6 years. She is the Office Coordinator,but before she left for Hawaii on vacation two weeks ago,she was told she had been promoted and would start her new position when she returned. Let me say first off that the people in her office absolutely LOVE her. When I have gone in there to meet up with her for lunch and she introduced me,every single one of them raved about her.Not surprising really-she is very,very personable and extremely organized. She makes all of their jobs so much easier.

So on the day before she was to leave for vacation,the last order of business for the day was to meet with the Sales Manager and another woman from the office to discuss a couple of office "rules". I`ll start by saying this woman was hired by the Sales Manager-they are friends. As Office Manager,my daughter is in charge of petty cash. This woman has "borrowed" from petty cash-in fact has wiped it out-and has not repaid the money. My daughter was questioning whether or not this was allowed(the borrowing of the cash for personal use) The Sales Manager said yes,of course,as long as she pays it back. My daughter did not feel that is the case. She ended the meeting and said "OK,I am leaving." Went to her car and messaged the broker and the HR person and asked for a meeting first thing upon her return. I should mention that my daughter is very unhappy with this woman`s job performance all the way around. But she has the Sales Manager in her pocket so she knows nothing will be done.

Now the biggie. The Sales Manager has been sexually harassing every,single female in the office for the year and a half he has been there. They all dodge him when they see him coming and have taken to wearing clothing that covers up what he is normally staring at. And has rubbed up against my daughter and the others in very inappropriate ways. He told their broker that he doesn`t have daughters and likes to thing of al the office ladies as his daughters-and treats them as such. My daughter told her broker "I am very close to my dad but believe me-he has NEVER rubbed himself up against me like that!" (This man is 70,by the way).

Anyway,long story short,he told the broker that my daughter walked out and she received a message on her way to the airport that her final check would be waiting for her when she returned from Hawaii. She was stunned. She has the utmost respect for her broker and he for her (obviously-he had just promoted her.) He then called her when she returned and asked to meet with her. She assumed that he would offer her her job back but no. He is defending the Sales Manager. Now three other women in the office have filed complaints about the man,the top agent sent an email stating she was taking a leave of absence,effective immediately,and no one has heard a word from her since. The broker has been inundated with emails from the staff,saying that if this is not handled correctly,they too will be resigning. But he is sticking by his sales manager. He says "I know he has a problem,so I am going to require him to attend Sexual Harrassment trainings." WHAT??!!?? Is he crazy??? He has left himself wide open to a huge lawsuit,IMO. My daughter has received calls from people she knows in the business offering to help her legally. They are in shock at his idiocy as well.

Sorry this got sooooo long-and should have been it`s own thread. Maybe I`ll do that.

Bottom line is,at this point,daughter is afraid to do anything legally. She is very afraid that word will travel and she will never find another job in real estate. I doubt this would be the case though-she already has job offers. She is a very positive person and I know having the negativity of a lawsuit in her life would be pure torture for her. But,like I told her,you need to think about the next person,who may need the job too badly to speak up. You NEED to help stop this guy!

Opinions?
 
This is terrible! I hope she fights because I so want her to win, but I understand her fear and misery. I have some choice words for those two Bozo-Boyz, but can't speak them here. Oh, and for the woman dipping into the till, as well.

So sorry Mrs. Robinson.
 
Scary stuff, Mrs. Robinson. I can understand your daughter’s fear and anguish. There are no guarantees, of course, but if she backs down, what is to stop the creep from attempting to trash her reputation anyway? Men like that tend to be very punitive. I would love her to win also, but I understand if she chooses to just walk away.
 
Mrs. Robinson said:
I`m so glad you posted this because I have been wanting to get everyone`s opinion on something that is going on with my youngest daughter.

She has been employed by a very prestigious real estate company in the Northern California Wine Country for 5 or 6 years. She is the Office Coordinator,but before she left for Hawaii on vacation two weeks ago,she was told she had been promoted and would start her new position when she returned. Let me say first off that the people in her office absolutely LOVE her. When I have gone in there to meet up with her for lunch and she introduced me,every single one of them raved about her.Not surprising really-she is very,very personable and extremely organized. She makes all of their jobs so much easier.

So on the day before she was to leave for vacation,the last order of business for the day was to meet with the Sales Manager and another woman from the office to discuss a couple of office "rules". I`ll start by saying this woman was hired by the Sales Manager-they are friends. As Office Manager,my daughter is in charge of petty cash. This woman has "borrowed" from petty cash-in fact has wiped it out-and has not repaid the money. My daughter was questioning whether or not this was allowed(the borrowing of the cash for personal use) The Sales Manager said yes,of course,as long as she pays it back. My daughter did not feel that is the case. She ended the meeting and said "OK,I am leaving." Went to her car and messaged the broker and the HR person and asked for a meeting first thing upon her return. I should mention that my daughter is very unhappy with this woman`s job performance all the way around. But she has the Sales Manager in her pocket so she knows nothing will be done.

Now the biggie. The Sales Manager has been sexually harassing every,single female in the office for the year and a half he has been there. They all dodge him when they see him coming and have taken to wearing clothing that covers up what he is normally staring at. And has rubbed up against my daughter and the others in very inappropriate ways. He told their broker that he doesn`t have daughters and likes to thing of al the office ladies as his daughters-and treats them as such. My daughter told her broker "I am very close to my dad but believe me-he has NEVER rubbed himself up against me like that!" (This man is 70,by the way).

Anyway,long story short,he told the broker that my daughter walked out and she received a message on her way to the airport that her final check would be waiting for her when she returned from Hawaii. She was stunned. She has the utmost respect for her broker and he for her (obviously-he had just promoted her.) He then called her when she returned and asked to meet with her. She assumed that he would offer her her job back but no. He is defending the Sales Manager. Now three other women in the office have filed complaints about the man,the top agent sent an email stating she was taking a leave of absence,effective immediately,and no one has heard a word from her since. The broker has been inundated with emails from the staff,saying that if this is not handled correctly,they too will be resigning. But he is sticking by his sales manager. He says "I know he has a problem,so I am going to require him to attend Sexual Harrassment trainings." WHAT??!!?? Is he crazy??? He has left himself wide open to a huge lawsuit,IMO. My daughter has received calls from people she knows in the business offering to help her legally. They are in shock at his idiocy as well.

Sorry this got sooooo long-and should have been it`s own thread. Maybe I`ll do that.

Bottom line is,at this point,daughter is afraid to do anything legally. She is very afraid that word will travel and she will never find another job in real estate. I doubt this would be the case though-she already has job offers. She is a very positive person and I know having the negativity of a lawsuit in her life would be pure torture for her. But,like I told her,you need to think about the next person,who may need the job too badly to speak up. You NEED to help stop this guy!

Opinions?
Click to expand...

A text book case of a complaining woman getting the shaft and a sleazy manager being protected. At 70 years of age he could have been allowed to resign and salvage his reputation but no, they stick by him no matter what. The women are silenced by fear of the consequences they will face finding another job in the industry.

I'm sorry Mrs Robinson that your daughter is on the receiving end but if ever there was a time to be assertive about this, the time is now. Perhaps she should make a visit to the office with a lawyer, demanding justice and restitution, or else.
 
I think ALL of these Perverts should be Fired, and/or forced out of office. If a man cannot separate his "private" life from his career...with respect to dealing with woman in a professional manner...he does not deserve to hold a political office, or position of responsibility...IMO. I worked with women all during my career, and never once had any inclination to do more than offer them a compliment on their good looks....I married the best one I ever found.
 
Mrs. Robinson, no reason your daughter can't accept the best job she's offered. When she's safe and secure in another job, she can always sue her old company. That old job is not ever going to be a good place to be, even if they get rid of the sexual harasser. The broker is the problem. He's either an enabler or he has a problem himself.
 
HiDesertHal said:
I heartily commend all those women who have finally shown the boldness to come out against those celebrities and Government officials who have been guilty of sexual misconduct even though the incidents may have happened decades ago!




It's time to punish those who are guilty of fondling, groping, etc. no matter how wealthy and famous they are.

Go for it, Girls!
HiDesertHal
Click to expand...


And you know they are guilty...how ?...No one has any proof, only accusation...Is that enough for you ?
 
Mrs. Robinson, I am so sorry your daughter is going through this, and I also understand her concern about her reputation in her career and also her future. Unfortunately, this is usually the way women are silenced.

I think that were I she, I would consult an attorney and find out exactly what her options are in your state and take what actions she needs to to protect herself and her job and force them to take action against the dirty old man. Depending on the attorney's advice, I'd tear into them tooth and claw.

Having said that, however, I think I would also take one of the other job offers she has and move on. I doubt she will be happy again in her present job, and IMHO her employers have shown they cannot be trusted. It wouldn't surprise me for one minute if they contrived a reason to get rid of her anyway, in the not-too-distant future, or just made her life so miserable there that she quits for her peace of mind and sanity.
 
It's a shame that a woman can't just go to work and do her job without some wolf trying to cop a feel or make a score. There are laws against some of the behavior that these guys are doing, however, prosecution is really a hard sell, unless there is definitive proof, like having a picture or other women who are willing to corroborate the person who was assaulted and her story and even then, many prosecutors are reluctant to sign a warrant or even ask a grand jury for an indictment. They just don't see the need to spend all that money to try a case that is won less than 50% of the time.

Same for supervisors. We have found that more than half of the supervisors that we have interviewed are unwilling to take action against an employee for a complaint of sexual harassment. If the case would go to court and the defendant would be found not guilty, the company may be facing a huge lawsuit. Same if the women files a suit against the company for not taking action and the defendant is found guilty, the company again is facing a lawsuit. These matters really put the company in a lose-lose situation.

I sincerely do feel bad for these women as most honorable men do and I also know how I would feel if my wife was one of the women being attacked or pursued. I would hope that my wife would come to me and tell me what's going on because I would be more than happy to pay the fellow a visit and have a chat with him, out of uniform, of course, or maybe not.

Going one step further, I would recommend to any woman that feels they are being harassed at work that if it should advance to being stalked, not to wait and see if the situation takes care of itself, but to act on it immediately. I have dealt with stalkers and some have not ended well for the woman being pursued. So, be very careful out there and please, never be afraid to speak up. Someone will eventually listen to you.
 
Someone will eventually listen to you
Click to expand...

That is exactly the same message that underpinned a program of Protective Behaviours that we delivered to our students at school. Perhaps more of this kind of education needs to be delivered to children, age appropriately of course. It might vaccinate potential victims and encourage current ones to seek help.
 
Mrs Robinson your daughters fear is what keeps this kind of thing happening. There are EEOC complaint forms that get investigated. From what you have described she should win a lawsuit and the recognition of her abilities established beyond doubt. Given the new atmosphere of women coming out any reputable company would probably hire hire based on her integrity to report.

Given that she hasn't been reinstated what does she have to lose? Actually why would she want to be reinstated with the kind of work place you have described?
 
Knight said:
Mrs Robinson your daughters fear is what keeps this kind of thing happening. There are EEOC complaint forms that get investigated. From what you have described she should win a lawsuit and the recognition of her abilities established beyond doubt. Given the new atmosphere of women coming out any reputable company would probably hire hire based on her integrity to report.

Given that she hasn't been reinstated what does she have to lose? Actually why would she want to be reinstated with the kind of work place you have described?
Click to expand...

I too think she would win-if for no other reason than her boss stated-right in front of the HR person-that he himself has witnesses this man being inappropriate. Hard for me to believe that this man has not at least run this by lawyers.

I talked with her yesterday about getting in touch with the person who emailed and offered to help her legally. She hasn`t yet responded to him but may. Meanwhile,she was offered a job by an agent who will pay her $30.00 an hour to handle her escrows-I have no idea what she was earning before-and she is,at this very moment,in an interview to work for a winebroker right in the small town here she lives. She thinks it sounds like an awesome opportunity,but her heart is in real estate so she` not sure. But then,she also said "I do like fine wine though...." lol
 
rgp said:
And you know they are guilty...how ?...No one has any proof, only accusation...Is that enough for you ?
Click to expand...
How do YOU know there is no proof? Why would we see all these apologies from these people if they were innocent. I don't know the source of your attitude but I hope you find peace somehow.
 
Just ignore him, AZ. He clearly doesn't have a leg to stand on and is just trying to foment an argument.
 

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