Its every man for himself in this world

Unknowingly is something else. Of course the married one knows he or she is married but may conceal that fact from another. In that case the odium falls on the deceiver.
 

Point taken

Warrigal said:
Unknowingly is something else. Of course the married one knows he or she is married but may conceal that fact from another. In that case the odium falls on the deceiver.
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Point taken, and if you don't mind my saying (as I mean this as a compliment), you don't sound like someone to be crossed lightly :eek:.

We've moved the topic into the area of "morals" now haven't we, so maybe a bit off topic, but as I'm primarily responsible, and the OP maybe I'll get away with it!
 
Warrigal said:
Unknowingly is something else. Of course the married one knows he or she is married but may conceal that fact from another. In that case the odium falls on the deceiver.
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Warrigal, I was married to a man who simply could not keep his zipper up. The first few times, I got angry at and blamed the other woman (he manipulated me to make himself appear relatively blameless) but it didn't take long to realize none of those women made vows to me. I still feel like that.

A friend recently took back her cheating husband. She divorced him and had pretty much moved on but external circumstances brought them together and her family pushed her to take him back. What she doesn't know is he had been cheating all along, so I figure he'll keep it up until she catches him again. I feel the same way about married women cheating; it's not a male/female issue.
 

grahamg said:
Point taken, and if you don't mind my saying (as I mean this as a compliment), you don't sound like someone to be crossed lightly :eek:.

We've moved the topic into the area of "morals" now haven't we, so maybe a bit off topic, but as I'm primarily responsible, and the OP maybe I'll get away with it!
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My sister has a cheating husband but she has stuck with him. She deserves much better but what happens within a marriage is nobody else's business most of the time. I respect their marriage bond and whoever she loves, I must love too but I am very grateful for the loyalty of my own husband.
 
With or without?

fuzzybuddy said:
Whether we like it or not, we live in a world of forced interdependence. Unfortunately, we can't live without them, but they can live with us
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Was that meant to say ".........but they can live without us?"

There are obviously many unpalatable realities to face whether a marriage or long term relationship goes wrong, but maybe its time to try to bring the thread back on topic, as even I feel we've strayed a bit far.
 
Warrigal said:
My sister has a cheating husband but she has stuck with him. She deserves much better but what happens within a marriage is nobody else's business most of the time. I respect their marriage bond and whoever she loves, I must love too but I am very grateful for the loyalty of my own husband.
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I can't argue with anything you've said there.
 
An enigma

Ruthanne said:
Grahamg wrote:
"Can't argue with that either (if its your response to OP statement?)."

Ruthanne wrote:
"Yes it is."
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Would it be fair to say the words in OP are a bit of an enigma?

My father was certainly an enigma having told his children this was the way the world works, he did his best to look after his children disregarding himself or his own interests.

If you were on the Titanic and about to sink would you really prefer the order that went out: "Women and children first", changed to a more "equality" based message?
 
I've been on cruises and attended the evacuation information sessions and there is not such thing as "women and children first". It is more a case of get your lifejacket and make your way to a muster point and you will be escorted to a lifeboat in an orderly way.

I take that with a grain of salt because if the ship is listing badly it might not be able to lower all of the boats. I think Hubby and I might choose to stand back and allow families to have the best chance of survival. We have lived our lives and wouldn't mind dying together if it ever comes to that. However, I think the crew would do their best to follow procedure which is probably egalitarian or first come first served because that is most efficient.
 
Hypothetically speaking

Warrigal said:
I've been on cruises and attended the evacuation information sessions and there is not such thing as "women and children first". It is more a case of get your lifejacket and make your way to a muster point and you will be escorted to a lifeboat in an orderly way.

I take that with a grain of salt because if the ship is listing badly it might not be able to lower all of the boats. I think Hubby and I might choose to stand back and allow families to have the best chance of survival. We have lived our lives and wouldn't mind dying together if it ever comes to that. However, I think the crew would do their best to follow procedure which is probably egalitarian or first come first served because that is most efficient.
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I should have put the caveat on my question about the message to be given on the Titanic as being hypothetical, but you are probably a bit of an exception to say your hubby and yourself might step back and allow families, including the father, to take a place on a lifeboat offered to you.

Of course some men did dress up as women in order to gain access to a lifeboat when the Titanic went down they say, though how they were treated afterwards I don't know. Perhaps we're back to the comment made earlier: "I'd say yes it is for some people and it's not for others."

As you say hopefully we wont have to face such a situation, so can if I can think of a more realistic scenario.
 
I was on a forum a while back where we were discussing some proposed changes about who is allowed to sit nearest emergency exits in public conveyances. Someone suggested that the elderly and frail should be positioned to get out first. I laughed and said I've had too many experiences where able-bodied young men would have trampled me quite cheerfully to get in line for a movie or to get ahead of me walking into a store. There were several responses, all from men, saying that couldn't possibly be true. I've remembered and laughed about their naivete several times since that happened.

I don't think people know what it's like to be a very little old lady whose life is apparently expendable when lines form. And they've obviously not watched young people endlessly circling parking lots to get the closest parking places.

Or maybe that only happens where I live. We have some subspecies of humanity here that should not be allowed to procreate.
 
Smiling Jane said:
I was on a forum a while back where we were discussing some proposed changes about who is allowed to sit nearest emergency exits in public conveyances. Someone suggested that the elderly and frail should be positioned to get out first. I laughed and said I've had too many experiences where able-bodied young men would have trampled me quite cheerfully to get in line for a movie or to get ahead of me walking into a store. There were several responses, all from men, saying that couldn't possibly be true. I've remembered and laughed about their naivete several times since that happened.

I don't think people know what it's like to be a very little old lady whose life is apparently expendable when lines form. And they've obviously not watched young people endlessly circling parking lots to get the closest parking places.

Or maybe that only happens where I live. We have some subspecies of humanity here that should not be allowed to procreate.
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Ive often been seated in the emergency exit seat on planes. I'm asked if I want to change or if I'm willing to open the door and help people off the plane. I always say yes and they never question it but sometimes I wonder what I really would do if the plane was crashing...probably panic if I'm being honest.
 
You have to struggle to get an education. You are in a competition to graduate.
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Why? Do schools only award their diplomas or degrees to the top contenders? I thought students were graded on how well they did the course work, not whether they beat someone else to the finish line.
 
Sunny said:
Why? Do schools only award their diplomas or degrees to the top contenders? I thought students were graded on how well they did the course work, not whether they beat someone else to the finish line.
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O.K. Let's say the top 10 to graduate can go to medical school and become a doctor?

Are you not in a competition with the others in your class.?

You try my patience.
 
grahamg said:
My father used to tell all his family: "Its every man for himself in this world?"



Do you agree?
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Agreement would imply that we've all experienced why your father used to tell his family that.

Maybe if you explained how he came to that conclusion, life experiences of others would off set what he said.
 
Trusting people

Knight said:
Grahamg wrote:
"My father used to tell all his family: "Its every man for himself in this world?"

Do you agree?"

Knight wrote:
"Agreement would imply that we've all experienced why your father used to tell his family that.

Maybe if you explained how he came to that conclusion, life experiences of others would off set what he said."
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That's a tough ask and its just possible there wasn't a whole lot behind my father's statement to his children.

He did say a few other vaguely similar things, such as "Friendship doesn't last forever" or words to that effect (maybe he'd felt let down by someone he thought of as a friend, though I'm not sure).

My mother used to say my father was "too trusting", so you could say that is a contradiction for someone who believed its every man for himself isn't it. As far as being too trusting goes my dad said "most folks are okay once the bit of bad is cut off" (once again or words to that effect).

Sorry I can't explain it any better than that, but in my defence I think its true my father didn't always give you the fullest information to understand things, and used to tell us "we had to read his mind".
 
But he did trust alot

Warrigal said:
Perhaps he was warning his children not to be too trusting in a world that often brings let downs?
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Well, I think my father felt the opposite actually, and he trusted all kinds of people and didn't get let down so much, so sorry a bit of a contradiction there, though not totally unexpected maybe, for someone regularly telling you to "Read his mind" :D
 
That business about men dressing up as women to escape from the Titanic sounded just a little bit dubious to me. How likely is it, when on a sinking ship in the freezing North Atlantic in the middle of the night and surrounded by general panic, that anyone would even have the time and inclination to go to such Machiavellian extremes? I just didn't buy it. So I checked with Snopes, and found this very interesting account:

https://www.snopes.com/history/titanic/woman.asp
 

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