Single women, single men after 55, as well as other "groups" that have some wisdom to share..

Denise1952

Denise1952

Well-known Member
Location
Crescent City, CA
Single women, single men after 55, as well as other "groups" that have some wisdom to share..

..would be welcome.

I am a single lady, for many years now, and I still think "sometimes" that I would like a fella in my life. For those similar to me, I mean that would consider a new mate later in life, this is especially a thread for you. Others are more than welcome to share of course, and add bits, maybe even share their meeting someone later in life.

I think it might be fun to talk about "the battle of the sexes" or just "how do you meet someone", and maybe "did you" and have it be successful. So that opens it up to married couples too. Everyone has their own, unique life, some similarities as well that we share.

Christmas is the hardest time to be alone, but I've found talking with folks about these things helps me a lot, and even can give me hope when I find a couple that is meeting up later in life, and truly enjoying being a part of a couple again, or maybe for the first time.

Maybe this will just be a free-4-all, and hopefully, some fun mixed in, VERY welcome by the way. Like to pay attention to more serious sides of topics, but it is always a joy to have someone come up with a joke about it;)

just a few ideas for some wanting to share, but not sure what;)

What type of man/woman would you be willing to date?
Are you more accepting of others short-comings, or less?
Do you think you could not possibly meat someone you right for you at this age?
And what about mistletoe, when you see it do you wonder if anyone is around you would be willing to kiss?

These are just ideas, and probably not that good, so come up with any of your own material.

One last comment about this, and I think older folks make much better "play the field" type from what I've seen. More so then young people, LOL! Older fellas seem to want what they want, but like to move on to the next lady that they spot;) May be a good reason for that.

We can also get into the "age" of those we might date. Ok, toss the "note in the bottle" out there and see who finds it;)
 

CindyLouWho said:
Hey Denise, I'd be up for this....might be interesting.....:confused: I think:)
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Thanks Cindy! I thought it might be fun, especially just to talk about it with folks that feel the same. I was yacking with the gals downstairs and one told me she has a friend that is 68, or older now, since. But she met a fella that she saw at a class reunion, here in Crescent City. And they got married:)
 

I keep my eye out for a financially independent, fully clothed, plus one with a car and a place of their own.

It would be nice to have someone to hang out with and do things with but so far all I've met are people with more flaws, baggage and idiosyncrasies than I'm willing to deal with.

I'll continue to keep my eyes open but I'm not hopeful and I'm not willing to settle at this point in my life.

"Que sera, sera Whatever will be, will be The future's not ours to see..."
 
Excellent thread. I was quite content to be single, although I have always had close male friends. Never bargained for Philly, I mean, a Taoist monk? Lulz. Neither of us were looking for love, but here we are. Once the protracted immigration bs is finalised, we will marry and set up housekeeping here on southern Vancouver Island.
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
1. He must have his own place to live.
2. He must have his own car to drive.
3. He must have his own income.
4. He must have a sense of humor.
5. He must be tolerant.
6. He must live in the present.
7. He must NOT be clingy.

Yeah. I'm picky.
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Hey Georgia, you have my list, LOL!! I know for a fact if I'd been more picky/careful in picking the men I did, I would not be alone. I'm not going to settle for less now.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I keep my eye out for a financially independent, fully clothed, plus one with a car and a place of their own.

It would be nice to have someone to hang out with and do things with but so far all I've met are people with more flaws, baggage and idiosyncrasies than I'm willing to deal with.

I'll continue to keep my eyes open but I'm not hopeful and I'm not willing to settle at this point in my life.

"Que sera, sera Whatever will be, will be The future's not ours to see..."
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That's what I would be up for, just dating, and actually having a guy that remembers how to "court" a gal. The jokers on dating sites seem to think they don't even have to put on a clean shirt or comb there hair, or at least polish their heads;)

Now to be fair, some gals don't work very hard at presenting themselves, at least not in these dating profiles I've seen. I think their for the birds, dating sites I mean. Rather meet a guy in the produce section, especially if he's shopping organic, LOL!! Clean cut, there is such a thing;) still;)
 
Just want to say also, that a man that is pickie, is attractive imo, and also has the same wants in a woman as Georgia listed. Another "hard to find" man, is a humble one. And I imagine that's also true for finding a woman that is humble. People that know how to apologize without an excuse attached, and one that can admit they were wrong.
 
I realized a few years ago that I will be single the rest of my life, and I'm happy with it. I put up with things during my dating years that I would not tolerate now, and I like my life the way it is.

GeorgiaXplant, good list. My friends and I decided on the job (income), car, place to live a long time ago, but your additions are very good. One I would add is not being too close to his family. I just watched a friend get burned because her ex's family don't want him to have a woman, and they interfered until they broke up.
 
Aunt Bea said:
That is a great point!

I know a couple of widowed folks who seemed to find happiness with another person late in life and their adult children put them through hell over it.
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Been there done that ladies. Never again, I have as much respect for the other people in a man's life, but when he takes a wife, she moves into at lease 2nd place. Actually, I think it should be 1st place, but that's up to him, can he trust me? Has he picked well???
 
Denise1952 said:
Been there done that ladies. Never again, I have as much respect for the other people in a man's life, but when he takes a wife, she moves into at lease 2nd place. Actually, I think it should be 1st place, but that's up to him, can he trust me? Has he picked well???
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That may well be the problem. Some families may be concerned about their inheritance, or they may be afraid their place in his life will be taken over by the newcomer.
 
Smiling Jane said:
That may well be the problem. Some families may be concerned about their inheritance, or they may be afraid their place in his life will be taken over by the newcomer.
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Yes, and depending if he picked a good, honest woman, it could be sad if they were more concerned about their "inheritance" than his happiness. Money does rule the majority of the world though doesn't it??
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
1. He must have his own place to live.
2. He must have his own car to drive.
3. He must have his own income.
4. He must have a sense of humor.
5. He must be tolerant.
6. He must live in the present.
7. He must NOT be clingy.

Yeah. I'm picky.
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I'd be content if he still had a pulse. I'm increasingly suspecting that the Spousal Equivalent is dead and nobody but me has noticed it yet - LOL.

I know a couple of widowed folks who seemed to find happiness with another person late in life and their adult children put them through hell over it.
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Thank goodness, neither his sons nor my daughter give a damn what we do. That would involve way too much effort on their parts. My granddaughter is happy for me and likes him. My great-granddaughter thinks he's the best thing since squeaky toys.
 
Ha. I'm not alone. I wanted to add another but couldn't think how to word it: 8. He must NOT be so involved with his kids/g'kids that he either has no time for me or expects me to be as involved with them as he is.

As for kids who don't approve of a parent's new relationship? Well, it's my considered opinion that when our kids become adults, it's not up to us to APPROVE of their choices about anything, merely to ACCEPT that they make their own decisions. We should expect no less from them.

Threats by children to abandon their parent(s) because they don't approve? Um. No. All it means is that we have (unfortunately) raised selfish and self-absorbed children who are more concerned with what they want than with their parents' happiness. Jealousy is an extremely juvenile emotion...an adult who exhibits jealousy is an adult suffering from a case of arrested development.

What we feel for a partner and what we feel for children are NOT the same thing. Loving one doesn't exclude loving the other. They're simply different kinds of love. For instance, we love our pets; it doesn't mean we love our partners or children less.
 
Well said Georgia. I know guilt enters into it too, and sometimes a person with a new wife or husband neglects the other because they are trying to make things up to their kids. A false sense of guilt, or morbidly dwelling on it is harmful to a new relationship too. That's all part of the baggage I suppose.

I read a dating ad one time, by a fella and he wrote: I want a woman that has no baggage. I remember laughing to myself, and wrote about some funny "dating ads" I'd seen in my time. I wrote about the ad saying that he probably can't handle a woman with baggage because he hasn't room for more than he's already accumulated himself.
 
Denise, somebody with no baggage is somebody who's led an extremely uneventful life, minus family and friends, minus interesting work, minus any interest in anything (much less another person), and likely uneducated and ignorant to boot. In short, a no-baggage person is either lying or boring, and it's a surprise he hasn't bored himself to death. Sounds like someone who could benefit from a long-term stay in a residential treatment center. Very long term.
 
AZ Jim said:
At a certain age there's a lot to say for companions rather than "love interests".. Love could come but a good and trusted friend living with you can make life worth the effort.
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If two people aren't friends first, I don't see how they can end up love interests. Too many relationships started off as "great sex" and then, later down the line, figured out they weren't even friend material for eachother. I had a good and trusted friend and loved her like a sister because I knew she was a true friend.
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
Denise, somebody with no baggage is somebody who's led an extremely uneventful life, minus family and friends, minus interesting work, minus any interest in anything (much less another person), and likely uneducated and ignorant to boot. In short, a no-baggage person is either lying or boring, and it's a surprise he hasn't bored himself to death. Sounds like someone who could benefit from a long-term stay in a residential treatment center. Very long term.
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LOL, agreed Georgia;) I expect people to have baggage, and it's really about how they handle their baggage that counts I think;) Like, move your dang bags so I can fit mine in too!! :giggle:
 


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