A guest/roommate who will not leave - what would you do?

This guy may have squatter rights now. this person is no friend hes taking advantage of everyone. he needs to go. were I live squatters seem to have lots of rights and getting rid of them is not easy. google says: There are no “squatters rights” in Tennessee, but there is adverse possession. again check the laws in your area, maybe even speak to the sheriff.
I doubt that adverse possession applies to friends who will not leave, especially since the son once gave permission for the friend to use a room. I never heard of adverse possession being asserted about one room in a house.
 

I am definately leaning towards this guy having mental illness. Put his name on the list of subsidized apartment complexes in the area. If he has issues, he will need someone to assist in filling it out. You do not need any income for this, it's 30% of your income for rent. He sounds like a sick & depressed guy who needs professional help. To find a solution which doesn't require the severing of the relationship is best.
Another idea is to buy him or loan him a camper or something to live outside the house in the driveway, possibly. Then tell him his former room will be rented out soon. Townhomes often do not have much land so this might not be viable
Personally, I don't think it would be a good idea for the son to enable this guy by buying him a camper, etc. In the first place, that's a lot of money, and in the second place, I doubt the son wants to take the guy on to support for life.
 

OneEyedDiva

Senior Member
Location
Nrw Jersey
Maybe your son can find him a place to stay in a shelter. Not ideal but how much longer can he put up with this thoughtless ingrate? Things like this is what makes people hesitant to help others. I have a friend who tried to help an out of work child actor (who appeared in a T.V. show). He took advantage of her kindness and she finally had to ask him to leave. I think she came home one day and he was gone. Then he proceeded to talk trash about her on social media. Total ingrate! I hope your son can resolve this issue even if it requires getting legal counsel.
 

Aneeda72

Senior Member
That sounds good. Move out and tell the friend he has until the end of the paid month to find another place to live. Of course, it could depend on whether your son signed a lease or is paying by the month. A lease would keep him there until it runs out. But, the lease date would become a final date that the 'guest' had to move somewhere else.
Perhaps your son could speak to someone with Social Services to get some advice and even some help, both mental and financial, for his friend.
Except if son moves out and the friend is left, and does damage, the son is responsible for the damage.
 

Luv2Cycle

New Member
Location
California
Personally, I don't think it would be a good idea for the son to enable this guy by buying him a camper, etc. In the first place, that's a lot of money, and in the second place, I doubt the son wants to take the guy on to support for life.
I think it's too late for that regarding enabling nor do I necessarily agree that is what it is in this situation. You are assuming his roommate is well, this I doubt. Therefore there is not enabling. Many of these people if the shoe were on the other foot, would do this much and maybe more for their friend

The camper wouldn't be a gift to the room-mate, just an area he can sleep in.

It's baby steps in the right direction and may spur him to finding other housing without ruining the friendship
 

Luv2Cycle

New Member
Location
California
Son owns the townhouse. Ah, Social Services - thanks again. When I read that, after having lived in TN, I realized that I know someone retired from there that surely would have some suggestions to navigate that office. In my experience however, they are usually more interested in young women with children than grown men with issues but I will e-mail her today and see where it gets us. Will keep you posted.
I believe this is correct. The best you can do is get his name on some kind of subsidized housing and wait.
You mentioned SSI so that is a program for the disabled which is not easy to get into. Doesn't sound like this guy is bad but he at least needs to find somewhere to stay part of the year. Baby steps in the right direction so he can somehow surivive somewhere at no cost. Seniors often like to have a male around, at no cost, living in their property just in case of an emergency or do assist with some male type tasks which arise. I wish your son good luck, this is rough
 
I think it's too late for that regarding enabling nor do I necessarily agree that is what it is in this situation. You are assuming his roommate is well, this I doubt. Therefore there is not enabling. Many of these people if the shoe were on the other foot, would do this much and maybe more for their friend

The camper wouldn't be a gift to the room-mate, just an area he can sleep in.

It's baby steps in the right direction and may spur him to finding other housing without ruining the friendship
The OP said the son can't afford to support the guy much longer. So he should be able to go out and buy a nice camper for the guy to live in?

And of course it would be enabling -- it would be allowing the guy to continue to mooch and not try to find solutions for himself. I don't think it is right to expect the son to carry the guy forever. He isn't family, after all, and apparently has done nothing to either earn his keep by helping out around the house or to try to stand on his own two feet. His long term welfare is not the son's problem.

IMHO, the son should get the guy out of there and then do a serious check on his own boundaries. Helping out a friend is well and good, but that doesn't mean the son has to be his meal ticket forever. There is a point where the son has to take care of himself and his own well-being. Three years is more than long enough to help out someone who will not attempt to help himself.
 


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