Am I having wicked thoughts?

[hearlady]

@hearlady Honestly, I am good with it now, I just needed to talk it out, rationalize it and look at the whole picture and go the best route.
In the end whether it's simple or complicated it does not effect my love for each of them or my relationship. If it's a private secret to her, that's on her, all I had was a time of suspicion no facts so let it be is the best option. The bible says "Thou shall not kill" you can kill people in more ways than physically. There is mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I can't go there with this.

Yes, I could tell you were good with it. That last reply was for me to process my thoughts. I'm wicked private.

 

[MaidMarian]

My daughter did the DNA test with 23 and Me. We adopted her. She was abandoned at birth and we had absolutely no information about her background and thought it would be a good idea. We were especially concerned about any health problems that might show up.
The test was fine. Nothing unusual showed up snd we found that her heritage was French and German.
Recently; however, we read that 23 and me sold all of their data to another company and this is very concerning to us as we were told that all of the data was private info.

 

[Della]

If I'd live in the US I'd have absolutely no problems if my ancestors had slaves or not. The children and grandchildren are not responsible for the actions of their ancestors. Much less are the great grandchildren and relatives more far away.
Edit: I just discussed it with my wife and she disagrees.

I firmly believe that. My sister-in-law did a lot of ancestry work a few years ago and found some people who seemed to have been pillars of society and some who seemed to be ignorant idiots (one helped to judge whether or not a certain woman was a witch or not.) I felt a little dismay over that but not shame and I didn't take any pride in the accomplishments of the "good," ones. I give myself neither credit nor blame for anything they did.

I do wish Irish Eyes's DIL had been a little more subdued in her reaction. Because she over-reacted that little niggle of suspicion will be there even though it won't effect her love for her granddaughter -- it's there. And it may be over nothing more than the DIL had just watched a Dateline episode where the criminal was caught through the DNA bank and so DIL was just against the whole thing.

We've had some huge misunderstandings in my husband's family, started by people who "never gossip," while dropping little hints that cause others to imagine things far worse than the facts they aren't saying.

 

[Della]

I was contacted by a couple cousins on an Ancestry site, who were trying to figure out how we were related. They seemed quite upset about it. Their uncle would have been a first cousin to my father. We could not figure out exactly which relative had the affair in the 1910’s. What was most interesting was how indignant they were about the whole thing. I thought it was funny. BTW, they are very religious, so maybe that was part of it.

I do have one famous ancestor, which the ancestry site confirmed. I was told he was my relative (5th-gg) when I was a child, but had forgotten about it. He wasn’t Washington or Lincoln, so to my young mind, so what. He was a founding father though, with a memorial next to the 14th St bridge (DC) complex. One of the spans is named for him. Along with Madison, he is considered a father of the Bill of Rights. Yes, I am quite proud of that. Human rights are very important.

I think I know who he is. I like his college. You should be proud!

 

[AnneTeak]

i threw the kit away after i heard the company (23andMe) went out of business and read "what's going to happen with the genetic data it has from millions of people? Even if the company goes under, that data could change hands. That may surprise some customers." whatever happens to me in sickness and in health, i will deal with it.

 

[JustDave]

I was contacted by a couple cousins on an Ancestry site, who were trying to figure out how we were related. They seemed quite upset about it. Their uncle would have been a first cousin to my father. We could not figure out exactly which relative had the affair in the 1910’s. What was most interesting was how indignant they were about the whole thing. I thought it was funny. BTW, they are very religious, so maybe that was part of it.

I hope they didn't blame you being the source of their shame. You know, like the sins of their father's brothers, cousins, and whatever.

 

[StarSong]

I was contacted by a couple cousins on an Ancestry site, who were trying to figure out how we were related. They seemed quite upset about it. Their uncle would have been a first cousin to my father. We could not figure out exactly which relative had the affair in the 1910’s. What was most interesting was how indignant they were about the whole thing. I thought it was funny. BTW, they are very religious, so maybe that was part of it.

I had a similar experience when trying to track down the errant DNA. Interestingly, the male cousins I reached out to were interested, helpful and found it somewhat amusing, as did I. The females reacted similarly to your cousins and quickly cut off contact. Too funny.

Do you feel guilty of the eradication of a great number of the Red Indians in your country?

Do you think the Australien people of today feel guilty of the extinction of many aboriginees?

Why should you or they?

I feel regretful about what happened to our indigenous populations as well as former slaves, and guilty that their lives continue to be far more difficult than Whites and Asians.

I strongly support giving disenfranchised groups a hand up with taxes and DEI policies. Through no fault of their own, they've had far less opportunity than most voluntary immigrants.

The US and its early colonizing countries have millions of gallons of blood on our hands.