Am I having wicked thoughts?

IrishEyes said:
@hearlady Honestly, I am good with it now, I just needed to talk it out, rationalize it and look at the whole picture and go the best route.
In the end whether it's simple or complicated it does not effect my love for each of them or my relationship. If it's a private secret to her, that's on her, all I had was a time of suspicion no facts so let it be is the best option. The bible says "Thou shall not kill" you can kill people in more ways than physically. There is mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I can't go there with this.
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Yes, I could tell you were good with it. That last reply was for me to process my thoughts. I'm wicked private. 😁
 

My daughter did the DNA test with 23 and Me. We adopted her. She was abandoned at birth and we had absolutely no information about her background and thought it would be a good idea. We were especially concerned about any health problems that might show up.
The test was fine. Nothing unusual showed up snd we found that her heritage was French and German.
Recently; however, we read that 23 and me sold all of their data to another company and this is very concerning to us as we were told that all of the data was private info.
 
George1959 said:
If I'd live in the US I'd have absolutely no problems if my ancestors had slaves or not. The children and grandchildren are not responsible for the actions of their ancestors. Much less are the great grandchildren and relatives more far away.
Edit: I just discussed it with my wife and she disagrees.
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I firmly believe that. My sister-in-law did a lot of ancestry work a few years ago and found some people who seemed to have been pillars of society and some who seemed to be ignorant idiots (one helped to judge whether or not a certain woman was a witch or not.) I felt a little dismay over that but not shame and I didn't take any pride in the accomplishments of the "good," ones. I give myself neither credit nor blame for anything they did.

I do wish Irish Eyes's DIL had been a little more subdued in her reaction. Because she over-reacted that little niggle of suspicion will be there even though it won't effect her love for her granddaughter -- it's there. And it may be over nothing more than the DIL had just watched a Dateline episode where the criminal was caught through the DNA bank and so DIL was just against the whole thing.

We've had some huge misunderstandings in my husband's family, started by people who "never gossip," while dropping little hints that cause others to imagine things far worse than the facts they aren't saying.
 

EmptyCup said:
I was contacted by a couple cousins on an Ancestry site, who were trying to figure out how we were related. They seemed quite upset about it. Their uncle would have been a first cousin to my father. We could not figure out exactly which relative had the affair in the 1910’s. What was most interesting was how indignant they were about the whole thing. I thought it was funny. BTW, they are very religious, so maybe that was part of it.

I do have one famous ancestor, which the ancestry site confirmed. I was told he was my relative (5th-gg) when I was a child, but had forgotten about it. He wasn’t Washington or Lincoln, so to my young mind, so what. He was a founding father though, with a memorial next to the 14th St bridge (DC) complex. One of the spans is named for him. Along with Madison, he is considered a father of the Bill of Rights. Yes, I am quite proud of that. Human rights are very important.
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I think I know who he is. I like his college. You should be proud!
 
i threw the kit away after i heard the company (23andMe) went out of business and read "what's going to happen with the genetic data it has from millions of people? Even if the company goes under, that data could change hands. That may surprise some customers." whatever happens to me in sickness and in health, i will deal with it.
 
EmptyCup said:
I was contacted by a couple cousins on an Ancestry site, who were trying to figure out how we were related. They seemed quite upset about it. Their uncle would have been a first cousin to my father. We could not figure out exactly which relative had the affair in the 1910’s. What was most interesting was how indignant they were about the whole thing. I thought it was funny. BTW, they are very religious, so maybe that was part of it.
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I hope they didn't blame you being the source of their shame. You know, like the sins of their father's brothers, cousins, and whatever. :)
 
EmptyCup said:
I was contacted by a couple cousins on an Ancestry site, who were trying to figure out how we were related. They seemed quite upset about it. Their uncle would have been a first cousin to my father. We could not figure out exactly which relative had the affair in the 1910’s. What was most interesting was how indignant they were about the whole thing. I thought it was funny. BTW, they are very religious, so maybe that was part of it.
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I had a similar experience when trying to track down the errant DNA. Interestingly, the male cousins I reached out to were interested, helpful and found it somewhat amusing, as did I. The females reacted similarly to your cousins and quickly cut off contact. Too funny.
George1959 said:
Do you feel guilty of the eradication of a great number of the Red Indians in your country?

Do you think the Australien people of today feel guilty of the extinction of many aboriginees?

Why should you or they?
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I feel regretful about what happened to our indigenous populations as well as former slaves, and guilty that their lives continue to be far more difficult than Whites and Asians.

I strongly support giving disenfranchised groups a hand up with taxes and DEI policies. Through no fault of their own, they've had far less opportunity than most voluntary immigrants.

The US and its early colonizing countries have millions of gallons of blood on our hands.
 
EmptyCup said:
I was contacted by a couple cousins on an Ancestry site, who were trying to figure out how we were related. They seemed quite upset about it. Their uncle would have been a first cousin to my father. We could not figure out exactly which relative had the affair in the 1910’s. What was most interesting was how indignant they were about the whole thing. I thought it was funny. BTW, they are very religious, so maybe that was part of it.
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That's like what happened to us, my father was considered a bastard, because my grandmother never married his father. We were to find out that she was a "Common-law" wife and that he had messed around with another woman besides his married wife.

And before my younger sister cut off contact, she did tell me that the family that had been original before him catting around want no part of the other two families he created.
 
Born_To_Lose said:
I know of a few felons that were convicted thanks to their DNA being on one of the ancestry sites.
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We also had a suspect in a murder case that we tried getting his DNA surreptitiously for almost a month, but finally gave up. He moved to Ireland and we then asked his daughter if she would contribute a sample, which she did, but she also told us he submitted a sample to one of the ancestry sites. After giving them a warrant, they took their good old time in giving us the printout, but in the meantime, his daughter’s DNA came back as being a relative of the killer.

Even though that would have been good evidence, the DA wanted the real deal, which we finally got from the ancestry site after we served them with a warrant and it was an exact match. The ancestry site decided to ask the court for an injunction while they filed for a hearing as to why they didn’t want to give up the suspect’s DNA. They stated before the court that by doing so, it could bring harm to their business if they handed out DNA samples of their clients, their clients would lose confidence in their security, which in turn would be a loss of business. The judge took almost 2 weeks before reaching a decision to sign the warrant.
 
Before I knew my Fathers side of our history I only knew of my Mom's side and it was quite clear it was Irish and DNA and genealogy proved it.
The Irish were not treated well at all, in fact maybe worse because they were not a commodity. Not worth a penny. But they rose above it, didn't let it hold them down and don't dwell on it or teach it to the children. I had no idea until I read on the net about it. I think rising above something and becoming a crucial part of change for the better feels much nicer and gives a person more to be positive about. I have Choctaw in my heritage and they were not treated well by both whites and native tribes also but I wasn't taught that by my Great Grandmother, when asked about it she simply said "Our ancestors took care of that, we must live on and be better"
 
jujube said:
Some of my ancestors (maternal side) owned slaves. Some of my ancestors (paternal side)  were slaves.

So, there's a conflict. Feel guilt or inflict guilt? To add to the mixture, there's some Native American ancestry, too.
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jujube, if you, yourself wouldn't own a slave and haven't currently or in the past owned a slave, I think you're good. The past was theirs to bear.
 

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