And then, the fight started

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A man and a woman had been married some time when
the woman began to question her husband. "I know
you've been with a lot of woman before. How many were there?"
The husband replied, "Look, I don't want to upset you, there
were many. Let's just leave it alone." The wife continued
to beg and plead. Finally, the husband gave in. "Let's see." he said
"There was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine..."
(that's when the fight started)
 
Wife is standing before the mirror: "Oh my God, look at me! I'm fat, everything's sagging, my hair is turning gray and my wrinkles have wrinkles. I'm so depressed! Say something to cheer me up!"

Husband: "Well, your eyesight is still good."

Visitation is Tuesday from 2-5. Funeral will be held at 10:00 a.m. on Wednesday. In lieu of flowers, donations to the Foot-in-Mouth-Disease Foundation will be appreciated.
 
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. He was a DWARF!!!



He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!!!”


So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”


And then the fight started…..
 

An armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank
and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On
his way out the door with the loot one brave Irish
customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the
robber's face. The robber shoots the guy in the head
without hesitation!
He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has
seen him.

One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the
robber walks over and calmly shoots him in the head
also. Everyone by now is very scared and looking down
at the floor.

Did anyone else see my face?' calls the robber.

There is a few moments silence then one elderly
gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and
says:

'I think me wife may have caught a glimpse ....'

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