Anyone have a strange relative? story about my uncle wally.

Has anyone ever had that strange relative that the family talks about and just shakes their heads and wonder why he or she were, well, different.

We had a so called strange relative that I found to be fascinating. My Grandmother told me the story of my Uncle Wallace.

Wally the Weird, as some of our relatives called him due to his rather colourful lifestyle.... fought in world war one where, according to Uncle Wally, he singlehandedly captured a hill overlooking the allies and captured 12 enemy soldiers. The fact the enemy soldiers had been drinking all night might have assisted Uncle Wally in the capture.

After the war, he got into rum running whatever that was and became rather rich in the import/export business. Not sure what it was he imported and exported but whatever it was it was very lucrative. He claimed he was friends with one Alphonse Capone...Big Al he called him...And through Big Al purchased ( quietly) beer for all his friends and, as it turned out, customers who paid a pretty penny for the beer. He also said he knew King George V....met him at a pub in London where the King would go to get away from the Wife....

His wanderlust was never ending and he seemed to always be in some exotic country running an unknown business which eventually, once again according to my Gram, led him to leave which ever country he was in rather quickly.

He would appear home once in a while, each time with a different woman on his arm each one from a different part of the world. It was, according to my Gram, like the League of Nations. As far as remembering their names my Gram told me she started to write the names down on a pad but eventually gave up....Too many names and not enough pages, apparently.

Uncle Wally tried to enlist in the armed forces when WW2 started but was turned down due to his age. He was highly insulted. He decided to do something and he announced he was leaving to fight those damned no good nazis. So he packed a bag and disappeared going off, we assumed, to win the war. And, that was the last we heard of Uncle Wally.....For about four years. Then one day there was a knock on the door at my Gram's house....I was there visiting her for the weekend and I ran to answer the door. And there stood this imposing figure. It was Uncle Wally with, as usual, a very exotic woman.....The following hours were to a very young kid so exciting as Uncle Wally described his adventures while I sat on the lap of that very exotic lady friend of Uncle Wally. Her name was Suzy and I was smitten...But I digress.....

Anyway, after some time and other adventures Uncle Wally eventually decided it was time to settle down and find a place where he would be comfortable. He bought a large piece of property in Northern Ontario, built a rather large home and settle in there. He also erected a rather high fence to keep out the riff raff, as he so delicately put it. I assumed he didn't like visitors. Other than my Gram, my Aunt Irene and, of course, me.

Uncle Wally. What a guy.
 

Has anyone ever had that strange relative that the family talks about and just shakes their heads and wonder why he or she were, well, different.

We had a so called strange relative that I found to be fascinating. My Grandmother told me the story of my Uncle Wallace.

Wally the Weird, as some of our relatives called him due to his rather colourful lifestyle.... fought in world war one where, according to Uncle Wally, he singlehandedly captured a hill overlooking the allies and captured 12 enemy soldiers. The fact the enemy soldiers had been drinking all night might have assisted Uncle Wally in the capture.

After the war, he got into rum running whatever that was and became rather rich in the import/export business. Not sure what it was he imported and exported but whatever it was it was very lucrative. He claimed he was friends with one Alphonse Capone...Big Al he called him...And through Big Al purchased ( quietly) beer for all his friends and, as it turned out, customers who paid a pretty penny for the beer. He also said he knew King George V....met him at a pub in London where the King would go to get away from the Wife....

His wanderlust was never ending and he seemed to always be in some exotic country running an unknown business which eventually, once again according to my Gram, led him to leave which ever country he was in rather quickly.

He would appear home once in a while, each time with a different woman on his arm each one from a different part of the world. It was, according to my Gram, like the League of Nations. As far as remembering their names my Gram told me she started to write the names down on a pad but eventually gave up....Too many names and not enough pages, apparently.

Uncle Wally tried to enlist in the armed forces when WW2 started but was turned down due to his age. He was highly insulted. He decided to do something and he announced he was leaving to fight those damned no good nazis. So he packed a bag and disappeared going off, we assumed, to win the war. And, that was the last we heard of Uncle Wally.....For about four years. Then one day there was a knock on the door at my Gram's house....I was there visiting her for the weekend and I ran to answer the door. And there stood this imposing figure. It was Uncle Wally with, as usual, a very exotic woman.....The following hours were to a very young kid so exciting as Uncle Wally described his adventures while I sat on the lap of that very exotic lady friend of Uncle Wally. Her name was Suzy and I was smitten...But I digress.....

Anyway, after some time and other adventures Uncle Wally eventually decided it was time to settle down and find a place where he would be comfortable. He bought a large piece of property in Northern Ontario, built a rather large home and settle in there. He also erected a rather high fence to keep out the riff raff, as he so delicately put it. I assumed he didn't like visitors. Other than my Gram, my Aunt Irene and, of course, me.

Uncle Wally. What a guy.
@moosehead I really enjoyed hearing about Uncle Wally! Thanks.
 
I wish I had an Uncle Wally as I do love a good story teller. I did work with a Navy Chief Warrant Officer who led a pretty wild life, especially after he retired from the Navy: Bush Pilot in Alaska, Gold Prospector, Detective.
My family was pretty sedate by comparison.
 
A strange relative? Nope. All of them were or are strange. So am I...I'm one of their relatives.

The only story I can think of right offhand is that a couple of my sisters were in Gramma and Grampa's attic one rainy morning looking through all the old tintypes and other photos. One of them asked Grampa why all the pictures were in black and white. Grampa told her because there were no colors in the olden days, only black and white. She believed him and was in about the 7th grade before she discovered that he was just putting her on.
 
Then of course there was my Aunt Irene. A real looker in her day, dressed way to provocative, according to my Gram. She...My Aunt....Had quite a few boyfriends in her time. Also, extremely sports minded too. Swimming, tennis and softball. Also, quite the bridge player. Loved dogs, cats and had a parrot named Hank.
 
My brother is a dirtbag. He has felony convictions for fraud. He's been a thief his whole life & he doesn't seem to have a conscience.
When I was 16, I saved up money I made working & bought a car. I planned to go out & my car wasn't there. My brother took it, picked up some friends & went on a surfing trip. He brought the car back with cigarette burns & trash. I regret not calling the police - he was over 18 at the time & would probably have been charged with grand theft.
Our parents got him a perfect business - auto repair. Our father appeared with him in court every time someone sued him - which was at least once a month.
Even when he was convicted of fraud & sentenced to a year in jail, our parents spent a fortune in appeals & kept him out. They even bought him houses & found 3 of his 5 wives....
Our mom was an abusive, raging witch & my sister thinks she let him get away with things because of guilt - she may have hit him in the head or dropped him & caused a brain injury; maybe that's why he had no conscience.
I'd frequently make by dad LOL by asking him for DNA proof that my brother & I were biologically related. And also asking him, "What the hell were you & mom thinking? Were all the pharmacies out of condoms?"
Can anybody here top that?
:LOL:
 
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Can anybody top that?

Yes but I didn’t realize it was a contest.
Besides which I’d feel like I was rattin’ out by posting stuff about family. Funny stuff is one thing but serious stuff is something completely different.

Since dealing with my family I’m realizing that most families are somewhat dysfunctional. Our brains malfunction just like other body parts and most families have members who are special in some way or another.

In our family, of course, that would be me 🤪🥳
 
My dad's cousin would hitchhike from the Mental Hospital and show up at our house during the summer. He was an interesting guy as long as you didn't make him angry. Then the s--t would hit the fan and it was time to take cousin John back home.
 
I am the weird one of the family, they always say to me, gees your weird..

Some day I'll tell you about my DNA test results, and my Grandma
 
My grandfather. He couldn't read. So every November, he collected his grandkids and headed for the cemetery, We got the names of people, who died during the year. Then he voted and voted and voted. I remember the day he knocked on our door, with a race horse. It was a beautiful, shiny black animal, and he just wanted to keep it in our back yard for a day or two. It was kind of sketchy where he got it. DAMN! My mom said no. He was always on a scam. For instance, he had a little company selling man hole covers. His main job was driving a steam roller for the city, which ensured that there would be lots of cracked and broken man hole covers to be replaced. He took 8 grandkids to the county fair. He got the ticket seller so confused that we all got in for free, and he made $5 in the deal. This is just a tiny bit of what my grandfather did.
 
LARA'S POST; (about the third post on page 1) of the lady dressed in purple captures the intent of this poem:



When I Am Old.
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pension
on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals,
and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
And run my stick along the public railings,
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
Or only bread and pickle for a week,
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats
and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
And pay our rent and not swear in the street,
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me
are not too shocked and surprised,
When suddenly I am old
and start to wear purple!
 
This must be multiple choice, my mother's brothers 2, were drunks and jailbirds; four of the five sisters were drunks. My mother and one sister were shrews.
I can't decide which group or which individual was the worst.
 
There was my Uncle Bum. He got that nickname when he was a kid, and nobody knows why. Unfortunately he was an alcoholic. There is a huge swath of my family, who have the disease. He was never married, well, legitimately, or well, way too legimately -take your pick. He was a good soldier, got lots of commendations, and made Sgt. numerous times, but he was also a good time Charley, who always got busted down to PVT. for his antics. He was stationed at an Army post in Pearl Harbor. He was there when the base was attacked on Dec 7,1941. He acted extremely bravely during the attack, for which he was given commendations, medals and the rank of Sgt. Of course, he was busted later. He was stationed all over the world, and left a girlfriend/wife whatever on every post. Unfortunately, alcoholism brought an extremely early death..
 
My mother was actually the weirdest person in my family. On Halloween, she would put on my father's topcoat, pull an old hat down to cover her face, and go to the neighbor's doors to see if they could guess who she was. Mother thought she could sing and play the violin much better than she actually could. When she pulled out the violin and sawed away on it with much "body English," you were supposed to listen in rapt attention. The slightest hint of a giggle would offend her greatly. Mother drank like a fish, and had a collection of exotic beer cans. Following my father's death she'd frequent bars to flirt with old men, and in her 80's was actually denied further alcohol at one of them to the bartender's credit...
 
My mother was actually the weirdest person in my family. On Halloween, she would put on my father's topcoat, pull an old hat down to cover her face, and go to the neighbor's doors to see if they could guess who she was. Mother thought she could sing and play the violin much better than she actually could. When she pulled out the violin and sawed away on it with much "body English," you were supposed to listen in rapt attention. The slightest hint of a giggle would offend her greatly. Mother drank like a fish, and had a collection of exotic beer cans. Following my father's death she'd frequent bars to flirt with old men, and in her 80's was actually denied further alcohol at one of them to the bartender's credit...
She sounds like a fun lady!
 


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