Are you happy, (rather personal question I know, but not to be taken too seriously!)?

grahamg

Old codger
Here is some research on what makes us happy:

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/who_is_happiest

Quote:
"...we tested whether students’ relationship status is associated with their happiness, and examined how this association might differ across genders. Some past research has suggested that females (versus males) show lesser increases in happiness from being married, though that was not evident in our data."
 

I am happy and I believe my wife is happy as well. My wife is under tremendous stress caused by her place of employment. My role, now I am retired is to support her during this time more than in our marriage.
This means life is not about me, it is about us getting through life the best we can.
I look forward to when my wife and can concentrate on each other without work causing a distraction.
 
I wouldn't call myself 'Happy' but I'm sort of content with my lot, right now, there's nothing that I need materially ( plenty that I'd like tho', such as a newer car:) ) ... I just wish I could force myself to be more social and meet new people for outings / coffee or a beer etc'
I don't feel lonely, as such, I don't mind my own company but I get rather bored with it.
 
No. I fractured a bone in my hand. Mom may have a serious thyroid issue which should have been dealt with last year but the doctors kept canceling her appointments due to the pandemic. Someone vandalized my car. In New England, New Hampshire and Conn. are repealing their mask mandate this month, but not MY state (of course ), and BF is in FL again. 😥
 
I sure try to be, some days more successfully than others.
I'm fed up with doom and gloom merchants telling me that everything I like is bad for me and/or the planet.
Pay them no mind, or don't let it bother you anyway. What others think of you is a lot less important than what you think. Its one thing I am pretty good at, happier for it.
 
I’m very happy.

I have a personal motto “I make my own happiness” which I firmly believe. We aren’t guaranteed happiness. No one can or should be charged with the task of making us happy. It comes from within and has nothing to do with personal possessions or whether or not we’re in a relationship or have a new car or make a lot of money.

It’s not the result of accomplishments either. That old saying “happiness is a journey, not a destination” is SO true!! Sure, we all feel transient happiness when we accomplish something, but then what? For me, there’s a let down unless already embarked or at least planning my next accomplishment. I enjoy the process every bit as much as the end result, even when I’m impatient for it....like finishing our kitchen! 🤣
 
Down inside me is a core of pure happiness, but I get out of touch with it sometimes. When I'm around people it gets cloaked except if I am only around comfortable co-equals. I have a lot of fear/resentment/anxiety about bosses. I also make myself unhappy if I say critical things about others (though sometimes it makes me happier if it results in finding out that a coworker is also driven nuts by the same person).
When I'm home alone or outdoors my happiness bubbles up, then I go around the house singing (very off key) a narration of what I'm doing. My dad used to do that when I was young and it irritated me so much, but now I turn out to be just like him, ha ha.
 
I'm a very happy person
It can nay be helpt
It just bubbles up from within

But

I'm at my very happiest when I can help someone
Be it a few words
Or lifting something into a persons car

Listening to a favorite hymn also makes me happy
Might be more joy than happy....

mr happy 2.jpg
 
Here is some research on what makes us happy:

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/who_is_happiest

Quote:
"...we tested whether students’ relationship status is associated with their happiness, and examined how this association might differ across genders. Some past research has suggested that females (versus males) show lesser increases in happiness from being married, though that was not evident in our data."
for the most part i am.
 

Are you happy?


Oh yes, absolutely ecstatic, Graham. I knocked my best cup off the table with my elbow, bent over to pick up the pieces and the back seam in my trousers split upto the waist, then the electricity went off and the film I was recording failed. It always happens in threes. :)
 
Existence is a strange thing, so is happiness.

For most, being a slave and spending a good portion of your life struggling and being someone's whipping-boy or whipping-girl is reality, so is struggling to afford things in life, making sacrifices and compromises to move up in the world to afford that home of your dreams, that vehicle of your dreams, possibly building a little nest-egg for oneself.

For those lucky enough to be able to retire at an age where one still has a little time on their side, often by that point one is too old, tired, and beat-up to embark upon any sort of real journey, so ones last days/years are spent at home (often inside), and then the end comes.

In speaking for myself, life has never felt complete, I mean truly complete. I can't put my thumb on what exactly is missing, but there's just something that's not there.

Am I happy? Well, I have both good days and bad days, days where I can take life, and days where I could care less about life, more days where I could care less to be honest. Do I wake each morning and jump up and clack the heels of my shoes together and holler yippee, because life is so grand? No. Are there pleasures in life that make me crave more? Sure, but let's face it, at this point and stage in our lives, we've all but used up what borrowed time we were given, and to all who say that life begins after retirement, rubbish!

Life began when we were born, our best years were when we were young, we had no aches and pains, we had no boundaries, no restrictions or limitations (health/physically), we were without debt and bills and pressures, we enjoyed bounds of energy, that was life, not in one's 60 and 70's, when some people can no longer even tie their own shoes or jog around a city block.

Happiness? What is happiness? Working until one is age 60, 65, 70, even possibly beyond so that one can afford to live? Making payments on a home for 25 or 30 years to call it your own, when in actuality one never owns their home (or anything else in life). To prove that we never own our homes, one just needs to fall in arrears for 2-3 years on their property taxes, and then tell me again who owns what.

So from cradle to retirement we spend a good 3/4's of our lives slaving and toiling away, yet in the end what do we have? I have yet to come across a single soul that has managed to find a loop-hole in the system that allowed them to take their riches to the grave with them, so why all the hard work in life, and who exactly are we working for? Happiness? Not in my books it's not. Being a slave and answering to someone for the first 60 (or more) years of ones life does not equate to happiness to me, nor does it equate to happiness for my husband, or a majority of others I have engaged in this very same conversation over the years.

I've watched my husband claw his way out the door now for the better part of 40 years (bless him), and while he's retiring at the end of this year (age 60), and is fit as a fiddle, statists are clear on the matter, for a majority, 16 whole years awaits us after retirement, and that's if your lucky, and that doesn't guarantee good years. Happiness? 16 years out of ones entire life to start enjoying life again as though you were a kid again, after spending 60 (or more) years of it under the thumb-screws and direction of someone else? Hardly happiness in my books.

For the 1% who love their jobs, good for them, but that isn't reality for the other 99%, the 99% I know of and talk to, where they see nothing rosy, happy, or thrilling about throwing away the first 60 (or more) years of their lives to get a measly 16 years back.

To put that into perspective, based upon living until one if 85 years of age, the reward after a lifetime of hard work is a measly 13.6% return, that's what the average person get's back in life after spending (investing) the first 60 (or more) years under the control of others. I'll spare you the grim facts as to those that don't even get to enjoy 13.6%, but my guess is they'd have very little (good) to say about happiness if they could reply to this topic.

I've asked my husband, "would you do it again"? His answer to me was a resounding no. Is my hubby happy? Sure, he's as thrilled as me.
 


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