Can't be alone with a woman?

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C'est Moi said:
I think those suppositions are taking this to the extreme. In today's world, just the HINT of impropriety can ruin a politician's career. Taking steps to avoid any possible misunderstanding is being smart, IMO.

Oh, and the last time I had an appointment with a male gynecologist, there was a female nurse in the room at all times.
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I agree that a gynecologist (male or female) should have a third party present. But, as just a person in 99% of the circumstances I feel needing a third party present is ridiculous on many levels. I have a woman here in my home one day a week. She cleans, does laundry etc., but we have hours where we have conversations. We respect one another and nothing happens other than two people conversing about many things all decent.
 

AZ Jim said:
I agree that a gynecologist (male or female) should have a third party present. But, as just a person in 99% of the circumstances I feel needing a third party present is ridiculous on many levels. I have a woman here in my home one day a week. She cleans, does laundry etc., but we have hours where we have conversations. We respect one another and nothing happens other than two people conversing about many things all decent.
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Oh buddy. I really hope everything stays cool with this woman, if she gets it in her head that you might have enough money to make it worth her while to accuse you of improprieties. You are in a vulnerable position, given recent events in your life, unfortunately. You may discount the scenario I mention, above, but, believe me, it has happened to other guys, I'm positive. I would NEVER have any woman, alone in my house with me, who wasn't a relative or my gf. Times have changed. Litigious people are everywhere, looking for vulnerable folks, to sue.
 
AZ Jim said:
I agree that a gynecologist (male or female) should have a third party present. But, as just a person in 99% of the circumstances I feel needing a third party present is ridiculous on many levels. I have a woman here in my home one day a week. She cleans, does laundry etc., but we have hours where we have conversations. We respect one another and nothing happens other than two people conversing about many things all decent.
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Are you running for office?
 

This lady also works for a friend across the street (he's in his mid90's). She is a very nice lady and I am not the least worried about her. I'd hate to live in a world where I couldn't be with someone (male or female) without worrying about it.
 
Trade said:
I think he's quite Talibanesque in his thinking.
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Touchy subject

Hopefully not touchy feely

One afternoon a lady in upper management came into my office….. and closed the door

I hadn’t been VP of Operations for all that long

She broke into tears

I think she was assuming I’d give her a hug or something


She was a looker

I just sat there

After about five or ten minutes of her sobbing, and saying something unintelligible
(hard to define when folks get that sob hiccup thing goin’), I asked her if she felt better

Got a nod

She carefully dabbed around her eye makeup…and left

Me?

I grabbed my clubs and got the heck outa there

I can negotiate in closed door conference rooms with the hardest core pros all day

But that kinda ‘conference’?

I have no idea

It gets treacherous
 
When I was teaching, I had a student teacher assigned to me. She wanted to tell me all about her failed marriage and troubles with alcohol. I told her that we needed to keep our conversations about work. She was visibly po'd.

A week went by, and it was time to grade notebooks. I asked her if she would come in on Saturday morning to work on the notebooks with my wife and I. I told her I'd give her Friday off. The next thing I know, she disappeared.

A week later my coordinating professor called me. He told me that she had requested a different teacher because I was coming on to her, sexually. WHAT??!!

This was decades before #MeToo. She was angry because I wouldn't listen to her personal life stories, and struck out the only way she thought would impact me, in some negative way. Nothing happened to me, but, even thirty years later, I still think about how I'd like to confront this liar, and call her out for trying her bs.

The baseless charges made against a person, because another person has been spurned, one way or another, have been around forever. Thing is, the internet now helps put ideas in the minds of folks, folks who might never come up with a given scheme on their own, and some of those ideas and schemes can lead to very unfortunate outcomes.

Be careful, AJ.
 
AZ Jim said:
I agree that a gynecologist (male or female) should have a third party present. But, as just a person in 99% of the circumstances I feel needing a third party present is ridiculous on many levels. I have a woman here in my home one day a week. She cleans, does laundry etc., but we have hours where we have conversations. We respect one another and nothing happens other than two people conversing about many things all decent.
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We all draw our own lines of what is acceptable or unacceptable but it's always good to understand the possibilities and acknowledge the risks involved in our decisions. It wasn't too long ago that people didn't think it was necessary to have a third party present when meeting with people like Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, or Les Moonves.

"Nothing is ever a problem until it becomes a problem." - mathjak107
 
Oh, and the last time I had an appointment with a male gynecologist, there was a female nurse in the room at all times.
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Yes, that rule has been in use for many years now, at least in this country. But that only applies to a specific type of exam, not to every interaction between two
people. As I asked before, what about the worker who comes to your house to fix something, do some painting, etc.? What about a man who has a cleaning lady come to the house? What about visiting a doctor or psychologist, for reasons other than a gynecological exam? What about two people in a workplace setting? What about having a female coworker?

And even if the other person is of one's own gender, how do you know they are not gay? What then?

Do the excesses of the $MeToo movement really warrant insanity like this? Should we just return to medieval times, or as someone has suggested already, let the Taliban determine how our lives are run?
 
Sunny said:
What about a male doctor with a female patient? Or a female doctor with a male patient? What about a psychiatrist? What about the fellow who fixes your washing machine or your air conditioning unit? Must he bring along a "chaperone" on every job, just in case the woman is alone in the house?

This level of insanity could bring modern life to a screeching halt.
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One of my very dearest friends was a male doctor...he passed away a few months ago sadly. We even dated for a time, and were dance partners for years. He was one of my favorite people.

One of his unbreakable rules is that he was never alone in a room with a female patient with the door closed. NEVER. He tried never to be alone with a female patient, period, but certainly never with the door closed. He'd step out and ask one of his nurses in. Occasionally he had a female patient who would close the door after he'd left it open, and he'd quietly re-open it. If the patient required privacy he would always get a female nurse first.

He said that he'd heard the stories from so many of his male counterparts of being accused of sexual harassment or other similar accusations that he was just never going to put himself in that position. That perhaps he was being overly cautious, but he'd far prefer that to having to battle a lawsuit and it ruining his practice.

In this day and age, i don't think you CAN be too cautious. We have become a litigious society, and that's very sad.
 
He sounds a bit paranoid to me, Ronni.

Should lawyers, accountants, etc. also enforce this kind of rule? Must every human interaction be fraught with visions of sexuality, and (shudder) protecting oneself against sex-related accusations?

Sorry, to me this is an extreme example of overkill. By imposing such a rule on oneself or others, the person is causing everyone to keep thinking of, and fearing, sexual temptation, even when it is the farthest thing from the other person's mind. Sort of like "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."

So far, no one has answered my questions about all the other everyday situations where we might find ourselves alone with a person of the opposite sex. How on earth can normal, modern life exist in a fearful environment like that?
 
Sunny said:
He sounds a bit paranoid to me, Ronni.

Should lawyers, accountants, etc. also enforce this kind of rule? Must every human interaction be fraught with visions of sexuality, and (shudder) protecting oneself against sex-related accusations?

Sorry, to me this is an extreme example of overkill. By imposing such a rule on oneself or others, the person is causing everyone to keep thinking of, and fearing, sexual temptation, even when it is the farthest thing from the other person's mind. Sort of like "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."

So far, no one has answered my questions about all the other everyday situations where we might find ourselves alone with a person of the opposite sex. How on earth can normal, modern life exist in a fearful environment like that?
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I'll answer: YES. We have become a litigious society, and the leeches out there, the #MeToo hustlers, have made it necessary to constantly be on guard.

Yeah, ALWAYS have a third party present, if possible, when dealing with ANYONE, behind closed doors.

I regularly pierced women in a closed exam room. Nipples, labia, clit hoods, I did it all. That was fourteen years ago. Now, given our present political climate, there's no way in hell I'd get back to that business, unless, in addition to my liability waiver, each client signed an additional agreement to never pursue legal against me for any perceived improper actions, of a sexual nature, on my part.

I'm an ace contract writer, so I could make an agreement like that work, as tricky as the wording would be.
 
You can get carried away with the third party thing. I doubt that we would want videos of our mothers giving affidavits, stating that they were about to have legally consenting sex with our fathers. Yet, in the political arena, taking some precautions is prudent, while I think this particular candidate is using this as an "issue" for political gain.
 
I think the reporter is doing what this guy was trying to avoid. Causing the politician problems he doesn't need. I come to this conclusion because in this thread there are various replies condemning the politician. Why condemn him? Just by her blowing this out of proportion, if I were a suspicious guy I could easily suspect the reporter of being ready to claim inappropriate behavior by this politician.

If anything having an agreement with his wife shows strength of character & commitment to their marriage.
 
From the article

Foster’s stance has been adopted by other married men in public life, and has sometimes been called “the Billy Graham rule.” Vice President Mike Pence has made a point of not having a meal with an unaccompanied woman. Even men without a public reputation to defend, such as business executives, have adopted it as a precaution to avoid the risk of a false accusation of making a sexual advance. But it has led to a backlash on the part of women who contend that it hinders them professionally — in holding meetings or in seeking mentoring from men.

How many posting here are seeking political office?
How many expect to be vice president someday?
How many here have a high paying position to defend?

In today's litigious society is there anyone posting here that could have their lively hood ruined by an allegation really not going to take precautions to keep that from happening? This isn't about everyday people that have nothing to lose if accused. Best example I can think about
Would there be national media coverage if AZ Jim was accused by his cleaning lady? Other that AZ Jim Would anyone care?

I applaud this couple for not fearing what society thinks about how trusting each other and not trusting a person of the opposite sex works in their marriage.
 
Knight, you can applaud all you like, and since it is (still) a free country, people can run their marriage any way that suits both of them.

But, being that this guy is a Republican candidate for governor in a red state, I wonder how sincere any of this nonsense is, and how much is just pandering to his "Christian" base?
 
What's happening here now is that men are paying for what other men have been doing for a long time and getting away with it because women were not believed. If your fellow men have always behaved toward women with respect then there wouldn't have had to come to this type of paranoia, and it is crazy sad.
 
Sunny said:
Knight, you can applaud all you like, and since it is (still) a free country, people can run their marriage any way that suits both of them.

But, being that this guy is a Republican candidate for governor in a red state, I wonder how sincere any of this nonsense is, and how much is just pandering to his "Christian" base?
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No need to apply your own bias to this man's character. Adding politics to the discussion will only get the thread closed. As you said, it's still a free country, though there are those who are working hard to end that freedom.
 

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