Christmas Alone

Feelslikefar said:
We lost our oldest Son in January of 2021 .
Our youngest was in another state visiting his future in-laws, so it was just the DW and Myself for Christmas.
The oldest lived just next door and I kept waiting for him to come over and help set up the tree.
Thought I'd been through some tuff holidays, but this one was the hardest.
Wife and I just seemed to go through the motions for Christmas.
We hugged a lot.
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My deepest condolences on the loss of your son. Frankly, I applaud you and your wife’s strength for doing Xmas at all this year. Sending thoughts of strength and healing your way. I so hope 2022 brings something positive to you both. 🤗
 

Tabby Ann said:
I have found this as well. Most people don't want to know the real problems or wisdom that comes with aging because they can't face their own mortality. They want the aged and infirm to put on the pretense of being young and healthy and not in need of anything so they don't have to provide anything including empathy or understanding. And this isn't just very young people. It is sometimes senior citizens who just haven't reached the turning point in their decline yet.
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Thank you so much for bringing up that aspect of aging. This forum helps.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I told my doctor that I was not putting on a new Libre2 sensor until after January 1. I am having treats, in moderation, ice cream, pie, Xmas candy, carbs, sesame balls, I LOVE sesame balls; and my blood sugar can take a flying leap-which it has 😂. Gone up quite a bit.

My doctor said “well, then, shall we skip your A1C test?” YUP. 😂
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What is a Libre test?
What is a A1C test?
 

Autumn72 said:
What is a Libre test?
What is a A1C test?
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I believe a Libre test would be a test with a Libre2 sensor to check blood sugar level.

An A1C test is an occasional test to see what your blood sugar level has been over a period of time — usually 3-6 months, I believe.
 
Vida May said:
Your thoughts are insightful. I had not thought the problem is a concern for their own mortality but that makes sense. I was always attracted to older people. I expected them to know more and to be able to teach me something. I have always loved listening to their stories about the past.

When I read your words, immediately I got wanting to deny our mortality is what is going for at least one granddaughter. She is an excellent institutional cook but during a recession, she was out of a job and I suggested she apply at places for seniors and she recoiled.

She said she did not like old people and eventually that included me. She has reached the age where we all revaluate our lives and she pushed away the whole family to work on her independent identity. Seeing the bigger picture softens my heart. Being human is not easy. Thank you for your insight.
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This is so true!
I am having all the rejections, ostracizing galore anyone can experience from their estranged offspring that can be felt in one lifetime.
I agree with you about the mortality issue. For where they all are is where they can only feel from as their physical look that being older is not and never what they want to see ever.
Now here is another angle of seeing this all about the growing up dilemma angry that they are in a situation of having the responsibility to pull for the additional dependents etc. While finding out their marriage is not what they had hoped for and life gets very hard to do while some are alone just for themselves.
It use to be families stuck together until the government jumped in to build high Risers so adult children could run around working (tax payers) taking care of children, getting dumped by husband's, or ignored by them, or busy having affairs.
Grandma would had been near or living with at least one of them and was respected by the grandchildren because they were taught to include grandparents noticed when children are adults they are buried into their life daily never to include their parents into their world. As Myself my mother never saw her mother and myself also as mom's mother had issues with my mother and this made her selfish to gain her teenage years back that she lost getting pregnant which made xmas at my home after marriage only with who I married. Mom had a whole regiment of children by then and a full affair for years while being married. I guess she was the boss of the house.
Not all I know do not have marriages that are weird yet many do and some are not lucky to have had a good marriage.
I sure wish someone would write a book on their 5 star blessings for others that had no training in how 6hese blessings are found out by clues vital to us all.
I mean no offense what so ever
 
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Vida May said:
Your thoughts are insightful. I had not thought the problem is a concern for their own mortality but that makes sense. I was always attracted to older people. I expected them to know more and to be able to teach me something. I have always loved listening to their stories about the past.

When I read your words, immediately I got wanting to deny our mortality is what is going for at least one granddaughter. She is an excellent institutional cook but during a recession, she was out of a job and I suggested she apply at places for seniors and she recoiled.

She said she did not like old people and eventually that included me. She has reached the age where we all revaluate our lives and she pushed away the whole family to work on her independent identity. Seeing the bigger picture softens my heart. Being human is not easy. Thank you for your insight.
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That is not funny though it brought a thought to me of how I went searching for my daughter Brooke who was going to hairdressing school at the time. Very beautiful she is....then she was 18. And taking a break out back a smoke and she said to me they are forcing me to do an old lady and I don't want to. I think she must had quit. Anyway this is so sad. She herself had the style haircut given her probably by the other girls on training. She looked absolutely beautiful. And I do not exaggerate her beauty was wasted on a matthrew jannell 8n Florida dumped her like last years swill.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
This made me think of something my son said that surprised me. He told me it was hard to see his grandmother in the nursing home. They had a very strong bond and he was her heart, as she was his. I told him I hope he can handle it when I get older and possibly need assistance, though it's unlikely I'll have to go to a home (at least I hope not). He's my only child and even though his ex, my honorary daughter (and mother of two of my grandchildren) said she'd also never see me go into a home, she's not well herself. I also have 5 grandchildren...all but one are adults. We are a loving, close knit family but I realize young people have so much to deal with in this world just to maneuver life these days.

Also, my honorary son wrote a rap song (I call it soft rap) about 30 years ago about Ms. Sabrina....a (fictional) old woman he met on a bus who he was anxious to learn more from. He lamented that other young people such as himself didn't take advantage of the wisdom she imparted and did not view the elderly as valuable members of society. My son produced the track but it was never released for airplay.
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Maybe the government protects their tax payers to not be influence by parents and grandparents why is this respect stamped out for us older wonderful people Maybe it's I see with different eyes
 
Autumn72 said:
Maybe the government protects their tax payers to not be influence by parents and grandparents why is this respect stamped out for us older wonderful people Maybe it's I see with different eyes
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That is something that really concerns me. I believe when the federal government decided to drop liberal education in favor of education for technology, it also ended respect for our elders who were no old-fashioned and outdated. I think the young were taught they would be smarter than the older people because of technology and the new education for technology.

Disrespect is so common, and when I said schools need to teach respect, a woman said you can't make the young do anything. What a terrible attitude! We make them sit still and do school work several hours a day 5 days a week. The young are doing what the school requires of them. I think if this included being respectful, it would happen.

But that would mean putting the classics back in the school library and taking the trash reading out of the library. It would include using the words Mister, Misses, and Miss establishing a separation of adults and children.
 
Autumn72 said:
This is so true!
I am having all the rejections, ostracizing galore anyone can experience from their estranged offspring that can be felt in one lifetime.
I agree with you about the mortality issue. For where they all are is where they can only feel from as their physical look that being older is not and never what they want to see ever.
Now here is another angle of seeing this all about the growing up dilemma angry that they are in a situation of having the responsibility to pull for the additional dependents etc. While finding out their marriage is not what they had hoped for and life gets very hard to do while some are alone just for themselves.
It use to be families stuck together until the government jumped in to build high Risers so adult children could run around working (tax payers) taking care of children, getting dumped by husband's, or ignored by them, or busy having affairs.
Grandma would had been near or living with at least one of them and was respected by the grandchildren because they were taught to include grandparents noticed when children are adults they are buried into their life daily never to include their parents into their world. As Myself my mother never saw her mother and myself also as mom's mother had issues with my mother and this made her selfish to gain her teenage years back that she lost getting pregnant which made xmas at my home after marriage only with who I married. Mom had a whole regiment of children by then and a full affair for years while being married. I guess she was the boss of the house.
Not all I know do not have marriages that are weird yet many do and some are not lucky to have had a good marriage.
I sure wish someone would write a book on their 5 star blessings for others that had no training in how 6hese blessings are found out by clues vital to us all.
I mean no offense what so ever
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You might really enjoy this video. We marry the wrong people. Well, they are actually the right people, but because we do not understand how quirky we are, we do not have a good grasp of our reality and how to manage it for our benefit. This video can help.

 
hollydolly said:
Welcome to the forum... where do you call home ?

You've come to the right place , there's many here who will be alone at Christmas this year...


welcome-santa.gif
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I'm gonna tell Lanny that you said "There's many" instead of "There are many."
😁
 
Aneeda72 said:
I told my doctor that I was not putting on a new Libre2 sensor until after January 1. I am having treats, in moderation, ice cream, pie, Xmas candy, carbs, sesame balls, I LOVE sesame balls; and my blood sugar can take a flying leap-which it has 😂. Gone up quite a bit.

My doctor said “well, then, shall we skip your A1C test?” YUP. 😂
Click to expand...
What I do on those celebration days is test a couple of hours after those goodies & take extra insulin if I'm over 350.
If you're not using insulin, just be careful - anything over 500 can mean the ER for ketoacidosis. When that happens, you won't be able to keep anything down. If you're mildly diabetic, it's unlikely, but.....
 
The Three Rings of Marriage

1) - The Engagement Ring
2) - The Wedding Ring
3) - The Suffer- Ring

+++++++++++++++++++++


Doctor: "I have horrible news, you only have six months to live."

Patient: "That is terrible! What should I do?"

Doctor: "You should get married."

Patient: "Get married? What are you talking about? With only six months to live? Why should I get married?"

Doctor: "You see, if you get married....that six months? It will FEEL like a lifetime..."
 
Packerjohn said:
That really sucks; I mean being alone at Christmas time. I live alone but my daughter is coming out and we have invites here and there and will be busy like crazy. Your post reminds me of that rather sad Hank Williams song. "May You Never Be Alone Like Me." I sing it regularly with my guitar. There is no one who could ever sing that song like Hank Williams. You can keep your rap and your heavy metal; I'll stick with Hank until the day I die.


May You Never Be Alone
Written and recorded by Hank Williams


Like a bird that's lost its mate in flight
I'm alone and oh so blue tonight
Like a piece of driftwood on the sea
May you never be alone like me


I believed the lies you told to me
When you whispered dear I worship thee
Now here am I alone and blue
All because I loved no one but you


I gave up my friends I left my home
When you promised to be mine alone
Now you're gone our love could never be
May you never be alone like me


In the Bible God's own words do say
For every wrong someday you'll pay
I pray the Lord to set me free
May you never be alone like me
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Hmm someone else who strums the guitar from time to time. I've an original Kamouraska handmade. Had to have the neck repaired circa 96. I've replaced the strings in order to take the pressure off. Must admit that since son died in 2017, haven't touched even the electronic keyboard either. Nice to meet a fellow musician.
 
Irwin said:
You should record it and post it so we can hear you play.

I used to like to play You Win Again... another Hank Williams classic.

Here's the Grateful Dead doing a most excellent version...

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Thanks but if the truth be known, I prefer Hank's version. Hank had that sincere, tearful, honest and sad voice that when he sang you really felt that he lived that song. Not many singers can do that. I read some where when a band member tried to get fancy with their instrument, Hank would always turn to him and tell him to stop and keep it simple. I think we could all learn something from that in our mad, fast paced going to hell society that most of us are living.
 
hollydolly said:
...she's coming, it's not a matter of not being vaccinated.., we went out for lunch last month . I'm double vaccinated and there's only going to be me here... it just beggars belief that she won't say when. I think she'll leave it till the day before to let me know.. and then I might just forget to bake the palmiers..
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She might like to feel important. !
 
I spend Christmas alone by choice. Spending it with others is "too much" for me. Too much food, too much noise, etc. I try to treat it like any other day, even though (annoyingly) it isn't.

Often, people invite me out of pity so I "won't be alone on Christmas." It just emphasizes that I'm an outsider. I tend to refuse such.

Last year I did go to a nice low-key dinner. I was invited again this year, but I won't go because of all the contagious diseases going around.

Years ago, an older lady related how she was alone at Christmas one year. She got out all the old Christmas cards, etc., she had saved, and reminisced about old times. She said it made her feel better.

@Packerjohn Yup, Hank Williams was amazing. Many try to emulate his emotion and wit, but few succeed.
 
Shalimar said:
My deepest condolences on the loss of your son. Frankly, I applaud you and your wife’s strength for doing Xmas at all this year. Sending thoughts of strength and healing your way. I so hope 2022 brings something positive to you both. 🤗
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Autumn716 said:
Good,Lord, I to have rather spent xmas with someone other than myself. How did you get this idea to be?
I have been totally alone for every holiday and am not a happy camper. With you being 90 and yet found a way forward out of this despair and here I am 72 and can't seem to make it happen to NOT be alone again every time I try to make contact with anyone I find out a wall is up or stonewalling or a lack of messages that are not getting answers for technical reasons whatever it is that is not too hopeful.A cousin in Plano Texas also seems to have the joy of her family to hold on to, tells me all the ways the Holidays are for them.
You must tell me how you brought about you mot spending another xmas alone again. Please, this means the world to me.
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Take comfort from knowing that there are many people who will be on their own for Christmas, I for one. It's not what I want but !
 
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