Dealing with young neighbors or neighbors, period.

Alligatorob said:
Our neighbors are of all ages, young kids to older than us. Some are a bit odd, but I think that just makes things interesting.

One oddity is we live in a small rural town in Northern Utah, all, and I mean all of our neighbors are Mormons but we are not. That works just fine for me, and I knew what we were getting into when we bought here. Mormons are good people and easy for me to get along with. They treat us well. The only problem is that we are yet to be offered a beer or cigar by a neighbor, LOL!
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We used to live around a lot Mormons and Mennonites and got along with well with them.
I was even invited to a church ceremony where I got to ride in a horse ridden carriage , sing in their church and eat a huge meal with them. It was certainly a highlight in my life. Great neighbours.
 

Alligatorob said:
Our neighbors are of all ages, young kids to older than us. Some are a bit odd, but I think that just makes things interesting.

One oddity is we live in a small rural town in Northern Utah, all, and I mean all of our neighbors are Mormons but we are not. That works just fine for me, and I knew what we were getting into when we bought here. Mormons are good people and easy for me to get along with. They treat us well. The only problem is that we are yet to be offered a beer or cigar by a neighbor, LOL!
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"And it was good."
 

It does turn the golden rule on its head.

"Do unto others as you would that they should do unto you".

... or maybe, "Do unto others as they do unto you"?
... or maybe, "Do unto others as they would like you to do unto them"?

Oh, brother! Never mind all of that. I'm nice to everyone unless they do not reciprocate in which case they can get stuffed.
 
niceday7 said:
I live in an apt for seniors but the disabled of any age are also welcome. A young man maybe in his 30's moved into the apt next door to me about 6 months ago. He is not very talkative but from what I can gather he was homeless prior to living here and has some emotional issues. He has an emotional support dog. I happen to know he is struggling financially just by living next to him and knowing a bit about him.

I decided to approach him in a respectful and lighthearted/friendly way to ask him if he wanted a huge amount of plastic bottles one can return to the store for 5 cents per bottle. (I drink alot of diet soda!) In no way did I infer he needed the money or anything like that. It was all done in a manner of one neighbor being friendly to another.

Originally I had put the bottles in a large box where others who live here can see them and put the word "free" on the box. But they hadn't even been out a few hours when I thought of him and how between not working and having a dog, he might like them. So I approached him and asked him. He replied in a dull monotone voice, "Oh, I already saw those". I said something like "You are welcome to them if you would like" To which he replied something along the lines of "You mean the bottles that have to be taken to the store" (said as if that was definitely not to his liking). Not sure of what to say I smiled and told him he didn't have to take them and then he unexpectedly thanked me for them but in a tone of voice that clearly suggested he was not interested but wanted to be neighborly.

There was a time when if someone who was down on their luck had a chance to return some bottles, they would have been grateful. Even though he has fallen on hard times, he was not receptive to a small opportunity to make a few dollars. I have often thought of him alone with his dog and many times have wanted to bring them both some dinner when I have extras. I don't always eat a whole rotisserie chicken!

Since he was kind of not really appreciating my gesture with the bottles, I am now reluctant to offer him a plate at dinner time because he does not seem receptive to friendly overtures. I once made another friendly overture offering to help him with something and he blew me off then too. Does anyone else here have younger neighbors? How does that work for you? I basically get along very well with younger people and do not have a problem with them.
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It might just be more about him than it is about you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had similar reactions others. I always go by their reactions- once I brought a loaf of homemade bread over to a neighbor and she was hesitant to take it, so that told me to give her space and be kind but don’t bring her anything. Let her take the lead and I’ll just be friendly when I see her.
 
Pepper said:
When you gift people, people might think that then they must gift you back and you're putting them in a bad position.

With neighbors, it's best, IMO, to ease in, not to overwhelm.
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An interesting point. It's like compliments too.
 
I live in the end unit of a group of 3, first unit faces the street, 2nd unit is in the middle and my unit is at the end of the driveway with my carpark/garage to the right of my front door ... when the 43yr old neighbour next door moved in ( his carpark is next to mine)

... he'd tell his visitors to park at the end of the driveway, right in front of my front door, this made it very difficult for me to reverse out and I told him so very politely, he said to just knock on his door and he'd move but I shouldn't have to do that as the space is not a designated carpark, it's there to enable me to reverse into, then drive out

...so, then he asked me why I didn't just reverse all the way down the driveway. i told him that I don't like reversing into the road as we're on a very narrow street, near the corner and it was awkward for me ...he was obviously annoyed but hasn't done it since.
We say g'day etc but that's it
 
Aneeda72 said:
It depends on if someone needed the money. There was a time in my life, which I’ve mentioned before, that I collected pop cans from the trash in park. you can not do that now as the park collects them. A great many people only get 550 from SSD. I only get 800 from SSI. 😂 I would have taken those bottles if I had the means to turn them in; AND the half chicken.
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Everything now days is expensive that it would take a ton of bottles to make a few dollars, years ago turning in bottles was worth it.
 
gloria said:
Everything now days is expensive that it would take a ton of bottles to make a few dollars, years ago turning in bottles was worth it.
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Here and where we used to live, there are refundable bottles so even if people throw them out the window, they will be picked up.
It’s smart to make bottles and cans refundable / reusable / returnable. It discourages littering, is more resourceful, promotes a bit of income for the homeless and helps keep our road ditches clean. From how clean the ditches look, I’d say it’s working.
 
win231 said:
Hollydolly got it.
I have a friend who has a 22 year old son with Autism. Most people avoid him because they don't understand him & expect normal conversation from him. Since I'm nice to him & accept him as he is, he'll call me every day & chat about the same thing over & over for an hour.
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I have a friend who fortunately doesn't call everyday, but when she does call it is always the same stories over and over. If I would let her, I don't know how many hours she would talk. Mostly I am only expected to say the occasional "yup", "uhhuh" or "right". She recently lost her husband rather suddenly and so of course I try to give her plenty of time, but after over an hour my bladder starts yelling at me......I really don't want to wet my pants, so I tell her I have to go..and I really do have to "go"! When I am off the phone and out of the bathroom DH will ask, "Did Joanie* have anything different to say?" Nope same old stuff.
Gosh, it makes me wonder if she has something like Autism or related problem rather than just plain ole nuts.

* Joanie is not her name.
 
mrstime said:
I have a friend who fortunately doesn't call everyday, but when she does call it is always the same stories over and over. If I would let her, I don't know how many hours she would talk. Mostly I am only expected to say the occasional "yup", "uhhuh" or "right". She recently lost her husband rather suddenly and so of course I try to give her plenty of time, but after over an hour my bladder starts yelling at me......I really don't want to wet my pants, so I tell her I have to go..and I really do have to "go"! When I am off the phone and out of the bathroom DH will ask, "Did Joanie* have anything different to say?" Nope same old stuff.
Gosh, it makes me wonder if she has something like Autism or related problem rather than just plain ole nuts.

* Joanie is not her name.
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Autism has many levels of severity & also many types. Your friend probably has a milder form of Autism.
 
good neighbors are sometimes not appreciated until they move.....
Had a wonderful lady who lived next to us..she watched the place when we were gone scared off a potential thief one day while i was out etc..
i watched as folks came by when house was for sale and yep they people who bought it are pigs ........They have junk everywhere up late and seem to make tons of noise and have little interest in neighbors ..... i can imagine the immaculate yard will be a junk pile.
I REALLY miss my last neighbor.
 
win231 said:
Autism has many levels of severity & also many types. Your friend probably has a milder form of Autism.
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Yes,I am aware of that , I just never gave that a thought when it comes to Joanie. We just thought she got crazier and crazier, but now I suspect another possibility. She got involved with group therapy some years ago and now thinks she is a psychiatrist as well as knowing more about everything. Here in Canada pot is legal and so we have pot stores all over town. She called our son to wish him happy birthday, he said she spent one minute on that , one minute on her DH dying and then off she went on all her ideas. Among other thing's she informed him that pot can only be sold on Native land. We know there are 5 in town, and one on the local reserve. He actually gave her an hour, which really surprised me.
 

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