Parents who use pain to teach their kids are ignorant parental failures. I often hear people say, "My parents smacked me & I turned out OK." Kids who grow up into decent, non-violent adults are that way in spite of, not because of their upbringing. Such parents are under the delusion that their kids respect them. They are confusing "respect" and "fear." I didn't respect my mother; I feared her.
What I learned from my mother was that it's OK to beat someone as long as you're bigger than they are. Consequently, I was kicked out of two elementary school for fighting & bullying other kids. What she learned was that her kids would start hitting her back when they were her size. And they might not stop. When I was 12, I almost didn't stop, but, luckily for her, I got scared when she started bleeding from her mouth.
The biggest mistake my mother made was having kids. When she died, NONE of her 4 kids attended her funeral; we were too busy enjoying the moment.