Ruby, I am so very sorry about the loss of your daughter, but you allowed God to walk the journey with you and help you understand and healPersonally, I have gotten through many disasters, mental and physical to myself and others, including sorrows, deaths, illnesses, and dangers, through belief in my personal guardian angel as assigned to me by God above, and as taught to me by nuns way back when I was a schoolgirl in a Catholic Convent, which has held me always in good stead, leaving me with the feeling that I never stood alone.
When I lived in Germany in the 60s and was pregnant for the first time, I felt I stood alone with no friends, no blood relations, and only a smattering of the language to assist me. I felt totally isolated and when I was told that at seven months my baby would die at birth, I almost despaired, but, through it all with the help of my guardian angel--a messenger from God--I totally immersed myself in the remaining time I had with my baby girl, talking to her, soothing her, singing to her, reading her poetry, etc., as she jumped and bumped and her little heart was still beating. Consequently, at nine months, when she died at birth, I was resigned to it that it was God's will and meant to be, because, as it turned out, she was a Thalidomide baby and would not have lived a full life.
God is the perfect judge, is always willing to listen, and will take into account everything and all problems that you have.