Do you care whether your family gossip about you or not?

Sassycakes said:
I learned many years ago that anyone even family can gossip about you and say things that aren't always true. My older brother was a great example of that. He was 11 yrs old when my sister was born and 13 yrs old when I was born. From as early as I can remember he said lies about me and my sister especially after he married. I believe it was his problem and not mine. He is gone now so hopefully he finally realizes the pain he caused me and my sister.
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Your brother did that too? Found out later my brother was jealous of me and my relationship with our mom. He had no reason to be, mom and I didn't get on that great. I quit trying to figure out what he was seeing. Sorry you and your sister had to endure that kind of pain.
 

Judycat said:
Your brother did that too? Found out later my brother was jealous of me and my relationship with our mom. He had no reason to be, mom and I didn't get on that great. I quit trying to figure out what he was seeing. Sorry you and your sister had to endure that kind of pain.
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I can't believe how children who are raised by the same parents can turn out so different. When my brother passed away a few years ago he left everything to his daughter and nothing to his 2 sons who were very good to him. He was very wealthy and I can't understand him ignoring his 2 sons. Sad !
 
Well, yanno...it's said that old folks only have three things to talk about: what they had for their last meal, what they're having for their next meal, and whether or not they had a BM today. So gossip away! Anyway, gossip isn't always mean; gossip can be just passing along info like "I took Gramma shopping for new shoes" or "Aunt Boo wasn't feeling well and didn't want to go to church today so it saved me a trip out to her house to pick her up" or "Uncle George hit his thumb with a hammer."
 
To my SIL, every day is a new day to gossip. She thrives on it. Always has. I know I've been the subject of it now and again over the years. There was a time that it bothered me but now it makes me almost feel sorry for her because this is how many people will remember her.
 
Is it arrogant or even narcissistic to worry that others are talking about you?
that you might feature in their conversation. be the main topic even?
life experience has taught me that people do gossip. its naive to think they dont. and if you fall out of the loop they might feel more comfortable raising the issue of your shortcomings
" hypo is a sarcastic bastard"
"hypo spent too long in Asia"
"Hypo has found God now Look out He will try to convert us."
"i mean just look at hypos track record. Hes a classic quitter"
"what a lazy bastard he is. spends all day on the net"
that last is true unfort.
 
I worked in a psychiatric hostel for 4 years. Predominantly female staff. Nasty gossip was a staple food for bored insecure staff who were forever trying to boost their own reputation by dragging down others'.
Im still in recovery. and that was 5 years ago.
 
I expect family has gossiped about me. I'm quite sure they have had good reason.
After all I have lived an unorthodox life, done unorthodox things. Tasted both good
And evil and ignored what some expected of me.
 
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hypochondriac said:
Is it arrogant or even narcissistic to worry that others are talking about you?
that you might feature in their conversation. be the main topic even?
life experience has taught me that people do gossip. its naive to think they dont. and if you fall out of the loop they might feel more comfortable raising the issue of your shortcomings
" hypo is a sarcastic bastard"
"hypo spent too long in Asia"
"Hypo has found God now Look out He will try to convert us."
"i mean just look at hypos track record. Hes a classic quitter"
"what a lazy bastard he is. spends all day on the net"
that last is true unfort.
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But why would you worry about what they think?
 
The people who are closest to me aren't into harmful gossip. There is a certain arm of our family who like to gossip but I don't worry about them. We are pleasant when we see each other and just let it go at that. One big gossip in that part of the family died about 12 or so years ago. They were not only a gossip but a huge liar. They did cause a lot of harm to the family that can never be repaired.
 
Looking back at these answers I see a lot of people expressing surprise.
Surprise that I should worry what my family think of me.
My conclusion is that they have high esteem. High status in their families.
I dont. I dont and it bothers me. If I were totally non status conscious I wouldnt care. But I am. Also when I was younger I did enjoy high status there for a while. From about age 15 to 40. Things looked promising for me. The future bright.
But I didnt quite deliver. And a number of my siblings did much better in their careers than expected. Ive turned out somewhat of a disappointment in this regard.
 

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