Do you have your house in order?

Aunt Bea said:
The only thing missing is a person to act as my advocate while I'm alive and as an executor to close out my estate when I die.

My grandmother always said that angels only appear when they are needed. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if she was right.

"I looked over Jordan, And WHAT did I see ..."

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You could get your attorney to be your medical and fiduciary and also your guardian/ trustee if you want...presuming the attorney is several years younger...lol.
 
Aunt Bea said:
What could go wrong? :rolleyes::cry:;)

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Yup, could be risky to have what might become the power of life and death AND the powers of executor vested in one person who might be construed to have conflicting interests in your demise.

Also, having worked for attorneys for what felt like about 350 years, I seriously doubt that any attorney I've ever worked around would agree to act in both capacities because of the possibility of the appearance of a conflict of interest, unless, of course, said attorney/executor happens to be your mother. and is acting in both capacities pro bono.
 
jujube said:
I'm leaving my collection of single socks to my daughter. My granddaughter gets the change under the sofa cushions. My great-granddaughters can have my partially-finished crossword books and all the chewed pencils.

That's all I plan to have left......
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Amen!!!! I plan to enjoy what I have now. My grown kids can have whatever they find...my piggy bank, money in the bible, etc. 🤣 However if hubby goes before me, I will be fine financially. But I would miss him dearly. We have been married so far, 36 years..
 
OneEyedDiva said:
Ladybj I did it three years ago because a friend who worked in the funeral business told me how much the cost of burial plots was rising. According to what cemetery new use there may also be an additional cost for a vault. So I strongly suggest that you purchase your plots ASAP.
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Hubby has informed me DO NOT spend a lot of money on a funeral for me.. I won't. IMO, fancy funerals are for the living.
 
Sunny said:
Pretty much. I have a special notebook labeled Important Records, in a desk drawer that my children know about. It contains all they will need to know about banks, IRA's, people to notify, etc.

I also have a book that I got called I'm Dead, Now What? It's kind of a ledger with pages to fill in important information for your survivors to know. You can get it online.

So, between the two books, I'm pretty well covered, unless my house (and desk) burn down.
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I may look into getting the book.
 
The will is done, but it needs revision. The living will is done. No one but my husband has permission to make decisions for me if I'm incapacitated. I'd trust the state more than I would his kids. We are to be cremated, but I realize once I'm dead, it really doesn't matter. We won't have funerals. If I die alone and no one finds me for a long time it really doesn't matter. I won't have any more use of the body.

As for the house I live in, it could used a good vacuuming. Grin.
 
Absolutely don’t want any money spent on me other than those few bucks for a minimal cremation.

I need to review a few things in my will just to ensure they’re correct.
 
I have a question for all of you. We have our wills done also and sent a copy to my dad and my younger brother and sister-in-law (they were executors). Next thing I know, both of them are screaming because they didn't like who we were leaving our assets to (not them). I was flabbergasted! I didn't think wills were to be opened until your death! Am I just naive? We have since removed my brother and sister-in-law as executors and told them all to destroy the wills they have. Of course they wanted to know who the new executors are and how we changed our wills. I refuse to tell them! We have now only filed a copy with our attorney and local Probate Court.
 
Phoenix said:
The will is done, but it needs revision. The living will is done. No one but my husband has permission to make decisions for me if I'm incapacitated. I'd trust the state more than I would his kids. We are to be cremated, but I realize once I'm dead, it really doesn't matter. We won't have funerals. If I die alone and no one finds me for a long time it really doesn't matter. I won't have any more use of the body.

As for the house I live in, it could used a good vacuuming. Grin.
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Love your reply, sounds alot like us! Hubby was against being cremated until he found out the average price for a funeral and casket and burial, then he said "He** NO I'm not spending money like that after I'm dead, Cremate me too!"
 
KimIn Wis said:
I have a question for all of you. We have our wills done also and sent a copy to my dad and my younger brother and sister-in-law (they were executors). Next thing I know, both of them are screaming because they didn't like who we were leaving our assets to (not them). I was flabbergasted! I didn't think wills were to be opened until your death! Am I just naive? We have since removed my brother and sister-in-law as executors and told them all to destroy the wills they have. Of course they wanted to know who the new executors are and how we changed our wills. I refuse to tell them! We have now only filed a copy with our attorney and local Probate Court.
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If you sent copies to family members, I don't understand why you are surprised they opened them. The official original will isn't opened until after death, depending of course on the laws of your state.
 
KimIn Wis said:
I have a question for all of you. We have our wills done also and sent a copy to my dad and my younger brother and sister-in-law (they were executors). Next thing I know, both of them are screaming because they didn't like who we were leaving our assets to (not them). I was flabbergasted! I didn't think wills were to be opened until your death! Am I just naive? We have since removed my brother and sister-in-law as executors and told them all to destroy the wills they have. Of course they wanted to know who the new executors are and how we changed our wills. I refuse to tell them! We have now only filed a copy with our attorney and local Probate Court.
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Our attorney advised us not to share with son the contents of the will "in case we changed our minds" about
beneficiaries and/or trustee. We only have one son and we are close with him so that probably wouldn't be a problem. You can check in your state about possibly filing TODs for real estate, and most all other assets in order to avoid probate. We did:

https://www.thebalance.com/what-is-...he firm. The process does not require probate.
 
Liberty said:
Our attorney advised us not to share with son the contents of the will "in case we changed our minds" about
beneficiaries and/or trustee. We only have one son and we are close with him so that probably wouldn't be a problem. You can check in your state about possibly filing TODs for real estate, and most all other assets in order to avoid probate. We did:

https://www.thebalance.com/what-is-a-transfer-on-death-or-tod-account-3505253#:~:text=When the account owner dies, a TOD account,the firm. The process does not require probate.
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It's bad enough the way families fight over your stuff after you're dead; you sure don't want them to be doing it while you are still alive!
 
Ladybj said:
Hubby has informed me DO NOT spend a lot of money on a funeral for me.. I won't. IMO, fancy funerals are for the living.
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I'm Muslim and we don't believe in cremation. We also don't believe in fancy funerals. Everything is simple...right down to the pine box and the funeral service. We're wrapped in white sheets and there is no viewing (exception very close family members can before others are allowed to enter for the service). But we must be buried.
 
Won't be any fights about who gets what and how much.

Going to take it all with me.....might have to book a larger suite, though.

As it stands now.......x step kids benefit.......tough call on my part.......they didn't have any use for me when they were my so called step kids......and still don't.......no contact whats so ever.

It's in the back of my mind, whether i leave the will as is or revise.......tough call, just not sure, see how i feel as time goes on.
 
Nothing says you have to leave it all to them. You can split it many ways. If the money came from their father, it would seem logical to give it to them. Don’t wait too long to make your decisions, just in case. Also make sure you have a respected person for your POA for health. Worrisome thoughts.
 
We're working on it - offices have been closed but I suppose we should get back to making sure we're up-to-date in our new state.

One note to all, from the voice of experience: DO NOT NAME MINOR AGED CHILDREN AS BENEFICIARIES FOR ANY MONEY OR INVESTMENT ACCOUNTS! DH's aunt did that for our sons and we ended up in COURT every year to account for it. (AKA "Gary Coleman Law" after a child actor whose parents spent HIS money) Leave it in trust or to the parents you trust, with instructions that it be used for school tuition or house payment or whatever.
 
Myquest55 said:
We're working on it - offices have been closed but I suppose we should get back to making sure we're up-to-date in our new state.

One note to all, from the voice of experience: DO NOT NAME MINOR AGED CHILDREN AS BENEFICIARIES FOR ANY MONEY OR INVESTMENT ACCOUNTS! DH's aunt did that for our sons and we ended up in COURT every year to account for it. (AKA "Gary Coleman Law" after a child actor whose parents spent HIS money) Leave it in trust or to the parents you trust, with instructions that it be used for school tuition or house payment or whatever.
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Always check to see what the laws are in your state regarding this sort of thing. Probate and estate laws are generally state law and vary from state to state.
 
Butterfly said:
Always check to see what the laws are in your state regarding this sort of thing. Probate and estate laws are generally state law and vary from state to state.
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I am pretty sure that is a national thing! We have seen it everywhere we've been and had to go to court all those places. It is designed to protect children EVERYWHERE. Has nothing to do with probate or estate law and everything to do with the fact it is the CHILD'S money and the parents are prevented from spending it - without the child's permission. If our children were unhappy, for any reason, in how we invested (you have limited options BTW) they could easily SUE us once they turned 18!! Just keep that in mind.
 
I agree with you there, Butterfly! However, the state where the beneficiaries live can also matter. We had to go to court to become our own children's court-appointed-guardians so we could receive $$ from an estate in another state. We had to petition our entire family and prayed that no one would object (they didn't) It is a MAJOR hassle! Easier if the aunt would have told my husband how she wanted the $$ split and left it to him. (of course, she had to be able to trust him)
  • In most jurisdictions, in the interest of protecting the assets of a minor, state law requires that a guardian be appointed to administer the proceeds payable to the minor child.
  • If a guardian is not already in place, your next of kin will have to undergo the time and expense of appointing a guardian to receive and administer the proceeds.
  • Once a court appoints a legal guardian of the minor’s estate, that guardian will control the money for the minor’s benefit until he or she reaches the age of majority, depending on state law.
 
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