Do you think life is fair?

Lewkat said:
As regards to your last sentence, this can be said for almost all societies, no just Americans. Not all slaves are black either.
Click to expand...
Most were not. And of those who were, most were captured and sold by powerful Black men, tribal chiefs with big armies and a lot of clout.
 

Murrmurr said:
Sorry, I just realized that what you disagree with is the part about parents. I have to disagree with your assessment that emotional damage and mental illness parents may cause can be corrected and changed. I don't believe that's always the case. In fact, I think only well educated, experienced therapists can recognize that kind of damage and know how to treat it.

I'll go out on a limb and say that most people eventually learn to cope with their parents' fears and anger and emotional walls that were inflicted on their kids, consciously and not. The problem is that, while some people cope through maturity and understanding, others cope through violence or substance abuse or by building their own walls, and some even become suicidal. And it's a travesty that the majority of those people who get therapy and treatment will more likely than not get it from "professionals" who've had only 9 months of training. The lucky ones will get a therapist with a 2-yr degree in mental health services.

You can find therapists who have 4-yrs of college, or even a university education in mental health, but they are very rare, they're expensive, and they generally do not accept Medicare or Medicaid.
Click to expand...
It takes four years for an undergrad degree and then another two or three for a Master's or Doctorate to become a licensed therapist or psychologist, respectively.

Artificial intelligence therapy bots will take over the industry in the near future. There are already a few out there such as Woebot. They're lame, but as the technology advances, so will their usefulness.
 
SeniorBen said:
It takes four years for an undergrad degree and then another two or three for a Master's or Doctorate to become a licensed therapist or psychologist, respectively.

Artificial intelligence therapy bots will take over the industry in the near future. There are already a few out there such as Woebot. They're lame, but as the technology advances, so will their usefulness.
Click to expand...
I don't think they'll ever be really useful. They can already make it look like they are, but most of that is fakery on paper.
 

Serenity4321 said:
I agree and I could make an argument that death is fair as well..being an equalizer is one of the main reasons. But if there is life after life and some of the theories are correct, there could be an amazing fairness we will only understand in time..
IMO reincarnation seems fair though I do not really hope for it:unsure::)
Click to expand...
Re. Post 91, the quote was Just Daves (post 67) not mine !
 
Sassycakes said:
I was thinking about 2 of my Mom's sisters today. They were my favorite Aunts and not picky like the other 4 sisters. One lived until she was a little over 100yrs old. She was alive when her husband passed away and even when her daughter died.My other Aunt was alive and 101yrs old when her husband passed away and sadly when her only Son died at 20yrs old. That makes me believe life is not fair.
View attachment 267643 View attachment 267644
Click to expand...
Life definitely is not fair. All of life is pretty much the luck of the draw. Bad things happen to good people. Some bad people live long lives and some good people die young. Poor people lose what little they have while rich people get more and more. You can work hard and do everything right and things still turn out bad. Some people put in little effort and do everything wrong and still have things go right.
That's why it's best not to internalize things when things happen. Like why did this happen to me type of thing or like I didn't deserve this. Most people don't deserve what happens to them. It's just life. Just gotta focus on the things that went good. Some people are sad they lost kids at 20 years old, and some people lose their kids when the child is 5 years old. Some people see the death of a husband they were with for 60 years and some people lose their spouse after 1 year of marriage. That's why it's best to focus on the positive spin. Be thankful for the years you got with loved ones. Death is inevitable.
Your aunts actually sound like they lived very blessed lives! Especially living to reach 100 years old! 😇
 
hollydolly said:
I was 18 when my mum died.. that wasn't fair.. My siblings were all younger.. That wasn't fair!

My mum was 39 when she died.. That wasn't fair!

When I left school and went to work 40 hours a week , my father took every penny of my wages .. that wasn't Fair!

My father was a a dangerous violent man who beat us almost daily.. that wasn't fair.

My father beat me up the day I came out of hospital with my 4 day old baby ..that wasn't fair..

My first husband didn't pay maintenance for my daughter when he went off with another woman,.. that wasn't fair..

I had to raise my daughter alone on one wage.. that wasn't fair..

My daughter had to take part-time jobs while still at school to help me pay her way through Music college.. That wasn't Fair!

Loads of things are not fair in this world... Some people get through with hardly a scratch.. and some of us get open wounds. It's the way it is.... :(
Click to expand...
Yup. Not only that, I think everyone suffers some pain, just in different ways. Some people who were orphans and grew up in foster homes or who had no children feel like your life was more fair than theirs. I think everyone is suffering even if they seem like they have it made. No one in this fallen world has it easy. It only seems like some have it easier because we know more about our own struggles than others struggles.
 
Farrah Nuff said:
I don't think that life is fair but I do think it's amazing.
I can't imagine anything else that would give all of the
thrills and chills that life does. Fair also means average
or mediocre but I've enjoyed my life as anything but.
Click to expand...
Yes it is! :love:
Gaer said:
Yes. Every action or thought has results or reaction for the doer and his surroundings.

Death is not a bad thing. It's a wonderful new life for the soul.
Click to expand...
Yup, and a good deal of things we deal with in life comes from other people's decisions. Law makers decisions, people's decision to drink and drive etc.
Nathan said:
Life is not a board game, there are no rules that specifies what's "fair" or unfair. Most people of course would feel that life is much more fair if their lives were filled with more favorable events, and visa versa.
Click to expand...
Exactly. Life just is. The whole concept or thought that life even should be fair is a made up one. Gravity is not fair or unfair, it just is. Nature is not fair or unfair, it just is. You drop a glass and it will break. Nothing fair or unfair about that. It just is. Genetics just is. Some people inherit things that make their life difficult. Nothing fair or unfair, it just is. A lot of people's depression comes from the unconscious feeling that life should treat them a certain way based on who they are or what they do or don't do. And when it doesn't work out that way they get depressed because it didn't happen how they thought it should and it's out of their control. People want life to make sense and be fair, but it's just not that way. Nothing personal. Life just is. I think people can save themselves a lot of emotional pain by realizing that.
You can still aim to work hard and make good decision and live life to the fullest, it's like the lottery, you gotta play to win. You can't just give up. But at the same time just understand nothing is guaranteed.
 
Serenity4321 said:
I totally believe life is fair(y)...or will be 'in the long run'
Of course this means I believe in life after life and if I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that was not true, then maybe I would rethink my position. :unsure:
It makes sense to me that we each have challenges to overcome but why and from where is still a mystery. I also believe we are not given more than we can handle at this time and therefore some have tougher burdens than others...
Click to expand...
I definitely believe in the afterlife. That's where things will be fair. 😇 As a Christian I believe we live in a fallen world which is why life is not fair.
JustDave said:
Maybe the problem is that death isn't fair. But I think I could make the argument is that nothing is more fair than death. It is the great equalizer, and treats everyone the same. It's true that some "deaths" are more painful than others, but I used the quotes, because unequal pain is more a function of life.

Having said all that, I wish all of us the best.
Click to expand...
I think death is fair when you think about the alternative. Living forever in this fallen world. Death is sad and painful for those left behind, but it's necessary to move on from this sinful suffering world. What keeps me going is knowing that something better awaits us in the afterlife. 😇
 
Murrmurr said:
Sorry, I just realized that what you disagree with is the part about parents. I have to disagree with your assessment that emotional damage and mental illness parents may cause can be corrected and changed. I don't believe that's always the case. In fact, I think only well educated, experienced therapists can recognize that kind of damage and know how to treat it.

I'll go out on a limb and say that most people eventually learn to cope with their parents' fears and anger and emotional walls that were inflicted on their kids, consciously and not. The problem is that, while some people cope through maturity and understanding, others cope through violence or substance abuse or by building their own walls, and some even become suicidal. And it's a travesty that the majority of those people who get therapy and treatment will more likely than not get it from "professionals" who've had only 9 months of training. The lucky ones will get a therapist with a 2-yr degree in mental health services.

You can find therapists who have 4-yrs of college, or even a university education in mental health, but they are very rare, they're expensive, and they generally do not accept Medicare or Medicaid.
Click to expand...
I will agree damage can not always be changed but I will stand by saying sometimes, for some, it can be...and therapists are not imo always necessary but can be very helpful in many situations..
 
Nobody promised us a rose garden. You do the best you can with what you've got. Keep your head down, pay attention, work hard, and with purpose, and more likely than not you will succeed in what ever endeavor you pursue.
 
Murrmurr said:
Ok, re: the "just my imagination" part, I was quoting some song lyrics. Just havin' fun with @Farrah Nuff .

As for not dreaming, no, I haven't tried that. For one thing, I have a hard time getting to sleep, so I'm not gonna wake myself up. Even if I tried that, I'd just say WTFH?? and go back to sleep. And for another, I'm not at all curious about it.

I do remember some dreams, quite vividly. They're either very violent in a mass murder sort of way, or they're really weird and unrelatable.
Click to expand...
Understood..lol so you really do not care whether you dream or not or whether you remember what you dream..sorry I assumed you did care...
For me I find dreams interesting but I am very skeptical of those who claim they can analyze and interpret the meanings of dreams. IMO they are expressions from our subconscious working things out for us but who is to say what symbolizes what... 😃
 
Serenity4321 said:
Understood..lol so you really do not care whether you dream or not or whether you remember what you dream..sorry I assumed you did care...
For me I find dreams interesting but I am very skeptical of those who claim they can analyze and interpret the meanings of dreams. IMO they are expressions from our subconscious working things out for us but who is to say what symbolizes what... 😃
Click to expand...
Dream research was an exciting field of study among renown psychiatrists decades ago, and there are studies that show repeating themes, objects, and/or events occurring in the dreams of thousands of subjects who had something in common in real life. Like, let's say 65% of the people whose dreams featured a thorny rose bush were in an unhappy marriage; 54% who dreamed about tooth-loss had a recent death in the family; etc. I made up those numbers just now, but there are actual examples of this, and that's where the claims of symbolism came from.

When the results of these studies were published in journals like Psychiatry Today, American Journal of Psychiatry, etc, con artists started coming out of the woodwork, charging fees to "analyze your dreams." Besides scamming people, they cast a dark shadow over the legitimacy of dream studies and the science behind it. Lots of people still consider it pseudo-science and a total scam, so just about nobody is interested in funding further research.

Because life's not fair.
 
Serenity4321 said:
For me I find dreams interesting but I am very skeptical of those who claim they can analyze and interpret the meanings of dreams. IMO they are expressions from our subconscious working things out for us but who is to say what symbolizes what... 😃
Click to expand...
You should be skeptical, and it's one of the criticisms of Sigmund Freud. At least I've heard these criticisms about his theories, if indeed they were actually his theories. Freud deserves credit for his contributions as a pioneer, but as a pioneer, he may have made some assumptions that were unwarranted, and universal meanings of certain dream symbols was one of them. However, dream interpretation is still useful today just as your second sentence would predict. A psychologist can't interpret anyone's dreams, and a reputable one wouldn't. But since this stuff is generated by our subconscious, it often brings to the forefront of our consciousness in scrambled form, tidbits of useful information about ourselves that we are consciously unaware. There may be some images that are semi universal in nature, but it would be a mistake to assume that these always apply to everyone, and of course, I believe that not all dreams are meaningful. Most could be little more than mental gibberish.
 
Remy said:
If I believed life was fair, I'd believe I deserved all the things that have happened to me. And in reality I do believe it. I can't come up with any other explanation.
Click to expand...
Not everything has a reasonable explanation. All too often, children are victims of the people most responsible for loving and protecting them. Whatever the reason, you were/are in no way responsible for the horrors visited upon you I have this statement written and framed on the wall behind my computer. When I feel as you do, I find reading it helps to ground me. Perhaps something similar might help you? 🤗
 
Sassycakes said:
I was thinking about 2 of my Mom's sisters today. They were my favorite Aunts and not picky like the other 4 sisters. One lived until she was a little over 100yrs old. She was alive when her husband passed away and even when her daughter died.My other Aunt was alive and 101yrs old when her husband passed away and sadly when her only Son died at 20yrs old. That makes me believe life is not fair.
View attachment 267643 View attachment 267644
Click to expand...
Life isn't always fair, but death is unfortunately a part of life. Your aunts seem like they were very nice, friendly and happy ladies, and they lived a very long time, that is very special. Life is not always fair, but I am convinced that Life Is Good.
 
Murrmurr said:
Dream research was an exciting field of study among renown psychiatrists decades ago, and there are studies that show repeating themes, objects, and/or events occurring in the dreams of thousands of subjects who had something in common in real life. Like, let's say 65% of the people whose dreams featured a thorny rose bush were in an unhappy marriage; 54% who dreamed about tooth-loss had a recent death in the family; etc. I made up those numbers just now, but there are actual examples of this, and that's where the claims of symbolism came from.

When the results of these studies were published in journals like Psychiatry Today, American Journal of Psychiatry, etc, con artists started coming out of the woodwork, charging fees to "analyze your dreams." Besides scamming people, they cast a dark shadow over the legitimacy of dream studies and the science behind it. Lots of people still consider it pseudo-science and a total scam, so just about nobody is interested in funding further research.

Because life's not fair.
Click to expand...
Maybe there is some truth in the analysis, but I personally would not count on it...I am not surprised con artists taking advantage...
 
JustDave said:
You should be skeptical, and it's one of the criticisms of Sigmund Freud. At least I've heard these criticisms about his theories, if indeed they were actually his theories. Freud deserves credit for his contributions as a pioneer, but as a pioneer, he may have made some assumptions that were unwarranted, and universal meanings of certain dream symbols was one of them. However, dream interpretation is still useful today just as your second sentence would predict. A psychologist can't interpret anyone's dreams, and a reputable one wouldn't. But since this stuff is generated by our subconscious, it often brings to the forefront of our consciousness in scrambled form, tidbits of useful information about ourselves that we are consciously unaware. There may be some images that are semi universal in nature, but it would be a mistake to assume that these always apply to everyone, and of course, I believe that not all dreams are meaningful. Most could be little more than mental gibberish.
Click to expand...
(y) I think Jung also contributed to trying to understand dreams ...
 
What is true about life is how other PEOPLE and CULTURE unfairly treats specific types of others. Of course, race issues are at the top of that list with physical facial attractiveness another. In my case as a short thin Caucasian male at 5'6" ~135#, all my adult life, taller men have suppressed my life in a long list of ways. And that has often been due to the very strong cultural bias of taller people. Despite such, I have excelled.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top