Drop-ins (unannounced visits)

applecruncher

applecruncher

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Ohio USA
Remember when people just showed up/dropped in for a visit, without calling? Heck, I used to do it and plenty did it to me. "Just stopped by to see how you're doin' "There was a time when it was very common. Sometimes people would show up with their entire family. It was rare for anyone to say "We can't have company right now, we're getting ready to eat dinner". My parents often took us to visit people without calling, and people (usually relatives) did the same to us.

Things changed......now I would be very displeased. No excuse for not calling or texting in advance! People might be in the bathroom, eating dinner, in the middle of a disagreement, asleep, 'busy', getting ready to go out, ......whatever. It's very poor manners to just "show up". :mad:
 

This is so true. When it stopped occurring Im not exactly sure. The ninetees? As kids we walked in and out of each others houses like they were extensions of our own. My parents were especially welcoming though. Our house was like a drop in coffee shop/backpackers hostel. Parents didn't seem to mind. They loved people. "lets sit down and have a cuppa" mentality. And...being a small town, we never locked the house., Amazing when I think about it. I never locked my car either. We never suffered a robbery or stolen vehicle.
 

I lived in the City most of my life until about a year ago. I had many Aunts and Uncles and cousins that all lived close to where I did and I had company all the time and no one ever called first. I didn't mind it in my early years but I wouldn't want it to be that way now. I enjoy my privacy and am not always in the mood for uninvited people.
 
Keesha said:
Yes but now nobody just drops by on me.
They know better.
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Keesha, son always wants to have a crowd present when we come to visit. Its like we are famous old rock stars! Hubby hates that. More than two or three people are way too many in his book. We keep telling son that but he just doesn't get it. So, we don't drop in on him nor encourage him to drop in on us...of course we live out of state so he is forced to check first...lol.
 
Liberty said:
Keesha, son always wants to have a crowd present when we come to visit. Its like we are famous old rock stars! Hubby hates that. More than two or three people are way too many in his book. We keep telling son that but he just doesn't get it. So, we don't drop in on him nor encourage him to drop in on us...of course we live out of state so he is forced to check first...lol.
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Totally get it. After traveling half way across the country by car to visit the in-laws, we were completely exhausted and asked for time to recoup without visitors. Nope. I still had a bath and went to bed though. I’m not good at that pretending stuff.so refused to do it 😅
 
When I was young, we'd always drop by whenever. In fact, there was one trick we'd play on each other. I'd drive to a phone booth around the corner from my friend's place which was 30 miles away & say, "I'll be there in an hour," then I'd knock on his door a minute later.
But I stopped doing that after I found him with my fiancée.
 
Societal behaviors change over time, often so slowly that we don't notice until new habits are well entrenched. My recollection is that the end of drop-in company dovetailed with Baby Boomer women working full-time.

Houses were no longer company ready at all times, and women were no longer desperate for interaction beyond their family members and neighbors. Time off work was precious and highly scheduled - so much to do in those short evenings and weekends. Showing up out of the blue on a Saturday afternoon was considered highly presumptous as well as rude, with the exception of a neighborhood kid banging on a friend's door in hopes of tossing a ball together.
 
Sunday afternoon used to be a popular time for drop-ins. I remember how my mother dreaded the weekly visits of one particular relative with his wife and 4 kids. Their visits were long, but my mother was always nice to them.
 
Never liked it and like even less as I age. In our neighborhood, if one is sitting on patio or porch and relaxing, it's fine to stop for a chat. Otherwise, call ahead. Only knock if a business call.
 
To add to StarSong's comments:

Families used to sit down and eat dinner together, often at a certain time. When more women started to work outside the home, the family dinner often fell by the wayside. People grabbed a quick bite sometimes on their way out the door. My mother worked second shift for awhile at a hospital. She fixed dinner, we heated it up. Sometimes an aunt who lived close by would stop in and help....dad and later stepdad weren't skilled in the kitchen. Then there was cleanup and homework. Everybody was scurrying around, trying to do what needed to be done. People didn't have time for drop-in visitors who just came to chitchat.
 
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I remember the Seinfeld show’s take on the “drop-in.” Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer all said they didn’t like the drop-in, yet they all did it.

I will sometimes drop-in to see a friend or relative, but I generally give them a text before I do, unless I just happen to find myself in their neighborhood.
 
I do recall when drop in visits were fine. I never liked them, though, as I wasn't prepared for them. No one drops in on me now and by chance if anyone did it would have to be an emergency for me to let them in.
 
I used to have a few friends that I would drop in on but I would not think of it today and I would not appreciate it if anyone just dropped in on me.

I think the notion of calling on people in my grandparents day was a holdover to the Victorian era. I remember my city grandmother having some old calling cards from her parent's generation.
1890s-lot_2-10-antique-calling-cards-d_large.jpg

http://www.avictorian.com/etiquette_calling.html
 
I did do it way back 80s time -visit my sis in her lovely big posh home ..usually on a boring sunday'
some times I would phone-- or just drop in ' I was young and did not give it a second thought '
but looking bck it makes me cringe -lol.. I 'but we dont get a lot living country style . knock knock (y)
 
Here at my place if I get dropped in on...I pretend like it's the old days when the Jehovah Witnesses came to the door. The parents would turn off all the lights & we'd hide in our rooms & we were told if we made a sound we'd get no cookies
 


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