Fun With Funeral Planning

Knight said:
Plans made years ago. Everything from cremation & burial plot to organizing all financial information. Sons made aware of everything planned out. Wasn't fun but having covered the inevitable removes the worst part for surviving family members. That part being what needs to be done.
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I am a firm believer that funerals are for the living, not the dead. I also believer that the dead are no longer present, hence the term "the dear departed".

It is important that the dear departed's memory is honoured appropriately and there is nothing wrong with expressing our preferences before we go but I hesitate to bind my children to a wish that they cannot fulfill. With that in mind, Hubby and I have gone to the funeral parlour of our choice and made arrangements for a pretty standard cremation. I expect the service will take place at our church but when the time comes that may no longer make sense, so that detail will be left to our children. The finances are all in place and all that is still to be decided are the details of the service, including the music. I'm still thinking about those details but they should be different for each of us, reflecting our values and personalities.

There will be plenty of money left over for a big party.
 

Tom 86 said:
I learned this years ago when my Mom went & did pre-arrangements for her funeral at the same time my Dad died. She had it all in writing & also paid for it. When she died about 10 years later the funeral director told me there is nothing to pay as she has done that years ago.
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Good that you were dealing with an ethical funeral director. When my father-in-law died he also had a prepaid plan. However the funeral home put a real hard sell on my wife and her sister to upgrade everything, at significant cost. If I had not been there I think they would have done it, preying on venerable people is what a lot of funeral homes do.
 
MissMac said:
I love this thread. I am donating my body to medical science. I have a contract with an organization called Science Care. They will retrieve my body and forward it to a facility doing teaching or research. There will be no funeral expenses for my family to bear. No funeral director will get any part of my kids' inheritance. When my body is done providing all the benefit it can, it will be cremated and returned to my family if they want it. They accept bodies in any condition, no matter how hollowed out you are.
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Same here. My mother donated her body to science. When she passed away, UT Southwestern picked up her body and advised me it had been transferred to their facility. I will be doing the same. My mother had many medical conditions, even in her 50s, so my hope is that they will learn something valuable that can contribute to the health of future generations. I currently have few health issues, but I hope that I will be equally valuable in contributing to medical research.

We had a funeral for my father, and my mother was agoraphobic at the time so I had to handle all the arrangements, fly his body to his home state and deliver the eulogy. (I am an only child.) I was happy to do it, but this type of arrangement puts a lot of stress on the survivors. I don't want my partner to have to go through that if I go first.
 
GOOD for you! My mother pre-planned and pre-paid for her funeral (except for the outfit) and it made things so much easier for me. We went together and picked out the casket. We didn't like the funeral dresses they had there so that was not an option. My mother had lots of nice dresses and suits but ultimately I chose her purple dress. Went crazy, though trying to find just the right scarf to match. Finally found it at Burlington. She looked so beautiful lying there. If one didn't know, you'd never believe she was 97 years old.

She and my father had purchased a double grave and he predeceased her. It had a vault, so I didn't have to pay extra for that. I just had to pay for the little funeral cards, thank you notes and limo. I have since purchased my grave and paid the opening and closing fees. I'll be in a section that does not require a vault. As a Muslim, we keep it simple...no fancy coffin, probably just a pine box. There's usually no viewing at Muslim Janazah's (funerals) so it's customary to wrap the body in a white sheet. But if possible, I'd like to be buried in a two piece dress with head wrap that my husband had bought me. It's a beautiful mint colored, subtle brocade type pattern with bronze glittery design around the bodice.

Happy planning Medusa.
 
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It is very reassuring to find that there are plenty of people like myself who want no fuss. When planning for my husband I was in a daze. Although we had both discussed it we had never got around to making arrangements, consequently I arranged a viewing which he did not want and even now makes me feel guilty for going against his wishes. Two of our children and members of his family did not get here in time and they wanted to say goodbye, but that was not my husband lying there. I planned mine a couple of years ago, inexpensive, no service, no viewing, cremation making it much easier for the one child who does live here and with covid rules changing it makes sense to have this in place.
Thank you for starting this thread.
 
My late wife's family had a plot back in Pittsburgh. We are on the West Coast. After she was cremated, I called the cemetery back there to ask if I could have her ashes interred with her family. They gave me a song and dance about needing a vaolt and an urn ,plus digginging the hole and covering it. The bottom line was about $1000. That did not include my airfare, hotel, etc.
 
My family still owns the property I grew up on, as a kid I spent a LOT of my time back in the woods. There's a natural spring back there and when I die I told my kids to cremate me and dump my ashes into that spring. That way the water will carry my ashes thru the woods and creeks and ponds where I spent my childhood.
 
RobinWren said:
It is very reassuring to find that there are plenty of people like myself who want no fuss. When planning for my husband I was in a daze. Although we had both discussed it we had never got around to making arrangements, consequently I arranged a viewing which he did not want and even now makes me feel guilty for going against his wishes. Two of our children and members of his family did not get here in time and they wanted to say goodbye, but that was not my husband lying there. I planned mine a couple of years ago, inexpensive, no service, no viewing, cremation making it much easier for the one child who does live here and with covid rules changing it makes sense to have this in place.
Thank you for starting this thread.
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I'm sorry for your struggles with your husband's funeral, but also impressed you've used the experience to prevent the same happening to your child. ❤
 
An interesting story from when my dad died in Sept of 1991. His name was Fred, but most people called him Freddy. Anyway, small town Batavia. Movie theater on Main Street, with one of those older V shaped marquies. So, the week he died, we had the wake and all. And what movie is playing, you ask? The latest (at the time) Nightmare on Elm Street Movie :Freddy's Dead. So, in big letters on the marque;;;;FREDDY'S DEAD. That was the talk of the week...and lightened the mood, as my dad would have just loved that the theater was announcing he died.
 
timoc said:

Fun With Funeral Planning​


Cremation.....that means they set fire to me.....bugger that....I've left instructions that because of my claustraphobia, I want a gigantic coffin with large windows in it and a TV with a 60" screen. 😊

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Since you will have an eternity to watch TV & time means nothing, programming with commercials to see how products change during the centuries ahead should interest you. Might want to rethink that widow. 6ft. down means dirt wall with no view.
 
Knight said:
Since you will have an eternity to watch TV & time means nothing, programming with commercials to see how products change during the centuries ahead should interest you. Might want to rethink that widow. 6ft. down means dirt wall with no view.
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Who said anything about 6ft under, I want to be planted in a tree house. ;)
 
timoc said:

Fun With Funeral Planning​


Cremation.....that means they set fire to me.....bugger that....I've left instructions that because of my claustraphobia, I want a gigantic coffin with large windows in it and a TV with a 60" screen. 😊

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are you honestly this funny in real life? You make me smile.
 
Marie5656 said:
An interesting story from when my dad died in Sept of 1991. His name was Fred, but most people called him Freddy. Anyway, small town Batavia. Movie theater on Main Street, with one of those older V shaped marquies. So, the week he died, we had the wake and all. And what movie is playing, you ask? The latest (at the time) Nightmare on Elm Street Movie :Freddy's Dead. So, in big letters on the marque;;;;FREDDY'S DEAD. That was the talk of the week...and lightened the mood, as my dad would have just loved that the theater was announcing he died.
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What a great story…RIP, Freddy! 😁
 
"We put the FUN in FUNERAL......."
iu
 

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