Got a Case of the Lonelies, Anyone Else?

MarciKS said:
you are so judgmental it just amazes me
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It's great to live in a society where there is still freedom of thought and freedom of speech. Unfortunately, many people don't like this freedom and prefer to follow the party line of the politically correct. It's easier than thinking for themselves. Just follow the leader!

Actually, thinking for yourself, being well informed and time spending socializing with our fellow human beings is a great way to fight dementia and Alzheimer's disease.
 
Most of my friends aren’t very happy in their marriages. On another forum people were talking honestly and many were only staying together because it would hurt them financially, their social lives were built around being a couple or they were afraid to be alone.

I have been alone for 20 months and although a extrovert I keep busy with family and friends and my dogs. Sometimes when I walk the dogs I end up talking to people which I enjoy. Having a compatible partner is the ideal but I much prefer being alone then in a bad relationship. Also if you find a partner in your senior years you may end up being a caregiver.
 

Teacher Terry said:
Most of my friends aren’t very happy in their marriages. On another forum people were talking honestly and many were only staying together because it would hurt them financially, their social lives were built around being a couple or they were afraid to be alone.

I have been alone for 20 months and although a extrovert I keep busy with family and friends and my dogs. Sometimes when I walk the dogs I end up talking to people which I enjoy. Having a compatible partner is the ideal but I much prefer being alone then in a bad relationship. Also if you find a partner in your senior years you may end up being a caregiver.
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This is so true. I can understand though why some people are afraid to be alone (and I've posted about this before): when my first marriage broke up, a long-divorced co-worker warned me that I'd lose all my married friends unless they and I were friends before either one of us got married. I didn't believe her but came to realize she was right. And it doesn't happen to everyone but can, especially in the situation I was in, where the only women I even knew let alone was friends with I only met through my ex because he moved us to a place where he only knew a high school buddy and I knew no one, then I unfortunately only made friends with the wives of his buddies. I can see where especially in a small town sometimes and then too much of the time, people will take sides in a divorce (they will swear up and down they don't but they do).
 
I've spent a lot of time alone, and I've had my heart broken and so on, but I never "felt lonely" until I moved to this town last year. Terrible. With some effort, I did get over the feeling after a few months.

Being in a relationship or marriage has always been a priority for me. Sadly, it never worked out. I was happy and compatible with one man, who died unexpectedly within a year of our meeting. Maybe it really does only happen once in a lifetime -- for some anyway.

Now I have physical problems that basically rule out sex. It might be nice to meet someone in the same boat. But given the unlikelihood of meeting an appropriate person at this stage, I'm working hard to accept being single.
 
NorthernLight said:
I've spent a lot of time alone, and I've had my heart broken and so on, but I never "felt lonely" until I moved to this town last year. Terrible. With some effort, I did get over the feeling after a few months.

Being in a relationship or marriage has always been a priority for me. Sadly, it never worked out. I was happy and compatible with one man, who died unexpectedly within a year of our meeting. Maybe it really does only happen once in a lifetime -- for some anyway.

Now I have physical problems that basically rule out sex. It might be nice to meet someone in the same boat. But given the unlikelihood of meeting an appropriate person at this stage, I'm working hard to accept being single.
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Light of the North, I wouldn't rule out out a happy pairing that doesn't involve sex. I am a 68 year old guy, normal looking, and I would like to fall in love with the right woman, even if sex is not involved.
 
Ya know, I just came back from a pickleball session of 2 hours, and all the time I was there I was just trying to think of everyone as a friend (as opposed to a possible romantic interest) and it was so freeing. I had a great time. I actually smiled. No pressure. Maybe I could get used to this.
 
I am married, and I am separated from my husband. I was very lonely when I lived with him. Since I am married, I won't date anyone, no matter what. I don't care what others do in this regard, but for myself, this is the correct choice.

I am not lonely now, compared to that. Participating here has really helped, since I moved to my own place when Covid was rampant, and I'm still very careful so I won't get it.

If I were to find myself officially single, the one thing I know for sure is that I would not marry again. I am not good at picking husbands. Red flags are there, but I don't realize it until it is too late. I don't know that I would ever get used to being married to someone who is a good husband. I don't think that I could trust that they wouldn't change for the worse.

Not that this matters now. I figure the dating pool for women my age is pretty slim. If I were single, and I got lucky and met someone I clicked with, we would become friends. I've always had both male and female friends.
 
WheatenLover said:
I am married, and I am separated from my husband. I was very lonely when I lived with him. Since I am married, I won't date anyone, no matter what. I don't care what others do in this regard, but for myself, this is the correct choice.

I am not lonely now, compared to that. Participating here has really helped, since I moved to my own place when Covid was rampant, and I'm still very careful so I won't get it.

If I were to find myself officially single, the one thing I know for sure is that I would not marry again. I am not good at picking husbands. Red flags are there, but I don't realize it until it is too late. I don't know that I would ever get used to being married to someone who is a good husband. I don't think that I could trust that they wouldn't change for the worse.

Not that this matters now. I figure the dating pool for women my age is pretty slim. If I were single, and I got lucky and met someone I clicked with, we would become friends. I've always had both male and female friends.
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I know what you mean and are going through. I had and have a similar experience(s.). Have a wire that stopped caring and now I’m stuck.
 
I was missing one of my nephews but did not want to call and/or text him because he just started college. I've been a spastic mother hen since the day my oldest sister gave birth to her first child.

I just feel like I didn't spend enough time with him and now he's gone off to college.

I'm sorry, but I miss him. Oh, I did text him and he texted back; said he loves it there! I'm smiling now.Resized_20220812_153504.jpg
 
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PamfromTx said:
I was missing one of my nephews but did not want to call and/or text him because he just started college. I've been a spastic mother hen since the day one sister had her first child.

I just feel like I didn't spend enough time with him and now he's gone off to college.

I'm sorry, but I miss him. Oh, I did text him and he texted back; said he loves it there! I'm smiling now.View attachment 234882
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Wow, handsome! :love:
 
MrPants said:
What a wonderful, exciting time in a child's life - going off to college. It's life changing in more ways than one! I'm sure you're super excited for him @PamfromTx
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Yes, it is an exciting time in his life. He's been anxious to start a new chapter in his life. He worked his b*tt off his senior year in high school.

Thank you for your kind remark. @MrPants
 
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I’ve never married or ever lived with my long term partner due to long standing trust issues .

I had strong views about cheating , back in my 20’s ….however when I least expected it I was cheated on …..they even had a “ Love child” I had no idea :cry::cry: of any infidelity.


Copied from link below ⬇️

Blind-siding your partner by leaving out of the blue and without explanation.?

One day you’re fine, the next day your partner is packing their bags and walking out the door never to return again.

This person has been living a secret life in their head and perhaps even in their day-to-day real life - unbeknown to you

They’ve been “done” long before walking out the door, and they don’t want to talk about the emotions of the situation because they’ve already moved on from it and processed it.

Men and women who are broken up with in this way often are left feeling very abandoned and when they look back on their relationship realise that they …weren’t in what they thought they were.

It can be truly devastating for the one left behind.

https://apple.news/Am3akk2RnR0mwdhWojZhmUQ
 
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