Oh, heavens to Betsy, the cookies are burning! Help! Assistance! *palms on face*
layful:
I know I'm painting with a broad brush but I'm in one of those moods today.
But isn't that the very point that is being made here? That they give a shoulder to cry on, they empathize, they hang out with the girls, they shop with the best of them and are great dancers?
According to society, that makes them more like women than men.
Just as I'm stereotyping gay men I'm doing the same to straight men - they all drink beer, watch football, scratch themselves, can't dance and are totally without empathy.
Being Taoist I agree that something in the middle would be nice, but seeking "balance" is a fool's journey - I should know, I've been teaching it my entire life. Having a perfectly balanced partner would be a horrible relationship. Without the energy, the dynamics, of occasional trips to the extreme ends of the scale life would be painfully boring. Forcing yourself into gender roles, whether they be gay, straight or any of the other permutations, is a death-trap, yet we are forced by society to do that exact thing. It's only the extremely brave and self-aware person that breaks out of those molds.
Katy said I was jealous, but that isn't it. I'm pissed.
No, my dear, I asked if you were jealous. My closest friends, closest one being my daughter, have discussed this often. There is no gay man who is going to appeal to us in any way other than as a close friend. You have to have the testosterone directed toward us to keep the relationship going. They make wonderful friends, but that's as far as it goes on either side. Zero expectations, on my part, for you guys to enjoy what most of us ladies enjoy/girl stuff!. It's impossible, just as most of us ladies can't hang in there w/your guy stuff/interests, and I know you don't expect us to. If I find a straight man who truly wants to go sales clothes shopping with me, I'll suspect dementia! It's just not normal.
I'm pissed because the gay friend is setting an impossibly high bar to reach, one that, if I chose to reach for it, would irrevocably change me into something I don't want to become. I enjoy being a man, thinking like a man and acting like a man, at least so far as my personal definition of "man" will cover, and in attempting to be more like your gay friends just to please you I am going against my own true nature.
I suppose, as with your two husbands, we ultimately have only our own experiences to learn from. Yours is respectable and understandable. I hope you extend the same courtesy to mine.
