Have Any Folks Here Started the Dying Process?

Serenity4321 said:
I think everyone should have whatever ending they want (y) . I have heard beautiful stories of being with someone as they pass but I understand if anyone chooses otherwise. I do not know what I would request.....I do not think I NEED anyone with me because I am quite Spiritual and seriously believe the Spirits I talk to every day will be there when I 'go'
Of course, it is easy to speculate when not facing an actual time table. Speaking of which it always sort of annoys me when doctors presume to know when anyone will depart, but that is a different topic.
Click to expand...
When my wife was dying the doctors actually advised us to leave the ICU. Their opinion: The dying clung too much to the last bit of life when loved ones were around! We couldn't get ourselves to leave, though!
 

One thing I do every day that distracts me from ALL my pain: I play 6 to 10 hours daily of the video game for computers: "Civilization VI." I play a leader of a nation from 4,000 BC to 2050 AD and beyond. 1 single game takes playing it from 8 to 10 hours daily and up to 4 or 5 months to finish one game. One of those games once lasted almost a full year playing it every day.

The game is fascinating with wars always popping up, strategy in waging those wars using clubs and bows and arrows at the beginning of the game to jet bombers dropping nukes near the end of the game.

I rarely think of pain or death since I now have really "important" things to do every waking hour. Even playing at Level 1 out of 8 for the Artificial Intelligence I am playing against amounts to a real struggle. If I played against the AI at levels from 2 to 8, I would lose every game without a chance of winning.

It is very important to only use a Geriatrician for medical needs. All his patients are in the process of dying and he is very experienced in coaching his patients on how to enjoy life while waiting for the guaranteed ending of DEATH!

Watching millions die in the game gets my attention away from my own problem. I would definitely recommend it as a NECESSITY FOR THE DYING.

It can be played multiplayer with up to 8 players total. If any of you want to join a multiplayer game of Civilization VI, let me know and we can start one going together.

By the way, I was once being treated by Vitas Hospice for 3 weeks back in 2018. They were sure I would NOT make it but they finally had to discharge me at the end. Their fees are paid in total by Medicare and I did not have to pay anything for their nursing care at my home. Medicare paid them $ 1,500 per week.

Even now an MD or NP visits me once every 2 months.
 
Last edited:
Mitch, for what it's worth, here's my view.
Over 2000 years ago the stoics, who were an esteemed group of philosophers, realized that we go through life thinking we respond to things and events, but we don't. We go through life responding to our interpretation of events. How we interpret something directly affects our response. An error in interpretation creates an error in response.
Here are the facts: Death is never an end of life. If you look out at nature, everything out there (Trees, plants, animals, insects, birds) has died ten million times over, and yet it is still there. Life is a continuum. Whatever perishes becomes new life again for something. There is no avoiding it. Your body will become life again for the other living things in nature, whether you want it to or not (Even if you are in a stainless steel casket, it will degrade in time and nature will have it's way.
That being said, nature is beautiful, in fact, even magnificent. Whether it is flowers, eagles, whales, butterflies, or horses, your body will come to inhabit that wonderous domain again. It won't be your consciousness, but you will become natures masterpiece, and in my mind, that's a pretty great thought, and it's not wishful thinking, it is truth.
So what I'm getting at is to re-interpret or re-frame the way you see this. The cycle of life will see to it that you will continue on, but just in other forms until all life on this planet ceases to be. Think about it. Everything you see in nature was once something else.
 
Hey @Mitch86 I sure hope you are with us for more than another year, but it sounds like you have come to terms with it well. As others have said we are all on that path. People who would join a Senior Forum likely know we are closer than most.

Best of luck with it, and keep posting. You are interesting to read, I often learn things from you.
 
Last edited:
Dave03 said:
Actually, yes. I've been doing some cleaning and throwing out a lot of stuff, and it occurred to me that I'm getting rid of things so my kids don't have to go through it when I die.

Kind of morbid, I know.
Click to expand...
No, not morbid at all. I spend a lot of time thinking about the days when I am no longer here and have arranged as much as I can to make things easier for our children. Our papers are in order and much collected junk is being sorted and disposed of with help from family and friends.

When my time comes, as it surely will, I will be ready to go. I hope that I will be missed, at least for a little while, then celebrated by my grandkids who will tell their children about my funny ways and pass down my wisdom and moral teachings. That, I hope, will be my legacy.
 
Mitch86 said:
EVERYONE should ENJOY the "End Times" as we enter that last phase of life. None will experience "death" since when that happens we are DEAD!

I'm thinking of setting up a Zoom Meeting to jointly read the day's verses from the NIV Bible at 9:00 PM ET every night. Would anyone be interested in attending?
Click to expand...
@Mitch86, although I can't promise I will be at your Zoom meetings, I will surely pray for you! If you post the Zoom connection and if I'm free that evening, I will join. Keep us posted! Love the idea!
 
Mitch86 said:
EVERYONE should ENJOY the "End Times" as we enter that last phase of life. None will experience "death" since when that happens we are DEAD!

I'm thinking of setting up a Zoom Meeting to jointly read the day's verses from the NIV Bible at 9:00 PM ET every night. Would anyone be interested in attending?
Click to expand...
why not just put up the zoom link for all members to see and leave the attendance option open after all there are many time differences between us all - so experiment for a little while so that we can ease in according to our own dates and times?/
 
I actually don't think we need to start a dying process it really starts from day one of our birth but often takes 7 - 9 decades to finish?

but I know what you mean without being too smart about it. I have taken to sitting on my front porch with the dog in his patch a few yards away around 4.30pm beginning of sunset. Lovely time of the day for a beer and a contemplation. I light one mozzie coil - love its odour and its effect of course. The slow dying sun leaves dappled shadows on the huge byfuncled boab tree that musts have been around here together with others for a few centuries or so - [anyone know the growth rate of a boab tree?]. Still they are a great comfort and look like comforting protecting London beefeaters!! And then I get to musing!!................................................................................tbc
 
Old Salt said:
When my wife was dying the doctors actually advised us to leave the ICU. Their opinion: The dying clung too much to the last bit of life when loved ones were around! We couldn't get ourselves to leave, though!
Click to expand...
I think doctors should be extremely careful in the advice they give unless they know the people involved very very well. Everyone is different. I am sorry for your loss and I think I would have made the same decision. šŸŒ·
 
bobcat48 said:
Mitch, for what it's worth, here's my view.
Over 2000 years ago the stoics, who were an esteemed group of philosophers, realized that we go through life thinking we respond to things and events, but we don't. We go through life responding to our interpretation of events. How we interpret something directly affects our response. An error in interpretation creates an error in response.
Here are the facts: Death is never an end of life. If you look out at nature, everything out there (Trees, plants, animals, insects, birds) has died ten million times over, and yet it is still there. Life is a continuum. Whatever perishes becomes new life again for something. There is no avoiding it. Your body will become life again for the other living things in nature, whether you want it to or not (Even if you are in a stainless steel casket, it will degrade in time and nature will have it's way.
That being said, nature is beautiful, in fact, even magnificent. Whether it is flowers, eagles, whales, butterflies, or horses, your body will come to inhabit that wonderous domain again. It won't be your consciousness, but you will become natures masterpiece, and in my mind, that's a pretty great thought, and it's not wishful thinking, it is truth.
So what I'm getting at is to re-interpret or re-frame the way you see this. The cycle of life will see to it that you will continue on, but just in other forms until all life on this planet ceases to be. Think about it. Everything you see in nature was once something else.
Click to expand...
Interesting read. What I believe is our consciousness lives on even as our physical bodies become part of nature. I also do not think it is any 'big deal' if all forms of life cease on this planet because there is so much more to reality than our little place in space and our consciousness is eternal.
 
I actually don't think we need to start a dying process it really starts from day one of our birth but often takes 7 - 9 decades to finish?

but I know what you mean without being too smart about it. I have taken to sitting on my front porch with the dog in his patch a few yards away around 4.30pm beginning of sunset. Lovely time of the day for a beer and a contemplation. I light one mozzie coil - love its odour and its effect of course. The slow dying sun leaves dappled shadows on the huge byfuncled boab tree that musts have been around here together with others for a few centuries or so - [anyone know the growth rate of a boab tree?]. Still they are a great comfort and look like comforting protecting London beefeaters!! And then I get to musing!!................................................................................tbc

My son lives 2 hrs away by car and I chat weekly [weakly] or sometimes bi-weekly. I think in his own way besides us having a laugh often that he is checking up on my existance - like am I still alive. He does the same for his mother [first wife] who lives a plane flight away. But I'm sure he doesn't comprehend what I am about to explain? - sometimes thinks he's a smart arse - he's a teacher in high school - there are the humble ones and the smart ones?

Had a few surprise notifications of old friends dying - which has not been easy to accept cos we had all once had regular dialogues then lost it then re-kindled it and then lost some again! I used to think in this high tech world of the internet that we could talk to everyone one we wanted to in the world and keep in touch [the first part is still true!!]

But sometime back I really started looking for the past [maybe that is a clue to dying?] and I wrote about it on here in another section about trying to re-locate and talk to a lost love. It is still here and quite a poignant story - not just about me but all of us? Can I give a link? well not right now I have to concentrate on this bit but it might be exciting to search for - the gift of receiving you might enjoy??

I have also re-connected with old friends I once offended quite deeply [first clue] and sort and received some of their forgiveness - I really wanted a lot more but only got what they could spare! [ going back and correcting the errors that we have made in life - worth it or not? - the internet should theoretically make it easier shouldn't it?]

I watched one dear friend slide away into death [not physically but over the airways] she just said " no I haven't forgotten you but I'm just trying to deal with a really bad thing at the moment - and I never heard from her again - I can feel me 'welling' up as I type this. And then nothing ever since - I know she had three adult kids attending - and then thought isn't it amazing how many times no one ever accesses 'mum's or 'dad's ' emails and notifies everyone on their list about the death - careless at the least I think.

well I may have overshot my mark this time so will leave it at that for the mo! - feel free to chat openly and I'll be back with more
 
Mitch86 said:
My Geriatrician told me last week that I have "less than one year to live." Thus at 88 I am now entering the "dying process.." Has anyone lese here reached that stage yet? What are your symptoms, thoughts and fears?
Click to expand...
One of the women I visit thinks she does not have long to live but I think she is doing better than she did all winter. She thinks she is getting worse. She is over 90 and lives in a retirement place that serves 3 meals a day and has activities.

Right now every time I take her out she comments how it could be her last time to see the places we visit and she is trying to hold the memory of each place. We are lucky to have so many parks and so much nature around us. The city's Rose Garden is in full bloom and fortunately, the weather has been nice and we can sit and enjoy the beauty.
 
I agree with @hearlady. We all started dying the second we were born. Sadly that was literal when it comes to my first grand baby going on 36 years ago this month. And lately, I never thought I would see so many young people dying. It seems like there's just as many of them in the obits as there are seniors. I'm talking about people my grandchildren and son's ages! It's mind boggling! My DIL and her twin died within 3 months of each other...from COVID. During the year before they passed, my DIL and son lost about 12 of their friends. Many in their age ranges are dying from heart attacks and cancer. There have been a couple of murders. So those we think will outlive us may not necessarily do so. That being the case, we should all be trying to live our best lives. I hope you can live yours with the remaining time you have.

I'm not saying these things to diminish what you're going through Mitch. I know you've been having a rough time. I don't know whether you believe in prayer or not but I do include you in mine from time to time. I hope you can mentally prepare yourself for what your doctor says is your prognosis. But doctors don't always get it just right. I'm not afraid to die, just don't want it to be violent or be constantly wracked with pain. I hope that responses to your post provide you with the answers you are looking for.
 
Timewise 60+ said:
Mitch, I am sorry for what you are going through. I am 73 and still in good health. But, I saw my mother go through this process a few years ago. She was 87 when she passed. She had emphysema, they called it something else, but after doing research I saw it was what I thought. She smoked until she was 55, then quit cold turkey. I believe quitting gave he some good time she would not have had.

Her death took over 10 years and it was slow in the since that for most of the time she was not sickly or unable to live her normal life, she just had a nagging cough. I think she was in the hospital a couple of times for a chest cold or flu, but she always bounced back and was out in no time. Over last three years she lost weight and had to go on oxygen full time. She was never in pain until the very end and even then, her doctor helped her manage it, so she was pretty comfortable most all of the time. She refused to go into the hospital and wanted to stay in her apartment. The last year we had someone there with her 24/7 to help her get around and see she was comfortable. I was with her the day before she passed. We set and talked for a few hours as I recall it was a nice visit. She could not walk much so I carried her to bed before I left. Her night lady was already there with us.

I was close to mom as my dad had past 11 years or so before mom. So, she moved closer to us so that as she aged, I could be close.

Mom passed in her sleep that night, the night lady checked on her at 3am and she was not breathing, and she could not detect a heartbeat. Mom had a do not resuscitate, order so the lady just called me. I drove over and spent some quite time with her. She was a very religious person and did not fear death. She lived a beautiful life and was always a beautiful woman and mother. I was blessed to have her as my mother...
Click to expand...
I have been on oxygen now for 6 or 9 months. I hate it and have no fear of dying, not religious. I see death as a way out of this dragging the hose around!
 
So mrstime; who will make the final decision about how much longer you will be using the oxygen hose that you keep dragging around ? - will it be you or a family member or your doctor?
 
Mitch, you seem pretty sharp for the situation. Anyways, there are 3 stages to the process. You can find the symptom information on the net or pamphlets from Hospice. I have watched my parents and my FIL go through the process. All 3 did not understand and needed comfort. Dad said "his marbles were not dropping in the right holes and he needed help." I'm glad he knew enough to ask. I don't know which is better, knowing, or not knowing.
Praying for comfort for you.
 
davey said:
I actually don't think we need to start a dying process it really starts from day one of our birth but often takes 7 - 9 decades to finish?

but I know what you mean without being too smart about it. I have taken to sitting on my front porch with the dog in his patch a few yards away around 4.30pm beginning of sunset. Lovely time of the day for a beer and a contemplation. I light one mozzie coil - love its odour and its effect of course. The slow dying sun leaves dappled shadows on the huge byfuncled boab tree that musts have been around here together with others for a few centuries or so - [anyone know the growth rate of a boab tree?]. Still they are a great comfort and look like comforting protecting London beefeaters!! And then I get to musing!!................................................................................tbc

My son lives 2 hrs away by car and I chat weekly [weakly] or sometimes bi-weekly. I think in his own way besides us having a laugh often that he is checking up on my existance - like am I still alive. He does the same for his mother [first wife] who lives a plane flight away. But I'm sure he doesn't comprehend what I am about to explain? - sometimes thinks he's a smart arse - he's a teacher in high school - there are the humble ones and the smart ones?

Had a few surprise notifications of old friends dying - which has not been easy to accept cos we had all once had regular dialogues then lost it then re-kindled it and then lost some again! I used to think in this high tech world of the internet that we could talk to everyone one we wanted to in the world and keep in touch [the first part is still true!!]

But sometime back I really started looking for the past [maybe that is a clue to dying?] and I wrote about it on here in another section about trying to re-locate and talk to a lost love. It is still here and quite a poignant story - not just about me but all of us? Can I give a link? well not right now I have to concentrate on this bit but it might be exciting to search for - the gift of receiving you might enjoy??

I have also re-connected with old friends I once offended quite deeply [first clue] and sort and received some of their forgiveness - I really wanted a lot more but only got what they could spare! [ going back and correcting the errors that we have made in life - worth it or not? - the internet should theoretically make it easier shouldn't it?]

I watched one dear friend slide away into death [not physically but over the airways] she just said " no I haven't forgotten you but I'm just trying to deal with a really bad thing at the moment - and I never heard from her again - I can feel me 'welling' up as I type this. And then nothing ever since - I know she had three adult kids attending - and then thought isn't it amazing how many times no one ever accesses 'mum's or 'dad's ' emails and notifies everyone on their list about the death - careless at the least I think.

well I may have overshot my mark this time so will leave it at that for the mo! - feel free to chat openly and I'll be back with more
Click to expand...
well from "the front porch musings" again but this time after looking at the same sceneries and reminders found myself scribbling down thoughts in a hurry in an old notebook as if I was 'ghost writing' - but it seemed to produce a lot of clarity and almost a finishing point. Unfortunately I came indoors sat at the pc desk - can't remember putting the headphones on but there they were when i awoke from my sleep and found myself talking to a small boys voice that sound like my young grandson. It was coming from a film called "what we did on our holidays" with Billy Connolly in it as the grandfather? and it was the part where he had died on the beach and three grandkids had decided to send him off on a homemade raft. So my final notes will have to wait for another time - I am fairly tuckered out!
 
bobcat48 said:
Mitch, for what it's worth, here's my view.
Over 2000 years ago the stoics, who were an esteemed group of philosophers, realized that we go through life thinking we respond to things and events, but we don't. We go through life responding to our interpretation of events. How we interpret something directly affects our response. An error in interpretation creates an error in response.
Here are the facts: Death is never an end of life. If you look out at nature, everything out there (Trees, plants, animals, insects, birds) has died ten million times over, and yet it is still there. Life is a continuum. Whatever perishes becomes new life again for something. There is no avoiding it. Your body will become life again for the other living things in nature, whether you want it to or not (Even if you are in a stainless steel casket, it will degrade in time and nature will have it's way.
That being said, nature is beautiful, in fact, even magnificent. Whether it is flowers, eagles, whales, butterflies, or horses, your body will come to inhabit that wonderous domain again. It won't be your consciousness, but you will become natures masterpiece, and in my mind, that's a pretty great thought, and it's not wishful thinking, it is truth.
So what I'm getting at is to re-interpret or re-frame the way you see this. The cycle of life will see to it that you will continue on, but just in other forms until all life on this planet ceases to be. Think about it. Everything you see in nature was once something else.
Click to expand...
That's how I look at it as well, but you said it much better than I could have.

That philosophy is also how I respond to the questions about life after death or reincarnation. Yes we absolutly continue, on and on, again and again.
 
I don't continually think of the time I have left. Instead I try to be with my loved ones all I can. Who really knows how much time is left? Doctors are often wrong with their predictions. Anyhow one day as it comes.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top