Have you ever contemplated suicide?

This is dark but a reality that we can't ignore: I can't imagine the fear and helplessness regarding someone who has attempted suicide and then has second thoughts in their final moments that are irreversible. I've heard or read that we experience a time of clarity in our final hours. But if your suicide attempt is successful enough then it will be too late to change your course.

Can a person who has suicidal thoughts be able to realize that before attempting suicide?
Or are they too sure all is hopeless? I guess the latter 😟
 
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win231 said:
You "don't understand why" they committed suicide because you probably don't have the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.
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I don’t think that’s a fair statement, @win231 You’re talking about empathy, (walking in someone else’s shoes, feeling what they feel) and though I’m a highly empathetic person, there are plenty of decisions people make/actions they take that I simply cannot fathom, in spite of my empathetic nature.

Mass shootings are a good example of that. There is no way I will ever understand the mindset that compels a shooter to that, no matter how empathetic I am.

I don’t understand why Anthony Bourdain committed suicide as another example, other than the intellectual knowledge that depressed people sometimes do. But the specifics of his life give me few insight about why he was depressed ..he seemed to have everything goin for him.
 

Yes. For about 6 months, I was in and out of hospitals. At my lowest point, I was hospitalized and I was not getting any better-only worse. Much worse. I was in Intensive Care. for a long time. I had a large open area on my back, the bone was exposed. The pain was excruciating. They had to turn me in bed, side to side, every 4 hours. Before they could move me, I had to have shot of pain med, via the IVs in my neck. I just wanted to be left alone to die. I wanted it to end. I figured out how to use my electric bed to kill myself. I was too weak to do it. I didn't tell anybody how I planned to do it-I didn't want to be stopped, but I told everybody that I was going to kill myself. As a Psych Nurse, I was amazed by suicidal patients- they always admitted to wanting to kill themselves. I think it's because you've made the decision to act. You've crossed that line. You are totally committed to killing yourself. The only thing left to do is the actual deed, which strangely doesn't feel like a big deal. Thankfully that has passed. Well, now, I'm out of the hospital and feeling a lot better, with no suicidal ideation.
 
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Ronni said:
Mass shootings...There is no way I will ever understand the mindset that compels a shooter to that, no matter how empathetic I am...I don’t understand why Anthony Bourdain committed suicide as another example, other than the intellectual knowledge that depressed people sometimes do. But the specifics of his life give me few insight about why he was depressed ..he seemed to have everything goin for him.
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@Ronni I see a variety of reasons these mass shooters do what they do. To name a few, military PTSD, Social Rejection (Loners), addiction to mind-altering Drugs laced with bad stuff, mind-altering violent video game obsessions, sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies of course, and ease of which to steal or buy used weapons. In Texas and Ohio, it's legal to buy these high-powered firearms... the type of military-style rifles that are often used in mass shootings.

I wasn't a follower of Anthony Bourdain but when he made suicide headlines I checked out one of his shows that took place in Washington DC. (link below). Eerily enough, he had a "light-hearted" hypothetical conversation that hinted of suicide. He was talking to a retired Washington CIA Spy as they sat eating burgers at a counter after visiting a museum of weapons that CIA spies used to kill people in different ways. It had nothing to do with food which I found confusing except that Julia Childs was a small part of the museum display since she was a spy.

It was super odd that I had just heard of Bourdain's suicide when the 2 men have this conversation over lunch that ended in the spy suggesting a solution for Bourdain to "end it all" as they laughed jokingly. Bourdian actually said, "What. So you think I should get a small apartment in Clearwater FL?" hinting at hypothetically ending his life there. But joking. Then they leave and the former spy shows him how to do a "Dead Drop" into a street mailbox. Here's the link to the whole show. I felt like maybe Bourdain was involved in some sort of "secrets about to be exposed" since it was such a focus of interest in that episode instead of food. But that was only me overthinking...perhaps.

The conversation begins at 13:30 and ends at the 16 minute mark
 
Never have. But if I got so messed up in an accident or from an illness that all I had to look forward to was pain and suffering I think I might.

I did write a poem about suicide in Mrs. Ewart's creative writing class in my senior year of High School. And I still have a copy of it because we made up a pamphlet of selected class writings at the end of the year and I still have that. I've read them later in life and realized that like most of that class, my writing pretty much sucked.

Anyway, here's that poem.

"I thought about it for a while
The reasoning seemed sound
Near my wretched body
This sad note to be found
The only thing, it makes me sick
To think I am so gross
I think I'll put it off a while
The way I do with everything"

Like I said, my writing sucked.

But I got straight B's in the course.
Mrs. Ewart set a pretty low bar.



 
Lara said:
I felt like maybe Bourdain was involved in some sort of "secrets about to be exposed" since it was such a focus of interest in that episode instead of food. But that was only me overthinking...perhaps.
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Interesting
At least that's something
Bourdain's end up has greatly puzzled me


Really liked his show
 
I read all his books and was a fairly regular viewer of his shows. Anthony Bourdain was a man who was endlessly battling with his demons.
Sadly, it appeared that he became tired of fighting and one night the demons prevailed.
 
Yes I do think about it. Several immediate family members have died horribly of various forms of cancer. Some pleaded for death. It's a horror to watch. How much more so to experience? Those of my family who remain have actually had a convo about our "plan" ie. exit plan. It may sound weird to some, but not for us, and I'm actually glad to be able to talk to someone about something as serious as this. Nobody wants to suffer and be helpless. We treat our animals better. That's all I guess.
 
Gary O' said:
Interesting. At least that's something. Bourdain's end up has greatly puzzled me...
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I read an article in Psychology Today that caused me to abandon my theory in post#56. I now think that was just some crazy coincidence.

The article was saying that Anthony Bourdain fell deeply in love with his girlfriend from Paris to the point of not focusing anymore on the love of others, like his daughter. He told people that Paris was a great place to be in love and was falling more in love with the city of Paris as well.

Meanwhile, his girlfriend was cavorting around Paris with a photographer while Bourdain was in another country shooting a show. His GF and her photographer "friend" were both in many of the pics hugging, etc. Someone sent him one or more pics. Also were dancing together etc. He told his friend at dinner and the next morning didn't show up for breakfast.

His girlfriend was questioned and said they had an open relationship and wasnt her fault but rather ABourdain's choice.
 
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My daughter hung herself. She suffered from bi-polar disorder for ten years. That's about the maximum these sufferers make it with her bi-polar type. She was an intelligent girl who had herself under the care of doctors and psychiatrists and psychologists but they couldn't save her. It was very difficult for her because she'd be doing fine then everything became too loud, too bright, too much that she would just shut down for months. Holding down a steady job was impossible. When the mental disorder began to affect her body, causing physical pain on top of the mental anguish, I think that's when she decided she had had enough. Most everyone she knew, but of course our family, had no idea she suffered from a mental disorder. Please be kind to others, you really never know what they are going through. Thank you.
 
I Googled the article you mentioned, Lara, but won't add a link here because I think it's pure tripe. The writer, Stanton Peele, Ph.D., makes his money lecturing and writing books on addictions. He saw Bourdain as someone addicted to love. No surprise there. To a hammer everything looks like a nail.

My take is that it was incredibly unprofessional and irresponsible for a psychologist to publicly speculate why Anthony Bourdain killed himself, and for Psychology Today to publish it. Peele never met AB nor treated him, and the details supporting his theories came to him second or third hand, including such highly reliable, unimpeachable sources as People Magazine.

This article is emblematic of the difficulty we have with suicides. We try to explain to ourselves that which is often unexplainable, even to the very person who decides to take his/her own life.

I remember all the so-called experts who did the same with Robin Williams, then backpedaled and tried to stuff the words back into their mouths when the autopsy proved he was suffering with Lewy Body Disease.
 
Judycat, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. You were brave to share your story.
Thank you for your wise advice in your last sentence.
StarSong, thank you for your insight. We all are searching for answers and no one really knows.
 
Judycat said:
My daughter hung herself. She suffered from bi-polar disorder for ten years. That's about the maximum these sufferers make it with her bi-polar type. She was an intelligent girl who had herself under the care of doctors and psychiatrists and psychologists but they couldn't save her. It was very difficult for her because she'd be doing fine then everything became too loud, too bright, too much that she would just shut down for months. Holding down a steady job was impossible. When the mental disorder began to affect her body, causing physical pain on top of the mental anguish, I think that's when she decided she had had enough. Most everyone she knew, but of course our family, had no idea she suffered from a mental disorder. Please be kind to others, you really never know what they are going through. Thank you.
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So sorry to hear this. At a church I once attended, there was a similar situation. Our pastor handled it so well. He phrased the news of her passing just as he would a death from any other life threatening illness. Something like ...."We are sad to have lost X after a prolonged struggle with depression. She fought her illness valiantly for many years before finally succumbing to it this week." It was the most comforting thing I think a family could hear. I have never believed that those who commit suicide are damned to hell like some fundamentalist do. I have always believed God's grace is bigger than anything we can do other than flat out rejecting him and his grace.
 
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Lara said:
I read an article in Psychology Today that caused me to abandon my theory in post#56. I now think that was just some crazy coincidence.

The article was saying that Anthony Bourdain fell deeply in love with his girlfriend from Paris to the point of not focusing anymore on the love of others, like his daughter. He told people that Paris was a great place to be in love and was falling more in love with the city of Paris as well.

Meanwhile, his girlfriend was cavorting around Paris with a photographer while Bourdain was in another country shooting a show. His GF and her photographer "friend" were both in many of the pics hugging, etc. Someone sent him one or more pics. Also were dancing together etc. He told his friend at dinner and the next morning didn't show up for breakfast.

His girlfriend was questioned and said they had an open relationship and wasnt her fault but rather ABourdain's choice.
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I'll likely catch allot of flack for this but ..... Here goes.

If the above is accurate it furthers my view / opinion on love . I truly think some folks just take it too damn far / to damn seriously .

Look at the divorce rate & how it is, look a the marriage rate & how it has dropped. Most of this has happened since in the last 50? years people have discovered that they do not need a spouse. It is perfectly OK for a man & or a woman to live their lives completely with out a spouse, even an S.O.

When people [the gender does not matter] become so immersed in the idea of being in love ..... that's when trouble begins. I question sometimes, are/were they in-love with that person ? or in-love with being in-love? Remember the song ...[You're nobody till somebody loves you] ? One of the worst songs ever written, it implies just what the title states. Yes I now, it's only a song but ..... too some, songs are the holly-grail of life. Just like soap-operas , movies, etc. They really believe that they should follow the example set forth by theses entertainments. They have a hard time separating actual life from fictional life, and when they cannot achieve what they want for themselves they just start to unravel . They cannot grasp that they are JUST FINE as they are, just being THEMSELVES. And as such they start heading down hill.

Love / being in love, is way over hyped and has for years caused allot of pain to many,many people.

IMO if a person wants a spouse, an S.O. fine ..... go pick one ..... but do not invest your life, your very being in that person. They're not worth it, or at the very least may not be ........... we never know what is in their mind & heart ..... [yes i know the heart is a muscle that pumps blood.] it has nothing to do with emotion .....the above is just a saying. But you get my meaning.
 
rgp said:
I'll likely catch allot of flack for this but ..... Here goes.

If the above is accurate it furthers my view / opinion on love . I truly think some folks just take it too damn far / to damn seriously .

Look at the divorce rate & how it is, look a the marriage rate & how it has dropped. Most of this has happened since in the last 50? years people have discovered that they do not need a spouse. It is perfectly OK for a man & or a woman to live their lives completely with out a spouse, even an S.O.

When people [the gender does not matter] become so immersed in the idea of being in love ..... that's when trouble begins. I question sometimes, are/were they in-love with that person ? or in-love with being in-love? Remember the song ...[You're nobody till somebody loves you] ? One of the worst songs ever written, it implies just what the title states. Yes I now, it's only a song but ..... too some, songs are the holly-grail of life. Just like soap-operas , movies, etc. They really believe that they should follow the example set forth by theses entertainments. They have a hard time separating actual life from fictional life, and when they cannot achieve what they want for themselves they just start to unravel . They cannot grasp that they are JUST FINE as they are, just being THEMSELVES. And as such they start heading down hill.

Love / being in love, is way over hyped and has for years caused allot of pain to many,many people.

IMO if a person wants a spouse, an S.O. fine ..... go pick one ..... but do not invest your life, your very being in that person. They're not worth it, or at the very least may not be ........... we never know what is in their mind & heart ..... [yes i know the heart is a muscle that pumps blood.] it has nothing to do with emotion .....the above is just a saying. But you get my meaning.
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Agree with a lot of what you say, but believe you're using the word love in some cases for infatuation and/or obsession, neither of which is love.
 
AnnieA said:
Agree with a lot of what you say, but believe you're using the word love in some cases for infatuation and/or obsession, neither of which is love.
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Exactly my point !

I'm just not sure there is love ? What is it ? I believe that it may exist between parents/children....but question that it does elsewhere?
 
Loving someone is being concerned for them at least equal to or more than being concerned about yourself. And I don't mean saving someone from drowning or other life-threatening events, but concerned about the whole person. That's love to me. And I mean that not just for parent and child, but also for any SO's in your life.
 
rgp said:
I'm just not sure there is love ? What is it ?
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There is
It’s much deeper than feelings, emotions

It’s knowing, without question, you’d give your life for that person
Dying, yes, but I’m talking a life of dedication

Not servitude
Mutual dedication

Caring so deeply, you both know each other’s faults so well
…and see thru them

Loving to be together

Easy with being apart
But glad when you return

Knowing you love each other when yer both mad
Making up

Laughing together…. at life

Enjoying going places together…even if it’s just getting the oil changed on yer car

Sitting across from each other in a café booth
Enjoying the view

Thinking of them out of the blue, striking you to the core how so very much you adore that person
Dropping everything, going in, pulling her away from her dishes… and telling her

Holding each other close
Sending a rush of memories….fifty years ago
 
Olivia said:
Loving someone is being concerned for them at least equal to or more than being concerned about yourself. And I don't mean saving someone from drowning or other life-threatening events, but concerned about the whole person. That's love to me. And I mean that not just for parent and child, but also for any SO's in your life.
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OK, I think you may be right, matter of fact I agree. But I also think it is so rare, that i do question it's very existence .

It sure seems to go all to hell when divorce rears it's ugly head. Or often times when temptation comes along. Hence my opinion of rare.
 


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