Frustration is paralyzing me; or, the curse of having too much stuff accumulated in life.
For at least the tenth time, I am in the process of making a renewed effort to "downsize" my belongings. Each time I am getting rid of a little bit more. In retirement I have the time to do it. But if I leave after my death the job to my working family, they won't have the time, and it would be even more frustrating to them.
I thoroughly dislike doing it, and I always find good excuses for putting it off. But it has to be done. Last year I got rid of a three-foot stack of my college papers. It was heart breaking. I only kept the diplomas. Question: who will ever look at them? Should I also toss them? Sentimental value is the dilemma. Those pieces of paper are an important part of my life.
On the positive side: going through tons of paper stuff is like re-living my life. There are handwritten letters of my mother and my aunts who died a long time ago. Tears are coming into my eyes. Toss them? Not at this time; perhaps next time.
I gave away to Goodwill several bags of clothing, and they will get more. And then I have a box of colorful ties that I wore in the seventies. I still love them but will never again wear them. What shall I do with them? They are still dear to me but utterly useless.
We still have a 1986 Ford F-150 pick-up truck with a move-on camper. We took trips to Florida, New England, Canada, and Mexico when the price of gasoline was still 60 cents a gallon. The last trip, I think, was to Death Valley over Thanksgiving many years ago. Now totally useless. My excuse for keeping it is to have an emergency shelter when the expected and long overdue “Big” earthquake will hit us and damages our house.
Then we have a 12 x 24 foot shed crammed full with, for example, a box of computer games the kids played. And then there is another shed with all my gardening tools including, for example, an electric Bosch Hammer that enabled me doing many projects in the garden.
Bottom line: memories are paralyzing me of doing what needs to be done. Memories are sabotaging me.
Below are pictures of my stuffed full and overflowing walk-in closet, and some of my 1970's "hippie" ties that I wore to work.
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I will NEVER toss my birth certificate with a swastika as a seal (a poor copy) and my U.S. Naturalization Certificate of 1970.
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Below is the large tool and storage shed behind our carport. Heaven knows why we ended up with 10 suitcases (only a few are visible below.) On our first 2-months family trip to Europe in 1990, we carried 6 suitcases and even a porta-potty for the VW Joker Camper we had booked in advance. Those were the "good old times" that are nowadays unthinkable. I mean a "porta-potty" on an airplane from Los Angeles to Brussels and back. BTW, when we flew 5 miles above Greenland, my then 8-year old daughter saw white polar bears on the white ice plateau below, and you better believe it, LOL.
Bottom right: our 12 x 24 ft storage shed which used to be our teenagers "party" hideout. In the center is our little chicken coop; and on the right is my daughter's car in storage. She is working in Mainland China and is visiting us at least twice a year. Los Angeles to Hong Kong is 14 hours non-stop which is the same flying time as to Sydney/Australia, while Los Angeles to Frankfurt/Germany is only 12 hours non-stop, flying over Winnipeg, Greenland, off-shore South of Iceland, and over Scotland.
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