How Should a Woman Protect Herself?

Ruthanne said:
Yes, this is about women but open for all thoughtful, considerate ideas for the help of us. Men, too, need protection but I have made this about women. Another thread about men could help the cause of men. These are broad topics and it is enough IMHO to concentrate on women in this thread, thank you.

Many woman, of course it could be said most women have been through something that has lead them to need to think twice about her protection. I am one of them.

What ideas do you have for women, without being offensive, do you honestly think will be helpful for us. I have been through counseling, defensive training, carry pepper spray, have many defensive ideas and tactics, and am now totally still paranoid as to what is the Total answer to it all.

So, I openly welcome your Well Thought Out and Helpful Ideas. If I don't reply openly here it is to give me time to think or more...I often give reps for replies.

Thank you in advance....:eek:...I still love people:playful:
Click to expand...
I'm kinda at a loss when it comes to trying to think of helpful ideas. I realize this is a broad topic. Maybe the various situations where a woman would or could use helpful ideas would help me understand what you are asking for. A few that came to mind.

Car jacking
Walking in a parking lot with a lot of packages
Rape prevention recognizing the potential
Spousal abuse
Car repair rip offs
Health issues like depression or obesity <------ recognizing the reason or reasons
Rejection due to lifestyle choice
 

This thread reminded me of this youtube clip of Louis CK's.

But be forewarned, Louis gets a little crude at the end. If you are sensitive to that sort of thing cut it off at the 3 minute mark.

 
Trade said:
They way I figure it, if you don't resist odds are he's going to kill you anyway. So if you're gonna go out, go out fighting. And remember, the biggest impediment to winning a fight is the mistaken notion that you have to fight fair.
Click to expand...

Exactly. So make sure there's plenty of his DNA under your fingernails.
 

Lara said:
Aren't you going a little too easy on the guy? :laugh:. I shouldn't joke. It's not at all funny I know. But wouldn't the offender first say something like, "if you scream or resist I'll kill you"? Then what?
Click to expand...
This thread seems to focus on rape. Fighting to survive is one way to protect yourself or at least trying to live after the fact. I haven't read any responses that delve into how a woman manages to be in the position to be raped. Any woman want to toss out ideas of the situation that would help others to prevent rape from taking place. There must be a variety of circumstance that could trigger that self preservation instinct.
 
On a first date never get into the car of a guy you don't know well. If you're meeting for drinks or dinner take your own car or make sure you have cabfare to get home.

And it should go without saying but never go to the hotel room of a man you just met a couple hours ago. Amazing how often women will do this.
 
911 said:
1. Always be aware of your surroundings
2. Trust your instincts
3. Carry pepper spray
4. Be ready to fight
5. If the woman finds herself in an uncomfortable situation, make a plan to get away from that area
6. Take a self-defense class
7. (I saved the most important for last) IF YOU ARE DRIVING AND MADE TO STOP, NEVER GET INTO THE ABDUCTOR'S VEHICLE.

There are a few good self-defense moves for women on YouTube. Check them out and then practice the moves that think you can more easily do.
Click to expand...

I was at a self-protection talk by a police officer and he said the same thing. Once you get into that bad guy's vehicle, you are probably a dead woman. Fight for your life BEFORE you get into that vehicle, because you probably have little to no chance if you think you can wait until later.

I carry mace and I always drive with my windows up and my doors locked. If you don't and you are stopped at a stop light or something, it's very easy for someone to just get in your car and take over or just reach in your window and grab your purse. If I'm going to be away from heavily traveled areas I carry a .38 in my car (it's legal here) to protect myself against both two and four-legged predators.

I am careful to always be aware of my surroundings, especially if I am on foot. If it's dark and I am concerned about walking in the parking lot to get to my car, I don't hesitate to ask in the store for someone to walk me to my car. You're fairly easy prey if you are alone and bent over putting groceries in your car.

Doing the kind of work I did for years, I do not trust my fellow man worth a flip.
 
Last edited:
treeguy64 said:
Must disagree, but don't want this to turn into a pro/anti gun ownership thread. Only one incontrovertible truth: If law-abiding people are prevented from owning guns, rest assured that bad people will still get them, especially in the US. Any assertions, contrary to that, are laughable nonsense from the incredibly naive.
Click to expand...

I agree wholeheartedly. Based on the work I used to do, it's much easier for bad guys to get guns than it is for law abiding citizens. I was amazed at the ease with which black-market guns are available --"see the guy on the corner."
 
Knight said:
This thread seems to focus on rape. Fighting to survive is one way to protect yourself or at least trying to live after the fact. I haven't read any responses that delve into how a woman manages to be in the position to be raped. Any woman want to toss out ideas of the situation that would help others to prevent rape from taking place. There must be a variety of circumstance that could trigger that self preservation instinct.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, a woman can "manage to be in the position to be raped" by just walking down the street minding her own business. It's a big fat myth that most women who are raped are either dressed very provocatively or somehow "asking for it." Rape victims are all ages, sizes, degrees of physical attractiveness, and dressed in all manner of ways. It is NEVER the woman's fault, IMHO. We had a serial rapist here a few years ago who went around raping women in their 70s and 80s.
 
Knight said:
This thread seems to focus on rape. Fighting to survive is one way to protect yourself or at least trying to live after the fact. I haven't read any responses that delve into how a woman manages to be in the position to be raped. Any woman want to toss out ideas of the situation that would help others to prevent rape from taking place. There must be a variety of circumstance that could trigger that self preservation instinct.
Click to expand...

Sure! I’ll toss out an idea how women can prevent being raped.

Dont be a female!!! Try really hard to be a man.

I’m sorry but this truly is a :what: comment.
Rape is NOT about sex or being provocatively dressed.
 
Last edited:
Butterfly said:
Unfortunately, a woman can "manage to be in the position to be raped" by just walking down the street minding her own business. It's a big fat myth that most women who are raped are either dressed very provocatively or somehow "asking for it." Rape victims are all ages, sizes, degrees of physical attractiveness, and dressed in all manner of ways. It is NEVER the woman's fault, IMHO. We had a serial rapist here a few years ago who went around raping women in their 70s and 80s.
Click to expand...


I wasn't posting that a woman was in anyway responsible for being raped. My intent was to point out this thread seems to be limiting rape to adult women. Maybe that is the intent I just thought expanding it to include.
https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/7855zx/when-youre-a-woman-raped-by-a-woman


Quote
"Rape victims are all ages, sizes, degrees of physical attractiveness"




What about infants & pre teen. I can only guess physical attractiveness is in the mind of a rapist.


Live long enough to read perpetrators aren't really unique in appearance. Fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, next door neighbors, boyfriends, casual acquaintances, serial rapists, professionals like doctors & dentists, politicians, corporate execs, entertainment industry leaders and actors, & police.


No matter how often stories about drinking on spring break are in the news rapes still happen. Warnings about rufies the date rape drug should be enough of a warning but there are still instances in the news. This is not an easy topic to try to cover all the potentials. Most of the replies consider the common situations which unfortunately still occur.
 
First and foremost, female or male, be aware of your surroundings. There was a piece recently of a woman who was so focused on her cell phone that she walked into the side of a moving train. Nothing can protect you from inattention.


 
Manatee said:
First and foremost, female or male, be aware of your surroundings. There was a piece recently of a woman who was so focused on her cell phone that she walked into the side of a moving train. Nothing can protect you from inattention.
Click to expand...

Also a video of a woman in China texting or talking on her phone. She walked into an open manhole & was never found.
 
applecruncher said:
On a first date never get into the car of a guy you don't know well. If you're meeting for drinks or dinner take your own car or make sure you have cabfare to get home.

And it should go without saying but never go to the hotel room of a man you just met a couple hours ago. Amazing how often women will do this.
Click to expand...

I'm surprised at people who get a knock at their front door & automatically open it to see who's there. That's how home invasions start. That applies to men and women. I see who it is. If I don't know them, I ask "who is it?" If I'm not expecting anyone, the door stays closed. If it's a utility person or someone I feel I should open the door to, well...they better not have bad intentions because I'm carrying concealed & they won't live long.

I'm lucky enough to live in a nice area - many celebrities as neighbors. It doesn't matter anymore; crime happens everywhere.
A few months ago, I went out to get the mail - armed outside, as usual. My mailbox is 85 feet from my front door. Just as I got to the box, a guy gets out of his car, parked across the street & approaches me. I kept my eye on him as I backed away into my driveway. He's around 45 years younger than me, & around 6'8" - not someone I would fight with.
When he got into my driveway, I put up my hand & said "Stop."
He says, "Hey man...I just ran out of gas; can you give me a ride to the gas station?"
I said, "No, but I'll be happy to call someone for you."
He says, "Aw, c'mon, man...I just need a ride." Then he starts approaching me again. By now, he's in my driveway.
I said, "I...said..., STOP!"
When he kept coming, I lifted my shirt & twisted so he could see the gun. He says, "Whoa, dude." I said, "Goodbye, dude."

Guess what he did next? He walked across the street, got back in his car (that he said was out of gas), started it & drove off. Yeah....I wonder what he was planning....

As he drove off, I noted his license plate number & called police. They told me, "If you're willing to wait FOUR HOURS, we can come & take a report." I was mad & said, "If you pull him over, you'll probably find burglary tools in his car & evidence of other crimes...maybe unsolved murders....why can't you do that?" Cop says, "Well, you scared him off & he probably won't come back, so....."

"Protect and Serve???"
 
I probably arrested a dozen college men for rape on campus. Maybe another 50 or more men for striking their s/o during a domestic squabble.

I used to to do a program at the YWCA and the Jewish Community Center for women and how they can protect themself. Contained in the Power Point presentation, we advised women that either liked to frequent bars, lived alone or were in an abusive relationship to carry a small handbag size weapon like a canister of mace or pepper spray (both are the same thing), a tactical pen or a small handgun. If you go with the latter, make sure that you also carry a “right to carry” permit.

In most cases, women need to immediately disable their attacker and have time to escape. Escape is a women’s best bet. Trying to overpower a man is almost useless. If the women has no self-defense training, the man will either punch the woman in the face to stun her before he puts his hands around their throat.

For some reason, men like to apply enough pressure to the throat to have their victim pass out. That may go on a few times. He is seeking control and also to send his victim a message that he is in charge.

One last thing, if you are in an abusive relationship and are making plans to leave, keep it a secret and when you do leave, DO NOT warn your partner. The most dangerous times in a relationship is when one of the partners is in the process of leaving, using this applies to the female. Tell no one, not even mom or dad.

Women—-Don’t become a victim. Always have situational awareness and seek escape when uncomfortable with your situation. And, like I wrote earlier, never get in the car.
 
When I was younger (30-40ish) I had a job that required overnight travel. A very attractive co-worker (also female) sometimes went with me. After a day's work sometimes we would go to the hotel bar for a drink. Often we were approached by men wanting to buy us a drink or dance if there was a dance floor.

On more than one occasion when we went to freshen up she would tell me she was going to the guy's room and not to wait up for her. She never knew these guys from a hole in the wall. Maybe they were there for a convention, maybe they just walked in off the street, maybe they gave a phoney name. She had no guarantee that there wasn't an accomplice already in the room... she was liquored up and they could have had a plan for some special "fun and games". :eek:mg1:
 
911 said:
I probably arrested a dozen college men for rape on campus. Maybe another 50 or more men for striking their s/o during a domestic squabble.

I used to to do a program at the YWCA and the Jewish Community Center for women and how they can protect themself. Contained in the Power Point presentation, we advised women that either liked to frequent bars, lived alone or were in an abusive relationship to carry a small handbag size weapon like a canister of mace or pepper spray (both are the same thing), a tactical pen or a small handgun. If you go with the latter, make sure that you also carry a “right to carry” permit.

In most cases, women need to immediately disable their attacker and have time to escape. Escape is a women’s best bet. Trying to overpower a man is almost useless. If the women has no self-defense training, the man will either punch the woman in the face to stun her before he puts his hands around their throat.

For some reason, men like to apply enough pressure to the throat to have their victim pass out. That may go on a few times. He is seeking control and also to send his victim a message that he is in charge.

One last thing, if you are in an abusive relationship and are making plans to leave, keep it a secret and when you do leave, DO NOT warn your partner. The most dangerous times in a relationship is when one of the partners is in the process of leaving, using this applies to the female. Tell no one, not even mom or dad.

Women—-Don’t become a victim. Always have situational awareness and seek escape when uncomfortable with your situation. And, like I wrote earlier, never get in the car.
Click to expand...

Great advice 911. I'd add never being alone in dangerous places and look like you're in charge of your life and yourself. Like you have a purpose. Predators look for easy targets. Vulnerabilities. Don't walk if you can drive, especially at night and here's an oldie - don't talk to strangers. If a guy does try to hurt you hit him in the solar plexus, instep, nose and groin. Fast. Marshal arts can help if you know any, but try to just avoid places and situations where an attack might be more likely. My cousin was a homicide detective for over thirty years and his advice to me has been invaluable. I agree with the pepper spray, but it's not always easy to get it and is illegal in many places. I'd favor a Taser, but likewise - same problem.
 
Shalimar said:
Raising our sons to respect women is key.
Click to expand...

Raising women to respect themselves, including making them aware of the absolute fact that if they dress like prostitutes, they may be treated like prostitutes, is also key, along with raising sons who know to leave women who dress trashy, alone.
 
P
treeguy64 said:
Raising women to respect themselves, including making them aware of the absolute fact that if they dress like prostitutes, they may be treated like prostitutes, is also key, along with raising sons who know to leave women who dress trashy, alone.
Click to expand...
Treeguy, it’s a proven fact that rape isn’t about sex. Women 70 & 80 years old get raped. They aren’t dressed like prostitutes.
It’s attitudes like yours that prevent most women from reporting rapes because stripping the victims character is the first thing that’s done in a court of law.

The message is that you must have asked for it one way or another.
 
^^
Agree. How a woman dresses is irrelevant Even if she stands in front of a man naked does not mean he has the right to rape her. Dressing sexy is NOT an invitation to be raped.

Rape is about power, not sex.
 
Hold the hell on, here! I NEVER posted anything saying a woman deserves to be raped, or that rape is about sex. Those who are implying that I did, either can't understand the gist of my post, or are simply jumping on the same old attack strategy, when it comes to chastising any guy who suggests that women need to dress in ways that show respect for themselves! The same goes for guys.
 
911 said:
I probably arrested a dozen college men for rape on campus. Maybe another 50 or more men for striking their s/o during a domestic squabble.

I used to to do a program at the YWCA and the Jewish Community Center for women and how they can protect themself. Contained in the Power Point presentation, we advised women that either liked to frequent bars, lived alone or were in an abusive relationship to carry a small handbag size weapon like a canister of mace or pepper spray (both are the same thing), a tactical pen or a small handgun. If you go with the latter, make sure that you also carry a “right to carry” permit.

In most cases, women need to immediately disable their attacker and have time to escape. Escape is a women’s best bet. Trying to overpower a man is almost useless. If the women has no self-defense training, the man will either punch the woman in the face to stun her before he puts his hands around their throat.

For some reason, men like to apply enough pressure to the throat to have their victim pass out. That may go on a few times. He is seeking control and also to send his victim a message that he is in charge.

One last thing, if you are in an abusive relationship and are making plans to leave, keep it a secret and when you do leave, DO NOT warn your partner. The most dangerous times in a relationship is when one of the partners is in the process of leaving, using this applies to the female. Tell no one, not even mom or dad.

Women—-Don’t become a victim. Always have situational awareness and seek escape when uncomfortable with your situation. And, like I wrote earlier, never get in the car.
Click to expand...

Very Helpful information 911,and I am going to pass it on to my daughter. :thumbsup1:
 
treeguy64 said:
Raising women to respect themselves, including making them aware of the absolute fact that if they dress like prostitutes, they may be treated like prostitutes, is also key, along with raising sons who know to leave women who dress trashy, alone.
Click to expand...

treeguy64 said:
Hold the hell on, here! I NEVER posted anything saying a woman deserves to be raped, or that rape is about sex. Those who are implying that I did, either can't understand the gist of my post, or are simply jumping on the same old attack strategy, when it comes to chastising any guy who suggests that women need to dress in ways that show respect for themselves! The same goes for guys.
Click to expand...
No you didn’t come directly out and say that. You just strongly suggested it.
 
applecruncher said:
When I was younger (30-40ish) I had a job that required overnight travel. A very attractive co-worker (also female) sometimes went with me. After a day's work sometimes we would go to the hotel bar for a drink. Often we were approached by men wanting to buy us a drink or dance if there was a dance floor.

On more than one occasion when we went to freshen up she would tell me she was going to the guy's room and not to wait up for her. She never knew these guys from a hole in the wall. Maybe they were there for a convention, maybe they just walked in off the street, maybe they gave a phoney name. She had no guarantee that there wasn't an accomplice already in the room... she was liquored up and they could have had a plan for some special "fun and games". :eek:mg1:
Click to expand...

Exactly the type of airheads that end up on "Crime Stories."
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top