Humour, Teasing, Acceptance and the Middle Path...

Yes, just go with the flow, folks, and you will be fine, even if you don'like the water...
 
I am beginning to see the beginnings of what led to my leaving many other forums - namely, the segregation of topics, categories and thought processes into infinitely smaller areas. While I understand Merlin's concern, what I fear is the eventual development of dozens of special-interest cells while the group zeitgeist becomes one of propriety, political correctness and knowing one's place, all formulated by the cell's leaders.

Hardly the Middle Way.
 

Agree with QS - some people need to take it to PM or start a separate "Flirt/Tease" thread instead of polluting other discussions. If anyone wants to interpret that as an "attack", go ahead. I really don't care.
 
I have no problem with threads going off topic... It makes them interesting and the twists and turns are fun as everyone offers an opinion. What I DO have a problem with is the same few people that carry their banter into thread after thread without even trying to contribute to it. It's private conversation that is just pure attention seeking drivel. I can understand why the idea of a separate Flirt/Tease thread hasn't been of interest.. because THEN we could ignore it.


And... Like AC.. if this is considered an attack.. tough. It's my opinion... because I love this forum and don't want to see it ruined either.
 
SifuPhil said:
I am beginning to see the beginnings of what led to my leaving many other forums - namely, the segregation of topics, categories and thought processes into infinitely smaller areas. While I understand Merlin's concern, what I fear is the eventual development of dozens of special-interest cells while the group zeitgeist becomes one of propriety, political correctness and knowing one's place, all formulated by the cell's leaders.

Hardly the Middle Way.
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I agree Phil .... I see this forum as a microcosm of the real world if we can't settle our differences here what chance does humanity have in ending wars anytime soon
 
merlin said:
I agree Phil .... I see this forum as a microcosm of the real world if we can't settle our differences here what chance does humanity have in ending wars anytime soon
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Yes Merlin... But the title of the forum is the SENIOR forum... Not the Merlin and Shali forum. Start your own flirt/Tease thread and have at it.. I started a Wine and Cheese thread just for you.
 
Shalimar said:
Phil, I think Merlin is trying to find an equitable compromise. I am trying to remain centred and balanced among shifting sands. Lol.
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I understand, but "curing" this particular "disease" so often seems to lead to a structure amazingly similar to pre-war Germany.

And, I know that comment will manage to offend someone somewhere but at this point I don't really care. This forum has stood out among all the others chiefly because of its rich mix of member personalities. As soon as certain personality types are placed in padded, locked rooms "for their own safety and well-being" you start down the long, dark road.

I would only add to Merlin's Buddhist philosophy with a wee bit of Taoist thought - go to that which attracts you, avoid what repulses you and make no remarks on either.
 
SifuPhil said:
I understand, but "curing" this particular "disease" so often seems to lead to a structure amazingly similar to pre-war Germany.

And, I know that comment will manage to offend someone somewhere but at this point I don't really care. This forum has stood out among all the others chiefly because of its rich mix of member personalities. As soon as certain personality types are placed in padded, locked rooms "for their own safety and well-being" you start down the long, dark road.

I would only add to Merlin's Buddhist philosophy with a wee bit of Taoist thought - go to that which attracts you, avoid what repulses you and make no remarks on either.
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Isn't it hard to do that when almost all threads are changed into unrelated and personal banter between a handful of people?

But perhaps you are right... I'm just going to put a few people on ignore and then I'll have no problem finding the actual conversation.






 
Thank you Phil, I was beginning to wonder if there truly was room for individuals of a different stripe on this site. You and I butted heads once, but have moved on. Surely if we can find common ground among our disparate opinions, others can also. You have given me hope that resolution is possible. Namaste.
 
As an avid hedonist I say savor the variety of thoughts that go with the "meal" of any thread. Now about my garden, I have narrowed down my pots and planters to a few with spring, summer, and fall offerings, but maybe I will post particulars on the Sleep thread...
 
QuickSilver said:
Isn't it hard to do that when almost all threads are changed into unrelated and personal banter between a handful of people?
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Now, c'mon ... it really isn't ALL threads, is it? ;)

It probably just seems that way! :eek:

I truly do get that such habits seem almost OCD after being exposed to them for so long. My personal wall-thumpers are nail-biters and people who eat with their mouths open, but that's in the real world - Lord knows the online one has dozens of its own examples.

I've found one effective weapon to use against that which displeases me - totally ignoring the act / person / words. Many times, denying them an audience will lead to their disappearance. I know it takes a certain amount of forbearance and it will take time - but if the balance is to be maintained it might be wise to move the weights on the scale slowly rather than precipitously.




 
We have a large contingent of lawyers here but most of them want a nice retainer. How's your cash stash?
 
Not great, Ralphy. Perhaps someone will do pro bono. Seriously, I find the level of hostility expressed by some who hold strong views on forum etiquette, yet readily eschew common courtesy, difficult for this Canadian to fathom.
 
During my career, I have seen up close the devastating affect that words can have. Please, people, even if you are convinced your view is the correct one, people are fragile, and verbal slings often leave horrific permanent wounds. If you can't be kind, at least avoid cruelty.
 
Studies have shown that men and women can seem to be speaking different languages at times. From my own experience I find this to be true. Men can speak a lot gruffer in just the company of men and this habit can carry over at times in mixed company...
 
Shali, I haven't read any cruel words in this thread and I hope that I haven't posted anything that could be construed as cruel anywhere else. I am keenly aware that behind every username and avatar is a real person who carries wounds that we are all unaware of. Sometimes I forget this and get a bit testy, but don't we all occasionally?

Try not to take anything personally. I always ask myself "How much will this matter in a hundred years?" and if the answer is "Not one bit" I make myself let it go. It helps me maintain my equilibrium when it is getting shaky.

:rose::rose::rose::rose::rose::rose::rose::rose:
 
Yes, women have been shown to be much more verbal than men and can really wield the verbal sword, men will threaten to or use violence when they can't keep up verbally...
 
DW, my statement was not directed at you, nor were my remarks around the emotional damage words can cause directed towards myself. I was referencing clients I have known. That said, not everyone has your emotional equilibrium, and things that might not affect you could be taken to heart by a more high strung individual. I am speaking of respect towards our fellow
posters and their feelings.
 
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