I'm Incredibly Depressed

After reading the original posters post I do feel that if they feel depressed than that must be weighing heavy on them no matter what the circumstances are that brought the depression. The thing is though there are obviously many other much better ways to handle this than going onto a forum and making a post about it in my opinion. I would say the majority of us here are not clinically trained and although we are willing to lend an ear and comment there are many more qualified professionals that could help this person out with their depression. It seemed like the depression was an issue enough that it was bothering them enough in there daily life. That to me is warranted more than just making a post on a forum about it.
 

Granny, I'm on another health forum and they have a large Psychology group and people post there for some "support and insights" and get both. I did a little talk therapy many yrs ago and then did a lot of reading in some wonderful spiritual reading books and got a lot from Science of Mind teachings....all that for my own life...everyone has issues and it's good to put it out there sometimes and read what others have to offer.

There is the saying, about hanging one's clothes on lines and when we see other's issues, we will take our own clothes. Something like that.
 
I do know two guys, brothers, who wallow in their depression. Both live like hermits, one disgustingly unkempt. They do not live together, do not see each other. One is three years older than the other. Both have been in therapy for over thirty years. Think it helps? As I see it, they have to pay people to listen to them drone on and on about their miserable lives. I could only tolerate a few minutes of conversation with either one, and only because both were childhood friends. The filthy one goes on and on about what a genius he is, and what a great artist he is. He paints excellent still life pieces, but that's it. Neither one is open to any suggestions about getting out and about, getting a pet, developing new hobbies, etc. Yeah, I believe some people actually do choose to be miserable. They are afraid of becoming fully functioning members of society, afraid that people will see their (real or imagined) faults. We do have a self-proclaimed psychologist in here, at times, but I haven't seen her around in about six months. If she shows up she will, quite predictably, go on about the errors in my post, so stand by. Shally? (Right off the bat, I know that the brothers, as above, give support to the idea that depression may have a genetic component. I know how these guys were raised, though, and that predisposed them to being depressed, in their lives, as I see it.)
 

In my opinion, my comments I thought were helpful. We all go thru losses and having a 16 yr relationship is something to be thankful for...I believe I said something to that effect. If poster doesn't "get that" well, they have to go thru their time ..
 
treeguy64 said:
I do know two guys, brothers, who wallow in their depression. Both live like hermits, one disgustingly unkempt. They do not live together, do not see each other. One is three years older than the other. Both have been in therapy for over thirty years. Think it helps? As I see it, they have to pay people to listen to them drone on and on about their miserable lives. I could only tolerate a few minutes of conversation with either one, and only because both were childhood friends. The filthy one goes on and on about what a genius he is, and what a great artist he is. He paints excellent still life pieces, but that's it. Neither one is open to any suggestions about getting out and about, getting a pet, developing new hobbies, etc. Yeah, I believe some people actually do choose to be miserable. They are afraid of becoming fully functioning members of society, afraid that people will see their (real or imagined) faults. We do have a self-proclaimed psychologist in here, at times, but I haven't seen her around in about six months. If she shows up she will, quite predictably, go on about the errors in my post, so stand by. Shally? (Right off the bat, I know that the brothers, as above, give support to the idea that depression may have a genetic component. I know how these guys were raised, though, and that predisposed them to being depressed, in their lives, as I see it.)
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And then there are the fortunate ones who can find contentment sitting in a swing on their porch and listening to the birds and seeing nature - this was my mom. She came into this world with very little and appreciated so much...
 
treeguy64 said:
I do know two guys, brothers, who wallow in their depression. Both live like hermits, one disgustingly unkempt. They do not live together, do not see each other. One is three years older than the other. Both have been in therapy for over thirty years. Think it helps? As I see it, they have to pay people to listen to them drone on and on about their miserable lives. I could only tolerate a few minutes of conversation with either one, and only because both were childhood friends. The filthy one goes on and on about what a genius he is, and what a great artist he is. He paints excellent still life pieces, but that's it. Neither one is open to any suggestions about getting out and about, getting a pet, developing new hobbies, etc. Yeah, I believe some people actually do choose to be miserable. They are afraid of becoming fully functioning members of society, afraid that people will see their (real or imagined) faults. We do have a self-proclaimed psychologist in here, at times, but I haven't seen her around in about six months. If she shows up she will, quite predictably, go on about the errors in my post, so stand by. Shally? (Right off the bat, I know that the brothers, as above, give support to the idea that depression may have a genetic component. I know how these guys were raised, though, and that predisposed them to being depressed, in their lives, as I see it.)
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Apparently depression can have a genetic component that can be passed down and make us more predisposed to depression. I think people also adopt behaviour to cope with their depression, like withdrawing from society and not caring what others think. This can become their norm so inadvertently create their own depression without quite understanding it.

Self awareness is something healthy mental functioning people have. There are many people in the world like this and it’s sad. Some people are just plain lazy and there is nothing you can do for somebody who refuses help.

Some people get stuck in victim mode and stay there cause it’s easier. Having a conversation with these people is exhausting.
Bad things are always happening to them and they never take any responsibility for their unhealthy attitude. It’s a consistent blame game of ‘woe is me.’
 
Being deepy depressed is serious, you might consider going to your family doctor and explain that you had just ended a long time relationship and need help. He will probably order you a mild anti depressant that will help you. It is no shame to ask for help when you are depressed and can't pull out of it. Life is to short to be sad.
Nihil said:
My now ex girlfriend told me last night that whenever I touched her, she felt violated. I too have felt this way about other women. She's been giving me the cold shoulder for a longtime. Her interactions with me have been obviously disingenuous. She didn't appreciate my abilities and interests. She would only do something with me if it's what she wanted to do. I didn't appreciate her interests and abilities either. A while back, I let her know that I pretended to enjoy doing the things she likes, but she wouldn't do the same for me. That made her uncomfortable. We were together 16 years. Her daughter graduated high school, so I guess we're no longer staying together for the child.


I have no one to talk to. People seem like some combination of superficial, oblivious, and controlling. I'm too old to put up with people. I can't be a happy go lucky absurdist anymore. I'm stuck in hard cold reality by myself.
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There is some scientific evidence that shows that serious depression is predisposed inherited
but that it is not definite or certain for everyone. Sometimes there's not much others can say to
you except the usual advice. But the OP and others may be too depressed to walk or eat or listen
to music. You can bring yourself down talking about it too much and who will listen? I rarely get
phone calls and when I call a friend, he usually doesn't answer or call back soon.
 
Keesha said:
I think people also adopt behaviour to cope with their depression, like withdrawing from society and not caring what others think. This can become their norm so inadvertently create their own depression without quite understanding it.
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I cope with society by staying outside of it. I've noticed that people hold onto sentiments they want to hear. I notice there are even people selling these words to them. Many want confirmation that they live in a magical show starring them. Some want to sell the illusion of a fantasy world.

People get confused and angry with me because I don't buy into fads. They think I'm either ignorant or stupid. In their eyes, conformity is an easy requirement.Conformity provides the comforting feelings people want to have.

Until the USA becomes North Korea, I'll remain outside society. I just have to dodge media and peer pressure. I've been sentenced to frustration and loneliness. If the government ever threatens me with torture, I will become a model citizen.
 
Nihil said:
I cope with society by staying outside of it. I've notice that people hold onto sentiments they want to hear. I notice there are even people selling these words to them. Many want confirmation that they live in a magical show starring them. Some want sell the illusion of a fantasy world.


People get confused and angry with me because I don't buy into fads. They think I'm either ignorant or stupid. In their eyes, conformity is an easy requirement.Conformity provides the comforting feelings people want to have.


Until the USA becomes North Korea, I'll remain outside society. I just have to dodge media and peer pressure. I've been sentenced to frustration and loneliness. If the government ever threatens me with torture, I will become a model citizen.
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I'm unsure of your message but I wish you well. I hope you're feeling better...
 
Nihil said:
I cope with society by staying outside of it. I've notice that people hold onto sentiments they want to hear. I notice there are even people selling these words to them. Many want confirmation that they live in a magical show starring them. Some want sell the illusion of a fantasy world.


People get confused and angry with me because I don't buy into fads. They think I'm either ignorant or stupid. In their eyes, conformity is an easy requirement.Conformity provides the comforting feelings people want to have.


Until the USA becomes North Korea, I'll remain outside society. I just have to dodge media and peer pressure. I've been sentenced to frustration and loneliness. If the government ever threatens me with torture, I will become a model citizen.
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So were you expecting the 16 yr relationship to be the answer to your life's story? Expecting that from another person is a heavy expectation on the other. Too much GOOD life out there.
 
jaminhealth said:
So were you expecting the 16 yr relationship to be the answer to your life's story? Expecting that from another person is a heavy expectation on the other. Too much GOOD life out there.
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We've got a lot invested in each other's happiness, so we're awkwardly working things out. The plot twist is that my daughter is totally torqued, as she had other plans for her mother.
 
Nihil,

You are a prime example of what I was talking about and so am I. For whatever reasons, we don’t interact with mainstream society the same.


You bring up the same feelings I have towards professional help in that you are paying someone to say the things you want to hear but a good counsellor won’t do that. A good counsellor is a trained professional who listens to what you have to say as an unbiased listener/observer and repeats what you’ve stated back to you so that you might better understand it.


Sometimes we can get stuck in perpetual bad habits that keep us locked into an unhealthy mind set. Since we have no people around to give us feedback we don’t realize how out of norm we are to mainstream society but they will definitely let us know in a heartbeat.


Society likes conformity because it’s predictable. People who abide to their faith, or social structure do so for many reasons but I would think it’s mainly to keep the pack they have predictably civil. If everyone follows suite on the fundamentals of socializing then it’s easier to have some more control over the people and while we are human beings we still carry basic characteristics of pack animals.


People don’t really get me either but who truly gets anyone? That’s why there’s a thread about it here on the site. “Do people really understand who you are?” Most people answered no and that they don’t expect people to either.


One of the negative things about depression is that you have too much time to think about things. Like Victor mentioned and I fully agree with him, sometimes talking about it or trying to dissect your emotional struggle can add to the depression but I certainly can empathize.


Depression is without a doubt ,a narcissistic disorder and it’s sometimes really difficult to get out of this type of mindset without a good distraction which could be what brought you here. It’s a great distraction but the only problem with people who have been on their own for a long time is that they have been socially spoiled.


They eat when they want.
Sleep when they want.
Go outside when they want or don’t go outside at all if they don’t want to.
Socialize with others when they want or don’t socialize at all.


Depression and other mental disorders go hand on hand. We each have our own ways of dealing with it . Hibernating from the world is certainly an option but it has it consequences.
 
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Keesha,

Paying someone to listen is a bummer. That's what friends used to be for. Perhaps friendship has become a commodity. I was just telling an old friend that he should ask his friend if he likes who he's becoming before he gets socked in the jaw. A friendly reminder is always better than a punch in the face.
 
Yes but how many friends do you have that will sit directly across from you and honestly help you?
They have their own lives, their own worries and concerns. Since society is conditioned to be nice then the chance of actually getting honest feedback is slim to none. That’s not to say there aren’t some great friendships out there, as I’m sure there are but they can’t be expected to help and even if they do , there is only so much they can do. Additionally as a friend most people don’t wish to burden the friend with their troubles. Even if they did console us at the time it’s more of a bandaid.
 
Keesha said:
Yes but how many friends do you have that will sit directly across from you and honestly help you?
They have their own lives, their own worries and concerns. Since society is conditioned to be nice then the chance of actually getting honest feedback is slim to none. That’s not to say there aren’t some great friendships out there, as I’m sure there are but they can’t be expected to help and even if they do , there is only so much they can do. Additionally as a friend most people don’t wish to burden the friend with their troubles. Even if they did console us at the time it’s more of a bandaid.
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I understand that society is completely backwards and counterproductive. I'm pretty sure some wealthy and influential people like it this way.
 
Nihil,
your screen name signifies Nothing or meaninglessness. Don't know how to respond.
I am not a nihilist, are you? It's a untenable philosophy that I am familiar with. It is easy having opinions
but not easy finding facts and strong evidence for them.

Yes paying someone for therapy may be a bummer but the alternative is no one.
I do not recommend using your friends this way.
If he or she helps you and is worth the time and money then be glad for it.

.
 
Nihilist -a person who rejects all religious and moral principles.


If what we believe is projected onto others, it’s no wonder you have a difficult time with society
note: I didn’t mean that to sound judgmental. Just factual
 
Nihil said:
My now ex girlfriend told me last night that whenever...
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Nihil is short for Nihilist? But you said you had a girlfriend in your opening post. That would mean you believe in love. Nihilists believe everything is meaningless. I think your first step on the road to recovery is to acknowledge that you are not a Nihilist because your life does in fact have meaning...proof being, you believe in love.

Whether or not you and your girlfriend are splitting up has nothing to do with the fact that you believe in love. You love people...not all but some. You probably love dogs or cats. You're capable of love. Own it. Focus on it. Nurture it. Enjoy the feel of it. Then reach out and show your love...because that feels even better.

I don't know if you're into drugs, alcohol, or violent games/movies/tv but if so, I would suggest removing yourself from that as it will rob you of all feeling. It will steal that pleasure from you. It will win. Don't let it win.


 

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