Interesting court case

Toomuchstuff said:
You're discussing the "what if's" . The fact is , he was raised having everything he ever wanted . Now the parents expect him to be a "grown up". It doesn't work that way . Never has ..... never will .
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or, as is sometimes said, individuals who want all the 'rights' without the attached 'responsibilities.'
 

OP/rgp has lost focus and deviated from the issue (therefore I'm not reading/replying to anymore of his posts here).

The issue is NOT caring for older parents...that has nothing to do with anything.

The issue, as stated in this link, is son being evicted from parent's house. He's a spoiled, lazy, deadbeat dad and a moocher. As I said earlier, he should be mopping floors or working fast food or doing something. He's not even contributing to the care of his child...hope child support enforcement comes after that $1,100, although the mother of his kid is probably as lenient as his parents.

Also - I fault the parents for 1) dilly-dallying around with polite notes (vs formal eviction) and 2) giving him $1,100 to help him get started. They should not have given him a dime.

​
https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/22/us/judge-rules-son-must-move-out-new-york-trnd/index.html
 
rgp said:
Well, now you're getting my point...where is the line drawn ? and who draws it ?

I hadn't heard of his 'poor work' record...my questions are based on what I did hear..

BTW, I am not agreeing with him & or his parents , just discussing. I feel we may not be hearing all there is to hear / know ?
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The 'poor work record' is as per the CNN report, which quotes one of his parents' eviction notices to him.
ww.cnn.com/2018/05/22/us/judge-rules-son-must-move-out-new-york-trnd/index.html

I hadn't heard he was a deadbeat dad.

To respond to a previous post that suggests this lout may be a future whiz-kid, let's just say he's already very far behind.

Bill Gates co-founded Microsoft at age 20 and by the time he was 28 the company already had over $50 million in annual sales. He had long since moved from his parents' home by then. Steve Jobs had a very similar time arc. Jeff Bezos graduated Princeton at age 23 or 24 and held executive level positions thereafter. He started Amazon before turning 30. Zuckerberg started Facebook when he was in his sophomore year of college - at Harvard.

I cannot imagine that these movers and shakers ever shared many work ethic traits with this moocher and lazer.
 
Shalimar said:
Actually, caring for elderly parents to the best of one’s ability is still a cultural norm. It can take many different forms.
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Maybe, maybe not. Certainly it was the norm at one time, but I think that has changed. My mother (soon to be 95) certainly does not want any of her children taking care of her or our step father. I 100% do not want my son (or grands) taking care of me when I get to that point.

But to this topic, I saw the son being interviewed after the hearing, and it was very uncomfortable to watch. The son has serious issues, and needs help beyond what a parent can provide.
 
applecruncher said:
OP/rgp has lost focus and deviated from the issue (therefore I'm not reading/replying to anymore of his posts here).

The issue is NOT caring for older parents...that has nothing to do with anything.

The issue, as stated in this link, is son being evicted from parent's house. He's a spoiled, lazy, deadbeat dad and a moocher. As I said earlier, he should be mopping floors or working fast food or doing something. He's not even contributing to the care of his child...hope child support enforcement comes after that $1,100, although the mother of his kid is probably as lenient as his parents.

Also - I fault the parents for 1) dilly-dallying around with polite notes (vs formal eviction) and 2) giving him $1,100 to help him get started. They should not have given him a dime.

​
https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/22/us/judge-rules-son-must-move-out-new-york-trnd/index.html
Click to expand...



I haven't lost focus of anything...but if your belief that i have makes you ignore me in the future?...I'm good with that!
 
Hoot N Annie said:
Maybe, maybe not. Certainly it was the norm at one time, but I think that has changed. My mother (soon to be 95) certainly does not want any of her children taking care of her or our step father. I 100% do not want my son (or grands) taking care of me when I get to that point.

But to this topic, I saw the son being interviewed after the hearing, and it was very uncomfortable to watch. The son has serious issues, and needs help beyond what a parent can provide.
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I saw that same interview, and yes, it was uncomfortable. He appears to feel that he has the right to live there as long as he wants whether they want him there or not. He said he wasn't looking for a job, as I recall it. IMHO, he should be ashamed of himself. A 30 year old healthy male person should not be mooching off his parents. Evidently he lost his last job because he wouldn't show up on a Saturday. If your job says show up on Saturday, you show up on Saturday. IMHO the guy is a deadbeat.
 
My opinion (since we all have them) is that we know nothing about this family dynamics and it's all guessing. The unfortunate thing is that this was aired in public because of the unusual legal suit. I do know that culture has a lot to do with how families interact with each other. The American culture (you know the ones who believe the only real Americans are the descendants of those who came over on the Mayflower) believe they raise the kids until 18 and then push them out of the nest and only come back when whey have grand children for you. There are real differences in other cultures (yes, even in America) where families really do care for each other and the old take care of the young and then the young take care of older parents. I am one of them. I will always take care of my elderly parents (and now only my dad) no matter what, just as they have taken care of me. It's mostly the culture of Hawaii. That's how we are, and how I will never understand mainland culture.
 
I know of a situation right now where adult woman got divorced, moved in with aging Mom. Then adult daughter's son and wife moved in when he stopped working due to workmanship comp claim. Ok so far but then son and daughter in law (not absolutely sure if married) proceed to have 4 children one after the other.
The comp claim has been settled and I'm interested to see if they'll leave.
 
My kids were all informed they were to leave the nest once they went to college.
I would never say they couldn't come back for a time in an EMERGENCY but otherwise would be highly discouraged.
Funny none of them ever hesitated on leaving and never showed any signs of wanting to come back here to live.
Good I raised them right.
 
hearlady said:
My kids were all informed they were to leave the nest once they went to college.
I would never say they couldn't come back for a time in an EMERGENCY but otherwise would be highly discouraged.
Funny none of them ever hesitated on leaving and never showed any signs of wanting to come back here to live.
Good I raised them right.
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I basically agree with your viewpoint.
Also, though, it seems (words/terms some people hate) healthy-minded, normal young adults would want that- not to 'get away as fast as possible,' but simply eager to take steps into their own independent lives.
I'm guessing most of us can look back and recall how happy and excited we were over our first apartments, first real jobs, etc.

What got me about the news story specifically: while the 30-year-old 'kid' refused to consider other people's (parents) wishes, needs, and rights, and refused to get a job or do anything else constructive, his excuse for it all was he was 'trying to get custody' of his child.
 
My kids went to a local university. We offered to pay all tuition, books and associated schooling costs through their Bachelor's degrees, plus share some of their living expenses like auto insurance and cell phone bills if they lived at home, maintained full course loads, and worked part-time. (With three kids close in age we couldn't afford to support four households yet hated the idea of them graduating college with massive student loans to pay off.)

They lived with us until their mid-twenties, and I even had a GF and a BF under my roof for the last year of it. It was a wonderful experience, a true laugh-riot to have seven happy adults under one roof. We got on extraordinarily well. Everyone worked together and the kids would often pay for and pick up groceries or take out for everyone while on their way home from someplace. I can honestly say it was one of my favorite periods of life and I was sad to see it end. We went from the full gang to empty nesters in less than six months as it turned out.

My husband and I did what we could to support our kids in successful launching and so far, so good. It's been nearly ten years since they moved out and all are self-sufficient, contributing members of society. We know just how fortunate we are on that score.
 
StarSong said:
My kids went to a local university. We offered to pay all tuition, books and associated schooling costs through their Bachelor's degrees, plus share some of their living expenses like auto insurance and cell phone bills if they lived at home, maintained full course loads, and worked part-time. (With three kids close in age we couldn't afford to support four households yet hated the idea of them graduating college with massive student loans to pay off.)

They lived with us until their mid-twenties, and I even had a GF and a BF under my roof for the last year of it. It was a wonderful experience, a true laugh-riot to have seven happy adults under one roof. We got on extraordinarily well. Everyone worked together and the kids would often pay for and pick up groceries or take out for everyone while on their way home from someplace. I can honestly say it was one of my favorite periods of life and I was sad to see it end. We went from the full gang to empty nesters in less than six months as it turned out.

My husband and I did what we could to support our kids in successful launching and so far, so good. It's been nearly ten years since they moved out and all are self-sufficient, contributing members of society. We know just how fortunate we are on that score.
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I wish it could be like that for everyone. There is something to be said for blending generations and the warmth of family around, too.
 
In a world where every kid gets a cookie and a trophy for just showing up.

Alex Jones of InfoWars gives this 30 year old guy $3,000.00 to help him move out of his parents house.
 
The rule in my house was .... live at home with all benefits as long as you are in school, taking a full class load and making acceptable grades. Anything less than full class load and you must have a part time job.

Finish or stop school and continue to live at home means a full time job, pay rent and do own personal chores such as laundry, cleaning own room and helping with other household chores. All left nest in good time and on their own.
 
We have 5 kids and they could all have stayed here forever as far as I'm concerned. :D They are great kids and we have fun together, but unfortunately they all grew up and became independent. A couple of them bounced in and out but eventually flew the coop. If they ever needed to come home, their keys still fit the lock.
 

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