Is happiness really a choice???

Pepper said:
Is being calm a choice, because I'm a nervous wreck most of the time and I can't calm down. I don't know what comes first, am I always physically shaking because I'm nervous, or am I nervous because I'm always shaking?

Today I must arrange AccessARide. A part of me would rather die, it fills me with such fear........
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And today's lesson for me is - - - - don't even think of calling "AccessARide !!

On a lighter note, Pepper, hope you have good luck with your transportation plans. 😉
 

chic said:
This is completely true and has happened in my family more than once but at least they did not have to live with horrific injuries. :cry:
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You know, in the stories I've read, I actually feel more sorry for those that survive a suicide attempt. The injuries can be horrific, and vary based on the method attempted. It would be next level "attention seeking".
 
chic said:
True, but I think we need to watch out for toxic positivity and be in touch with our true feelings at all times. It can help to accept yourself, love and forgive yourself no matter what. None of us is perfect.
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Depression, especially clinical depression, robs you of this ability. There is a general thought that depressed people actually see the world as it really is. They lack the ability to think positive, to see around the corner to better times, etc. Depression is a horrific illness and condition. It doesn't so much drag you down as simply take you to the bottom and anchor you there. There can be a very real sense of hopelessness.
 

gruntlabor said:
I am not a psychologist, and, please, I mean no offense, but I believe that the mentally ill person not only deserves, but has an essential need for an emotionally healthy, detached professional to guide him through his troubles.
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OMG, yes! Without professionals I know I'd not be here today. You have to trust them, you have to stick with it. No talks with friends and colleagues is a substitute.
 
About 18 months ago I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Peripheral Neuropathy. It got so bad I couldn't find away to rid myself of the intense pain. At one point I gave up and went to the local pond and walked in and tried to drown myself. I just got lungs full of yucky pond water. I went right home and called my doctors office. They said go to the ER. I had to call Misa at work to come and get me. I stayed 4 days, and all they gave me was Gabapentin, and PT. I talked with a CBT therapist, and that helped confirm many of the mental and emotional techniques I have developed to cope with intense pain and suffering.

Then I reached out to someone on the Senior Forum. She received me with open arms, and she was just what I needed to be able to ask questions and talk to about various aspects of life. I can't imagine being able to "fix" myself without her gracious friendship. I have even more physical problems now, but I am finding ways to grow old and fall apart at the same time. :)

Sometimes it feels like walking on a razor's edge.
 
I am trying desperately to calm myself. I am repeating the phrase "I am confident. I am calm." Not really working but I'm doing it anyway. AAR soon. I am afraid of them since I was assaulted. My claim was not believed. I reopened case. Wouldn't surprise me if all the blame put on me. Can even imagine being denied service. I WISH! Seeing my grandson is at stake; yet I fear the experience so much.......being taken to neighborhoods with open gang activity. Getting home so late. Getting there so late. Dealing with bathroom issues when shared ride goes wrong. How is all this conducive to happiness?
 
An oversimplification, perhaps,
Pepper said:
I am trying desperately to calm myself. I am repeating the phrase "I am confident. I am calm." Not really working but I'm doing it anyway. AAR soon. I am afraid of them since I was assaulted. My claim was not believed. I reopened case. Wouldn't surprise me if all the blame put on me. Can even imagine being denied service. I WISH! Seeing my grandson is at stake; yet I fear the experience so much.......being taken to neighborhoods with open gang activity. Getting home so late. Getting there so late. Dealing with bathroom issues when shared ride goes wrong. How is all this conducive to happiness?
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OMG. Assaulted? Of course you are not calm! You are traumatised. Who wouldn’t be? Not conducive to happiness at all. Your response is valid. I applaud your bravery in reopening your case. I don’t think I would have the

courage. God, I admire you. Please keep sharing your fear with us. We can’t take away your pain, but we love you, and will do our best to stand beside you and offer comfort. Lady, you shine, even in your agony, you burn bright. This brought me to tears. 🤗💕
 
Pepper said:
I am trying desperately to calm myself. I am repeating the phrase "I am confident. I am calm." Not really working but I'm doing it anyway. AAR soon. I am afraid of them since I was assaulted. My claim was not believed. I reopened case. Wouldn't surprise me if all the blame put on me. Can even imagine being denied service. I WISH! Seeing my grandson is at stake; yet I fear the experience so much.......being taken to neighborhoods with open gang activity. Getting home so late. Getting there so late. Dealing with bathroom issues when shared ride goes wrong. How is all this conducive to happiness?
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@Pepper what strikes me right away is the language you choose. "I am DESPERATELY trying to calm myself. When anyone is desperate about anything they are not in a state conducive to producing calm. Is there anything that does make you feel calm? Is your present state all related to this particular issue that is worrying you? As valid as your concern is have you received qualified advice on how best to proceed? Would it make you feel better if you did?
 
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chic said:
@Pepper what strikes me right away is the language you choose. "I am DESPERATELY trying to calm myself. When anyone is desperate about anything they are not in a state conducive to producing calm. Is there anything that does make you feel calm? Is your present state all related to this particular issue that is worrying you? As valid as your concern is have you received qualified advice on how best to proceed? Would it make you feel better if you did?
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You are so right. That I didn't see that myself is part of my problem. Thank you, my friend, for this valuable insight!
 
Pepper said:
You are so right. That I didn't see that myself is part of my problem. Thank you, my friend, for this valuable insight!
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I have been under a doctor's care for the past two years with a terminal diagnosis. I have already lived longer than my doctor thought I would. But now I have quit the chemo treatments because they seemed to be doing nothing but to make me miserably sick all the time.
I had also become very anxious and depressed over the whole situation and was finding it difficult to function on a day to day basis.
3 weeks ago I went into hospice care, and what a blessing it has been. There are several drugs they prescribed for me which have made me so much more comfortable, but the one I want to tell you about is called Lorazepam.
It is an anti-anxiety antidepressant, and it has made such a remarkable difference for me. I feel good again, normal, and I can function and do all the things I need to do and many of the things I enjoy doing but no longer could do. It has made such a difference for me, and I think it could for you too. Or something similar to it that your doctor could prescribe for you. Talk to your doctor. He/she will know what to do.
 
chic said:
Do you believe we are the authors of our happiness?
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Nope. It isn't a thing one can will. However one can try to steer a course through life that provides a balanced 'diet' of experiences which provide physical, intellectual and spiritual stimulation. But one has to notice what needs to be included and that can change over time. During depression, obviously, happiness can be elusive.
 
sailormann said:
I have been under a doctor's care for the past two years with a terminal diagnosis. I have already lived longer than my doctor thought I would. But now I have quit the chemo treatments because they seemed to be doing nothing but to make me miserably sick all the time.
I had also become very anxious and depressed over the whole situation and was finding it difficult to function on a day to day basis.
3 weeks ago I went into hospice care, and what a blessing it has been. There are several drugs they prescribed for me which have made me so much more comfortable, but the one I want to tell you about is called Lorazepam.
It is an anti-anxiety antidepressant, and it has made such a remarkable difference for me. I feel good again, normal, and I can function and do all the things I need to do and many of the things I enjoy doing but no longer could do. It has made such a difference for me, and I think it could for you too. Or something similar to it that your doctor could prescribe for you. Talk to your doctor. He/she will know what to do.
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Doctors won't prescribe that anymore. It works so well.
 
I take Xanax @sailormann. Basically the same. They won't do a switch, as a matter of fact their goal is to "wean" me off it, because, as @chic says, "It works so well." Thank you for your input, and best of luck to you.
 
Benzos can be quite addictive though and are often abused. I believe there are issues getting off them too if taken steadily.

I have some Xanax I've held onto for a very long time. I only used it for panic attacks, and seldom took more than 1/8 of the originally prescribed dose. Even if it is a placebo at that level it helped and stretched my supply for many years.

I haven't taken any for months now. Escitalopram at a low dose has been preventing attacks for me.
 

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