Is spanking your child an effective way to discipline? Do you think it is ok at times?

Growing up I was very lucky and never got spanked. My Mom would come at me with a wooden spoon to hit me but my older sister would stand in front of me knowing my Mom would never hit her. I never spanked my kids I just told them to stop what they were doing and they listened to me.
 
I spanked my son on occasion but didn't have to do it often. He has taken to FB and the interactive radio station he deejayed on to mention how he's so glad I disciplined him the way I did. And he'd say my Mama (whatever expressions he'd use to refer to spanking) and "she didn't play." He credits my methods for keeping him in line and he always mentions that no matter what he always knew I loved him. I took a child psychology class in college, where I started as an adult (by then my son was a teen). All of us in the class admitted to being spanked when we were young. We were from all different backgrounds, ethnicities and I suspect economic statuses. Even the professor said he'd been spanked and we all agreed we were none the worse for wear. BTW...If I acted out, my mother would send me outside to get a switch she could use. That wasn't uncommon in my neck of the woods. But I don't remember getting spanked often either. That's one of the ways parents disciplined back in the day and guess what....? We didn't have children cursing their parents out. We didn't have random beat downs of seniors or anyone else..just for the heck of it. We didn't have school shootings..not one. I must add that I do believe there's a difference between spanking and abusing a child.
 
Shalimar said:
I respectfully disagree. I believe problems start when big people use fear and pain in an attempt to control children. A saying among mental health professionals: “children who have been spanked yet grow up to be normal, productive adults, do so in spite of corporal punishment, not because of it.”
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Another saying from children: "My parents spanked me & it taught me to respect them."
Uh, no......you're confusing "Respect" with "Fear."
I feared my mother - until I was big enough to hit her back.
 
I was spanked as a child, and learned what not to do from it. As it turns out, fear and pain are powerful, effective teachers.

And I'm old enough to remember when Burno Bettelheim was highly regarded, and "The Children of the Dream" was required reading, only later to find out he was a fraud, as was his work.
 
My old parents were very "old school" and I got my fair share of bruises. The only bone I ever broke was when my Dad kicked me in the behind and broke my tailbone....I had to carry a "doughnut" seat cushion to school for about a month. My Mom kept a fly swatter handy, and I got smacked with that several times. When I turned 18, and joined the military, it was almost a relief to get away from them. When I got out of the military, I began a career 100's of miles away, and only visited them a half dozen times, over the years.

When we had kids, I vowed Never to give them more than a semi-gentle hand slap. When they were younger, their punishment was "go stand in the corner for 15 minutes", and in their teen years, we suspended their privileges, and/or their allowance.

I see Nothing to be gained by beating a child....there are far better ways to get their attention. Even though my attitude towards my parents "softened" over the years, I never became close to them.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I spanked my son on occasion but didn't have to do it often. He has taken to FB and the interactive radio station he deejayed on to mention how he's so glad I disciplined him the way I did. And he'd say my Mama (whatever expressions he'd use to refer to spanking) and "she didn't play." He credits my methods for keeping him in line and he always mentions that no matter what he always knew I loved him. I took a child psychology class in college, where I started as an adult (by then my son was a teen). All of us in the class admitted to being spanked when we were young. We were from all different backgrounds, ethnicities and I suspect economic statuses. Even the professor said he'd been spanked and we all agreed we were none the worse for wear. BTW...If I acted out, my mother would send me outside to get a switch she could use. That wasn't uncommon in my neck of the woods. But I don't remember getting spanked often either. That's one of the ways parents disciplined back in the day and guess what....? We didn't have children cursing their parents out. We didn't have random beat downs of seniors or anyone else..just for the heck of it. We didn't have school shootings..not one. I must add that I do believe there's a difference between spanking and abusing a child.
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I respectfully disagree, there are now decades of stats indicating otherwise. Now, mental health professionals unequivocally condemn spanking.
 
Shalimar said:
I respectfully disagree, there are now decades of stats indicating otherwise. Now, mental health professionals unequivocally condemn spanking.
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Decades of stats indicating otherwise what? Are they indicating that parents, teachers and others didn't get more respect back then? That there were school shootings every time you turned around back then? You need to post what the otherwise is. My son is 54 years old and he's a good, kind, respectful person. So are the friends he grew up with who had the same kind of upbringing. They are Gen-X'ers to be proud of. Apparently we did something right as parents.
 
I had public elementary teachers who hit kids @OneEyedDiva. It made me hate and be frightened of those teachers who did that. I was so nervous I started pulling out my own hair. Negative, life long effects, though I early on stopped the hair pulling thank goodness. Anyway, you seem quite defensive about this approach and I know we're coming from different places on this. I don't know enough to counter your arguments. See, for me, the pick out your own switch story is something out of the realm of my experiences.
 
Can you imagine that if you transgressed at work it would result in corporal punishment?

The catholic school that I went to ruled with an eight inch long, one inch thick, heavy leather strap.

If you cannot assert your authority without resorting to physical punishment what message are you sending out?
 
I'll admit to not being a darling little angel when growing up so at home or in school I never got a spanking that I didn't deserve.......I'm none the worse for it and I don't think that I turned out half bad.
 
I strongly condemn physical violence as a means of "teaching" kids. My father was a "spare the rod and spoil the child" adherent and spanked me with his belt - leaving welts on my legs. As a result I never trusted him and though it took me a number of years to finally admit it to myself, but I was finally able to acknowledge that I didn't much like him either. My own kids were not victims of such nasty "discipline" and they worked out fine. Most "shooters" come from dysfunctional homes!
 
horseless carriage said:
Can you imagine that if you transgressed at work it would result in corporal punishment?

The catholic school that I went to ruled with an eight inch long, one inch thick, heavy leather strap.

If you cannot assert your authority without resorting to physical punishment what message are you sending out?
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Not half as bad as the "message" I sent out to a 4th grade teacher (around 300 lbs) who grabbed my arm & dragged me to a corner because I couldn't read the blackboard due to undiagnosed nearsightedness & she thought I was faking just to get out of schoolwork.
She & I were both transferred to different schools. I think she learned something.
 
Raddragn said:
I strongly condemn physical violence as a means of "teaching" kids. My father was a "spare the rod and spoil the child" adherent and spanked me with his belt - leaving welts on my legs. As a result I never trusted him and though it took me a number of years to finally admit it to myself, but I was finally able to acknowledge that I didn't much like him either. My own kids were not victims of such nasty "discipline" and they worked out fine. Most "shooters" come from dysfunctional homes!
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They sure do. So did Jeffrey Dahmer, whose father was interviewed on "60 Minutes" after his son was murdered in prison.
He proudly stated, "I don't know where Jeffrey went wrong - whenever he misbehaved, I spanked him real good."
 
Getting spanked as a child can lead to a host of mental health problems in adulthood and other health problems Adults who were spanked as children “regularly die at a younger age of cancer, heart disease, and respiratory illnesses.” credible research shows.

Some excuse themselves by saying it was done “for their own good” …hitting someone for their own good? What a sad statement. No I was not spanked as a child.

Some people say they were spanked as a child and “I turned out OK” …I challenge that, because it shows up somewhere during their life. Somewhere, somehow, the childhood abuse raises its ugly head.

Don’t touch a child unless it’s to hug them. When humans know better, they should do better.
 

Is spanking your child an effective way to discipline? Do you think it is ok at times?​


I really don't know

I've seen it administered by my childhood friend's folks
Didn't like seeing it
Seems it was done in anger
My friends always seemed to garner a resolve from it
Like 'One day....he's gonna get his' kinda resolve

Maybe there's a place for it
Some kids may require it
But can't ever be in anger
or severe
Discipline should never be a release


Never had a switching growing up

Mom came from a loud family
So her punishment was pretty much just hollering you to deaf

Dad was soft spoken
Mild mannered

All he had to do was give you a look
Caused us all to become freaking sorry...regretting whatever it was

Thinking about it, I too may have that look

ol me.jpg



Never had to lay a hand on our little cherubs
 
I've learned more just now after reading everyone's posts on my topic.
Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences and thoughts, is appreciated.
 
Gary O' said:
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Thinking about it, I too may have that look.
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Throughout my career as a manager in the logistics industry I have had to deal with many a miscreant.
There was one very valuable lesson that I learned from the head teacher at the school that I went to.
He knew when what he was hearing was fact or fiction. If you were making it up he would allow his spectacles
to slide down his nose, just enough so that he could glare at you, a look of pure napalm, over the rim of his specs.

The times I did that, when hearing some cock and bull tale, from some halfwit who thinks that I am fooled.
Then came the time, when inside the warehouse, I overheard two of the workers commenting about the uncomfortable
experience of sitting in my office whilst I did that fixed stare that I had remembered my head teacher using to great effect.

"I f***ing hate it when he stares at you over the top of his specs," one of them said. I carried on walking, didn't want them
to know of my presence, but I did punch the air, gave out a long, "Yessssssss!" And said a quiet thank you to that head teacher.
Get that "look" right and even the toughest of them squirm.

​

 
It didn’t hurt us when we were growing up it was called discipline
But OH NO you can’t slap the little darlings now as it’s called child abuse 😵‍💫😵‍💫
 
Mum was always chasing me around the cars to get me indoor but I could run faster than her 😂😂😂
She never slapped me much
She called me her WHIPPERSNAPPER
 

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