Is This Insane? (Send an apology letter to HS girlfriend)

oldman

oldman

Well-known Member
Location
PA
A friend in Oklahoma and I were talking on the phone and out of the blue he starts a conversation about regrets he has been thinking about. He asked me if I thought it would be OK if he wrote a letter to his former girlfriend that he had while in high school and ask for her forgiveness. He’s 70 years old now and I reminded him of that, but he said “So, what do you think?”

I asked him why a letter? He said that he wants to apologize to her for being a rotten boyfriend. He continued on that he used to try to manipulate her, he would use her, he never complimented her about her hair and dress, plus more stuff that I forget. I never knew her or even saw a picture of her. I did ask him if she was still alive and he said she was and so was her husband.

I told him to forget it and that way he has a good chance of staying alive. He laughed, but I was serious. So, was I right or wrong?
 

oldman said:
A friend in Oklahoma and I were talking on the phone and out of the blue he starts a conversation about regrets he has been thinking about. He asked me if I thought it would be OK if he wrote a letter to his former girlfriend that he had while in high school and ask for her forgiveness. He’s 70 years old now and I reminded him of that, but he said “So, what do you think?”

I asked him why a letter? He said that he wants to apologize to her for being a rotten boyfriend. He continued on that he used to try to manipulate her, he would use her, he never complimented her about her hair and dress, plus more stuff that I forget. I never knew her or even saw a picture of her. I did ask him if she was still alive and he said she was and so was her husband.

I told him to forget it and that way he has a good chance of staying alive. He laughed, but I was serious. So, was I right or wrong?
Click to expand...
If he was that bad to her, I'm pretty sure she has gotten over him! Why stir up bad memories?
 
oldman said:
A friend in Oklahoma and I were talking on the phone and out of the blue he starts a conversation about regrets he has been thinking about. He asked me if I thought it would be OK if he wrote a letter to his former girlfriend that he had while in high school and ask for her forgiveness. He’s 70 years old now and I reminded him of that, but he said “So, what do you think?”

I asked him why a letter? He said that he wants to apologize to her for being a rotten boyfriend. He continued on that he used to try to manipulate her, he would use her, he never complimented her about her hair and dress, plus more stuff that I forget. I never knew her or even saw a picture of her. I did ask him if she was still alive and he said she was and so was her husband.

I told him to forget it and that way he has a good chance of staying alive. He laughed, but I was serious. So, was I right or wrong?
Click to expand...
You were right!
 
oldman said:
So, was I right or wrong?
Click to expand...
Depends on his purpose

Could be a spiritual, cleansing sorta thing
Maybe a new Christian

Matthew 5;
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.


I've done it with folks I misused when young

All forgave me with open arms

Rather cleansing
 
I have gone a few rounds with myself about contacting past friends and intimates. I allow quite a bit of time before I act. Over the past year I have developed a since of not going over past stuff. It can be fun, but everyone has complicated lives, until we begin to unclutter them. We can become addicted to fixing this by this digging up the past, and as Gary pointed out it can be and usually is a good thing. For me, going over the my precious personal past is a waste of a time.
 
I can pretty much assure you that your friend's former HS girlfriend doesn't give one tittle about him apologizing for something she probably can't even remember at this point. And if she does remember, then your friend is the last person she wants to hear from. She won't be up for offering him any favors of friendship and in today's world her husband could be another Will Smith or worse.

But it matters more than we can ever imagine for your friend to apologize to his Creator for his regrets. I believe his Creator is purposefully bringing up his and all of our past regrets in the Autumn of life for a last chance opportunity to face our wrongs , express how sorry we are, and change how we behave going forward. Then your friend can let go of that burden, trusting and knowing it's 100% forgiven, forgotten forever.

His Creator wants to replace his regrets with peace, love, and assurance that all is forgiven in your friend's mind and in his Creator's mind.
 
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I've started going over old journals from 1983-present. In 1984 I received a phone call from my Scottish boyfriend, who was at that time living in the Netherlands. He called asking me to forgive him for being a bad boyfriend in 1970! I know 14 years is way different than 50 years, but I was glad (according to my journal) to receive that call, and we chatted for a long while catching up. I told my husband that night and he said "Oh, so that's the guy you talk about." When we fought over stuff I would sometimes say "I should have married George!"

Your friend should do what he feels he wants to do, Oldman. I don't think it will make that big a difference in the long run. I think it's sweet of him. I like getting calls, letters, out of the blue, which is why I won't give up my landline as it has always been my phone number. What if George calls again? I'm single now!
 
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