Isn't life all about winning?

H

hypochondriac

Senior Member
Location
Australia
getting the right career
meeting the right partner
having good kids
owning a house
having lots of money
travelling overseas once year
being a respected community member
enjoying a well earned retirement

If you tick all those boxes you win.Is that right?
 

My second oldest brother ticks all those boxes except respected community member. He steers clear of community groups.
But he has had an awesome retirement after working very hard. Doing his hobby of racehorses.
 

Lemmesee...getting the right career. Career? I had good, well-paying jobs, never looked at my jobs as a career
meeting the right partner...first time around he was probably the right partner, but I wasn't! Second time was a charm.
having good kids...I don't give a rat's rear what's supposed to constitute "good" kids; my kids are fine.
owning a house...Yeah. Well, I've owned and not owned. Meh.
having lots of money...Haven't ever had "lots" of money, but there have been times when I was certainly far better off than most folks. Now I have money in savings and money left over every month. It's enough.
travelling overseas once year...I was born minus the travel gene and did far too much of it far too often to care if I ever travel anywhere again. Mostly it was for work, not for fun, except traveling to/from Hawaii during the war.
being a respected community member...Huh? It's enough for me if my friends and family respect me. Living in a city the size of this one can hardly be called a "community." I'm just one more cog in the wheel here.
enjoying a well earned retirement...Yup. Enjoying it immensely most of the time. Sometimes I wish I could go back to work.

If you tick all those boxes you win.Is that right? So looks like the boxes are ticked as much as I want them ticked. Maybe it's not all about winning. Maybe it's about being content. I'm content. That's winning in my book.
 
One person’s idea of success is another’s anathema. With my PhD in a field very much in demand, I could have been Mammon’s handmaiden, and raked in the big bucks catering to the wealthy. No thank you. I wanted to use my qualifications to help people whose options for therapy were very limited. My job is stressful, but beyond worthwhile. A life of service has proven to be my personal
salvation. So many of my clients are pro bono, but I am happy to help them learn to live happier more fulfilling lives. That is how I measure my success.
 
I guess it depends how you define "winning"--for oneself. It varies greatly. I really doubt that anyone could tell you how happy or not they are by a a list of what they've accomplished or accumulated in life. Not that people don't have that kind of list hoping that will do it for them. For myself I believe that the happiest people are those who have true connections with others.
 
hypochondriac said:
getting the right career
meeting the right partner
having good kids
owning a house
having lots of money
travelling overseas once year
being a respected community member
enjoying a well earned retirement

If you tick all those boxes you win.Is that right?
Click to expand...

What’s the right career?
Who’s the right partner?
What’s considered good kids?
What type of house?
How much is considered a LOT of money?
Traveling overseas where and for how long?
Who decides what respectable means?
What is considered a ‘well earned’ retirement and who gets to decide this?

All these questions depend on a personal point of view. Claiming it’s ‘vague’ is a gross understatement
 
How can I explain what is right for me ...too you? So how can I show you? or do I need to?

IMO, life is more about being happy. If one needs to win, to be happy? That can bring allot of stress ... therefore crushing happy.

That's how I see it anyway.

I have said it before & I will now ...... until arthritis my life was absolutely happy & right. So does that mean before I was winning ? and now I am loosing?
 
I think people who know me here now will guess that I was playing devils advocate with the thread title.
But its a question that echoes in my head. And there can be daily reminders that life is about winning.Such as seeing the winners and vip people hogging the limelight in news an media. Or for seeing my siblings do well financially have kids and then grandkids.
Dont compare yourself to others i hear you say. its a cliche but of course its true.
Life is about toughening up on the outside but staying kind on the inside. Thats my real view .
 
How you handle the hand you've been dealt determines win or lose
However, the night is long
There are many hands played
Triumph is being last at the table

...and buying the drinks

Ultimately
There is no win
Without sharing the taste of victory
 
I have a family member who had an accident at age four that caused ventilator dependent quadriplegia. Completed his undergrad and masters degree in rehab psychological with his peers. He's in his 40s now and hasn't ticked off your list but is an inspiration to many through charitable work that he does. You can't put people in boxes.

And I believe thinking too much about things like this ...tongue in cheek or not can lead to emotionally detrimental naval gazing. At least that's been my experience when dwelling on other's perceived life yardsticks. Seek contentment with who you are. Life isn't a to do list, thank God.
 
I think the whole concept of winning or being successful is completely subjective, person to person. In my line of work I know many extremely wealthy, successful people who are unhappy and discontented.

One of the happiest couples I know has an addicted, currently homeless daughter and they don’t make much money, both just marking time until retirement.

There was a time when that list of things was a yardstick for me in terms of my own success. That stopped a long time ago. I’ve had so much unhappiness and despair in my life that I’ve learned to measure my “success” in terms of my own happiness, which has become far more important to me than anything material.
 
like getting a medal for doing well in ones life '''''
travelled well in my time , so I won I guess -
had kids -so maybe deserves a tick .. for adding to the population =
so what one persons thinks is winning --another person may not ………..
got let down in my career by taking the wrong road in my life - if only /
 
Warrigal said:
Winning implies competition. There is a winner and there are losers.
Disregarding the Darwinian approach I prefer to think of life as a journey, sometimes easy and sometimes hard. That is why we need companions for the journey. Companions help each other, they don't aim to defeat each other.
Click to expand...


Warrigal, thank you for saying this so beautifully.
 
Lara said:
Here's an equation for "Life is all about winning":
Love x Receiving it + Giving it = Winning
Click to expand...
y

Lara, your wisdom is profound. One of the most humbling and gratifying aspects of my work is being witness to miracles. Healing/coming to terms with the most horrendous trauma, is often

predicated by the availability of warmth and compassion. Those clients who truly flourish are blessed with deep connections with other people, whether family, friends, or, in some cases, a deep commitment to helping others. One client spends time in the preemie and children’s wards in

local hospitals. He has a phenomenal bond with children, I have never seen anything like the warmth and love which flows from this big, tough former master sergeant to envelop the smallest among us.
 
Ruthanne said:
I think it all depends on how someone views his/her life. For me it's staying alive another day...

Click to expand...

Same here. In fact I consider myself a winner every time I see an obituary of someone who died younger than I am.

For example, Robert E. Lee. Died at age 63. I whooped his butt.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Also died at age 63. Whooped his butt too!

Lyndon Johnson. Only made it to 64. Another one in the "W" column for me.

John F. Kennedy. Assassinated at 45. I don't claim that as a win. That wouldn't be fair.
 

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