Just senior humor

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Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date.
I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with
you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my house punctually at 7 pm,
dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers!
Then he takes me downstairs and what's there; a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.
Then he takes me out for dinner; a marvelous dinner, lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks.
Then we go see a show. Let me tell you Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure!

So, then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL.
Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me three times!"
Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! So, you are telling me I shouldn't go?"
Edna: "No, no, no, I'm just saying, wear an old dress."
 
Two old guys, one 82 and one 85, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 85-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 82-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 85-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies.”

So, on the way home the 82-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.

He said, "Do you have any rye bread?”

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?”

He said, "I want five loaves.”

She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard.”

The old man says to himself, ‘I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me.’
 

Have you noticed most every prescription you have says it will damage your liver and kidneys.
Is there a Conspiracy? Donate your organs to transplant to unsuspecting recipients.
 
Lil Jonny's trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, Lil Johnny is very small and
the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching Lil Johnny efforts for some time,
the Guy walks toward Lil Jonny.
He steps smartly across the street,
walks up behind the little fellow and,
placing his hand kindly on Lil Johnny's shoulder,
leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to Lil Johnny's level,
he asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which Lil Johnny replies,

"Now we run!"

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