You make perfect sense @officerripley . My thought was to sneak him in!Thanks, RadishRose; I have tried that but he refuses to; he plays golf with a guy whose wife convinced him to sell their home & move into a condo & he hates it, misses their nice big house, he wishes he'd never let her talk him into it, keeps telling Hubby "whatever you do, don't let your wife talk you into it, you'll be miserable, wah wah." I said, "Well, if he hates the condo they moved into, why don't they go look at other condos? There are actually a lot of condos here." He says, "Oh, his wife just loves that darn condo & the neighbors & the neighborhood." I said, "Well, gee, then I guess the condo they're in must not be that bad then."
Sometimes I wonder: do some people ever actually grow up? One wonders...
It is very good to journal your thoughts as well. Theraputic in some ways. Being able to talk about it to someone, and in a way, you are journaling by writing about it here. But, there are agencies out there for help, here in the town I live in we have Area Agency on Aging and in that organization are other areas of help. Respite help and other phone numbers. Check into your area.I wish I could persuade my husband to downsize from this too big place (3 bedrm house on 1 acre) that's in a lonely neighborhood that most every1 is younger than us & still working so the place is a ghost town 40 hrs/wk and we're 4 miles away from a grocery store of any size or pharmacy so what in the world are we gonna do when we can't drive anymore. And sure, if you can afford it, you can hire more stuff (yard work, etc.) done which we've started doing. But then again, you hear so much about financial abuse of the elderly, sigh.
I would love to move into a nice little condo or apt.; there are some nice but inexpensive ones within walking distance of groc. stores, pharmacies, the library (my favorite place), etc. But Hubby says he's gonna have to be carried out of here feet first. We've discussed/argued about it for about 10 years and I've finally given up. It worries me all the time, espec. since I think our driving days won't last much longer and we never had kids who might be able to help. But he's determined to stay here and I'm sympathetic as to why: not only is this house the nicest place he's ever lived, it's the *only* nice place he's ever lived; he grew up very poor, they lived in their car sometimes (in a place where it gets up over 100 in the summer! And his poor mom was pregnant!). It's a constant worry to me but I don't know what else I can do; we've discussed it 'till we're blue in the face but he's not moving. Period.
One thing I've discovered: I'm a member of a really large club; I keep talking to & hearing about more & more women in my age group who are in the same position. I told a middle-aged gal on a caretakers site who was venting about having to run back & forth to take care of both her and her hubby's parents and why oh why didn't they downsize out of their great big, now-unmanagable houses; I told her that I could really sympathize--I was about the only caretaker for 5 elderly parents altogether over a 10-year period--but that it was possible that at least 1 parent (usually the wife) on each side did want to downsize/see the need for downsizing years earlier but the spouse (usually the husband) wouldn't hear of it so that is a lot of the time the reason for what she's was going through.
Thanks for letting me vent; most of the women around here in my age group are divorced or widowed or of a fund. religious thing that the wife (even if she worked outside the home her whole adult life) must always do what the husband wants. So I mostly feel alone in this except for online. Thanks for listening.
The 55+ retirement community here is $1600 a month for a studio apt. That's my entire monthly income.
I have a 1 bedroom apt for $500 a month. I'd rather stay put.
I also was considering living there until they said the price of the food kept going up until they had to move into an apartment. They being a senior, and apartment was much more affordable and can eat more food!www.cityofboise.org
www.city-data.com/city/boise-City-Idaho.html
www.city-data.com/forum/boise-area/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boise,_Idaho
www.meridiancity.org
www.city-data.com/city/Meridian-Idaho.html
www.city-data.com/forum/boise-area/2286420-moving-southern-california-merdian-idaho.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meridian,_Idaho
www.cityofnampa.us
www.city-data.com/city/Nampa-Idaho.html
www.city-data.com/forum/Boise-area/2553218-nampa-equally-safe-nice-boise-proper.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nampa,_Idaho
I hope this helped.
The only extra thing they get is a pull chord to summon emergency services. Sorry I didn't even see this post.Wow ! ......... what do you get for the $1100 p/month difference ?
Welcome from WI, stoker! My husband and I are in our 70’s as well. We’ve looked at a couple of 50+ places but they are too far out of our price range for a decent one. And now, with covid, I would worry about getting locked in there with no way to see our family. Good luck with your hunt. Hope you find a place that is perfect for the two of youWe are both 77, wife uses a walker 100%. We currently live in a townhouse area in Boise and would like to move closer to Meridian or Nampa.
I know so many women in your same position, Office. My sister is one of them. She is 76, husband is 79 and there is no way on God’s green earth that he will move. Every year the yard work and home maintenance gets harder and harder for them. Why are men so stubborn? There is a whole lot to be said for sitting on your patio sipping lemonade while you watch someone else mow the grass on a hot summer day. Or looking out your window and seeing that it snowed two feet during the night and not really caring because you don’t have to shovel it. Not having to worry if the heat should go out or the central air break down...or the refrig or oven or washer and dryer...it’s all someone elses problem and expense, and at my age, I like it that way. I’ve had the home of my dreams, been there, done that, don’t need it anymore. I hpe your husband will see the bright shining light one of these days soon and agree to giving you the peace and security you want in this life tooI wish I could persuade my husband to downsize from this too big place (3 bedrm house on 1 acre) that's in a lonely neighborhood that most every1 is younger than us & still working so the place is a ghost town 40 hrs/wk and we're 4 miles away from a grocery store of any size or pharmacy so what in the world are we gonna do when we can't drive anymore. And sure, if you can afford it, you can hire more stuff (yard work, etc.) done which we've started doing. But then again, you hear so much about financial abuse of the elderly, sigh.
I would love to move into a nice little condo or apt.; there are some nice but inexpensive ones within walking distance of groc. stores, pharmacies, the library (my favorite place), etc. But Hubby says he's gonna have to be carried out of here feet first. We've discussed/argued about it for about 10 years and I've finally given up. It worries me all the time, espec. since I think our driving days won't last much longer and we never had kids who might be able to help. But he's determined to stay here and I'm sympathetic as to why: not only is this house the nicest place he's ever lived, it's the *only* nice place he's ever lived; he grew up very poor, they lived in their car sometimes (in a place where it gets up over 100 in the summer! And his poor mom was pregnant!). It's a constant worry to me but I don't know what else I can do; we've discussed it 'till we're blue in the face but he's not moving. Period.
One thing I've discovered: I'm a member of a really large club; I keep talking to & hearing about more & more women in my age group who are in the same position. I told a middle-aged gal on a caretakers site who was venting about having to run back & forth to take care of both her and her hubby's parents and why oh why didn't they downsize out of their great big, now-unmanagable houses; I told her that I could really sympathize--I was about the only caretaker for 5 elderly parents altogether over a 10-year period--but that it was possible that at least 1 parent (usually the wife) on each side did want to downsize/see the need for downsizing years earlier but the spouse (usually the husband) wouldn't hear of it so that is a lot of the time the reason for what she's was going through.
Thanks for letting me vent; most of the women around here in my age group are divorced or widowed or of a fund. religious thing that the wife (even if she worked outside the home her whole adult life) must always do what the husband wants. So I mostly feel alone in this except for online. Thanks for listening.
Gee but some men are stubborn. Can't your husband see that there would be many advantages of moving to a smaller place? I have heard these kinds of stories before & it proves to me that either: a) Women are smarter than men, b) Women have to wait until their stubborn husbands "kick the bucket" before they can sell & move. Shame on your husbands. He is no longer the young kid that he used to be. He needs to move on to another chapter in his life.I wish I could persuade my husband to downsize from this too big place (3 bedrm house on 1 acre) that's in a lonely neighborhood that most every1 is younger than us & still working so the place is a ghost town 40 hrs/wk and we're 4 miles away from a grocery store of any size or pharmacy so what in the world are we gonna do when we can't drive anymore. And sure, if you can afford it, you can hire more stuff (yard work, etc.) done which we've started doing. But then again, you hear so much about financial abuse of the elderly, sigh.
I would love to move into a nice little condo or apt.; there are some nice but inexpensive ones within walking distance of groc. stores, pharmacies, the library (my favorite place), etc. But Hubby says he's gonna have to be carried out of here feet first. We've discussed/argued about it for about 10 years and I've finally given up. It worries me all the time, espec. since I think our driving days won't last much longer and we never had kids who might be able to help. But he's determined to stay here and I'm sympathetic as to why: not only is this house the nicest place he's ever lived, it's the *only* nice place he's ever lived; he grew up very poor, they lived in their car sometimes (in a place where it gets up over 100 in the summer! And his poor mom was pregnant!). It's a constant worry to me but I don't know what else I can do; we've discussed it 'till we're blue in the face but he's not moving. Period.
One thing I've discovered: I'm a member of a really large club; I keep talking to & hearing about more & more women in my age group who are in the same position. I told a middle-aged gal on a caretakers site who was venting about having to run back & forth to take care of both her and her hubby's parents and why oh why didn't they downsize out of their great big, now-unmanagable houses; I told her that I could really sympathize--I was about the only caretaker for 5 elderly parents altogether over a 10-year period--but that it was possible that at least 1 parent (usually the wife) on each side did want to downsize/see the need for downsizing years earlier but the spouse (usually the husband) wouldn't hear of it so that is a lot of the time the reason for what she's was going through.
Thanks for letting me vent; most of the women around here in my age group are divorced or widowed or of a fund. religious thing that the wife (even if she worked outside the home her whole adult life) must always do what the husband wants. So I mostly feel alone in this except for online. Thanks for listening.
I appreciate all the support I've gotten from every1 here on SF about this. I've given up (for now anyway...aw heck, who'm I kidding, forever probably ) mainly becuz Huzz's beloved brother has been diagnosed with a rare, terminal cancer (was told to get his affairs in order & given 2 months to live Apr. 2020--was 2020 a !@#$% year or what--so this has understandably thrown everybody so I've backed off on it. Ain't life grand sometimes...not.Gee but some men are stubborn. Can't your husband see that there would be many advantages of moving to a smaller place? I have heard these kinds of stories before & it proves to me that either: a) Women are smarter than men, b) Women have to wait until their stubborn husbands "kick the bucket" before they can sell & move. Shame on your husbands. He is no longer the young kid that he used to be. He needs to move on to another chapter in his life.
Officer, you are such a good, caring, charitable person. I wish things would get better for you!I wish I could persuade my husband to downsize from this too big place (3 bedrm house on 1 acre) that's in a lonely neighborhood that most every1 is younger than us & still working so the place is a ghost town 40 hrs/wk and we're 4 miles away from a grocery store of any size or pharmacy so what in the world are we gonna do when we can't drive anymore. And sure, if you can afford it, you can hire more stuff (yard work, etc.) done which we've started doing. But then again, you hear so much about financial abuse of the elderly, sigh.
I would love to move into a nice little condo or apt.; there are some nice but inexpensive ones within walking distance of groc. stores, pharmacies, the library (my favorite place), etc. But Hubby says he's gonna have to be carried out of here feet first. We've discussed/argued about it for about 10 years and I've finally given up. It worries me all the time, espec. since I think our driving days won't last much longer and we never had kids who might be able to help. But he's determined to stay here and I'm sympathetic as to why: not only is this house the nicest place he's ever lived, it's the *only* nice place he's ever lived; he grew up very poor, they lived in their car sometimes (in a place where it gets up over 100 in the summer! And his poor mom was pregnant!). It's a constant worry to me but I don't know what else I can do; we've discussed it 'till we're blue in the face but he's not moving. Period.
One thing I've discovered: I'm a member of a really large club; I keep talking to & hearing about more & more women in my age group who are in the same position. I told a middle-aged gal on a caretakers site who was venting about having to run back & forth to take care of both her and her hubby's parents and why oh why didn't they downsize out of their great big, now-unmanagable houses; I told her that I could really sympathize--I was about the only caretaker for 5 elderly parents altogether over a 10-year period--but that it was possible that at least 1 parent (usually the wife) on each side did want to downsize/see the need for downsizing years earlier but the spouse (usually the husband) wouldn't hear of it so that is a lot of the time the reason for what she's was going through.
Thanks for letting me vent; most of the women around here in my age group are divorced or widowed or of a fund. religious thing that the wife (even if she worked outside the home her whole adult life) must always do what the husband wants. So I mostly feel alone in this except for online. Thanks for listening.
Thanks, Diva, you are so nice, you're the caring one . I keep trying to tell myself that I'm still better off than a lot of others. For one, my poor, terminal bro-in-law; Huzz & I worry about his widow when the time comes having enough to live on due to their situation. Like I said, there are others way worse off than I.Officer, you are such a good, caring, charitable person. I wish things would get better for you!
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