Making New Friends When Single and Alone

I am not sure where in the US you live, but sometimes geography makes it harder to connect with folks for friendship and more. Up here in the Northeast, folks tend to be standoffish and difficult to connect with. Especially in the smaller towns, meeting new people can be frustrating. I live alone and wish I had friends and people I could rely on for friendship. I am still working so it is hard to find time to connect.

Lately, I joined a fitness center inside a 55+ community. The facility allows people in the area to join as members. I go for the pool and hot tub. It's not been quite a month into membership and I find women quite a bit friendlier than usual. They smile at you and look at you as if open to conversation. I wonder if it's a different atmosphere living in an otherwise closed community. Do you knit? There's a knitting circle or two around here and that's a place to socialize? I've tried local book clubs but I found they tend to be social circles and not readers.

I go for the book discussion and maybe social interaction, but found most folks rarely finished the book and could not hold an actual discussion. I wish I could find a circle of older women who own their own home and be connected with them. A lot of my time goes into my house which I enjoy, but I wish I could discuss everything from décor to toilet repair with other women.
 
I wish I could find a circle of older women who own their own home and be connected with them. A lot of my time goes into my house which I enjoy, but I wish I could discuss everything from décor to toilet repair with other women.
Maybe you could start a meetup group. They usually clearly define the type of people they want to attract (like writers, knitters, etc.). I don't even know if that's still a thing, but you could google it.
 
I wasn't sure if the origial post was about making new friends or finding a romantic relationship. But as to friends - A little over a year ago, I was walking through a nearby neighborhood and noticed a political sign that conflicted with every other political sign on the street but was consistent with my own views. I told the guy who was working in the front of his garage that I liked his sign and we chatted for a few minutes.

Then he brought his wife out and they both mentioned that she regularly zoomed with a group of women who were similarly aligned politically. I was invited to join that zoom group of amazingly intelligent women and until we were all vaccinated, we met for two hours online every Saturday. We now meet in person every Saturday and I love our wide ranging conversations, which go from current events to family issues to whatever anyone wants to discuss.

I'm normally not an outgoing person but this one interaction while I was out on a walk taught me the value of saying hi to the people I pass on the street, assuming the situation seems safe and reasonable. And even though I'm not outgoing, I'm a "joiner" and everywhere I've moved, I've joined local groups - cycling, pickleball, political, business, hiking, whatever - and have managed to make friends that way.

As for the romantic relationship side of things, I've been too busy (at least in the Before Times) to do anything about that. Maybe later, though it's getting pretty late in life. On the other hand, after reading about the man who got his PhD in physics at age 89, I've decided one is never to old for anything.
 
between covid yah or nay vax anti vax yah or nay dem repub yah or any black other yah or nay---pretty damn difficult to find any other like minded folks .....dont know about you but one is all I want and need ...m or f--any color bit more choosy on vax dem etc.tho....I only mean this as a possiblity...(one that has not worked for me lately) a house organizer cleaner etc....for me it is coffee chit chat make friends if they are worthy ...(often they are not) if I can help them I do. most? you cannot help-- give them some money......thats it......

hope springs eternal...and a fools errand ...yet, I persist
 
Maybe you could start a meetup group. They usually clearly define the type of people they want to attract (like writers, knitters, etc.). I don't even know if that's still a thing, but you could google it.
The Meetup.com site is still online but none of the meetup groups here are meeting in person due to Covid, same with other kind of groups, church, senior, whatever, practically nothing meeting in person.
 
Yes, that is a real problem -- Zoom meetings just aren't the same.
I agree about Zoom meetings, I don't what it is but they make me nervous; seems like no matter how good the person running the meeting is at doing it in person, on a Zoom mtg everyone either keeps trying to talk at once or everyone is quiet staring at their screen waiting for someone else to talk.
 
I agree about Zoom meetings, I don't what it is but they make me nervous; seems like no matter how good the person running the meeting is at doing it in person, on a Zoom mtg everyone either keeps trying to talk at once or everyone is quiet staring at their screen waiting for someone else to talk
Honestly I find in person gatherings similar when not everyone knows everyone else, or perhaps they do, but not well. I’m usually the one to start talking/get the conversational ball rolling. I guess I do it just because I’m particularly not self conscious or shy so I don’t feel awkward being the one to break the silence.

And also I’ve learned that no matter what I say there’s a general sense of relief that SOMEONE spoke up and got things going lol!
 
Face to face adult conversation is so important. I believe that sitting and watching TV all day by yourself is just asking for dementia to become your way of life. You need to share experiences, laughing with someone or have someone around to hear what a bad day you had. Most of us are social animals and that is why "social distancing" really "sucks."
 
So, I've got to find friends, people to chat with, to go to lunch with, to do some fun activities with, etc. This forum looked like a good place to reach out to people. So here I am. Saying hello.
The problem with finding new local friends to do activities with on this forum, is that the world wide area covered is so vast it's hard to run across another person from your state or town. And many of the senior connection groups advertised on the Internet that say they are localized by states and are free, really are not.
 
This thread is for anyone to comment on but is about those who are single and alone making new friends.

So, I am attempting now to make some new friends again. At least I keep trying and haven't given up although I did give it a break and gave up for awhile.

I now have a garage parking space so I can go out here at any hour I want and still get a space to park. I'm thinking of going out to a nice restaurant that has outdoor dining and see if there are any others there alone, too. I think I need to try some new strategies while I'm still alive and kickin'. I have been fully vaccinated so I'm not afraid much to be around others in public except for large groups or crowds and I think that's a healthy fear.

I have put another ad on a website to try and meet someone and I'm very smart about it and don't give out my personal information right away until I can trust that the person responding is who they say they are. I'm not naïve and would not fall for someone who is trying to scam and I know all the signs to look for.

And also if anyone likes they can start a conversation with me here if they'd like to chat about things instead of posting in this thread.

Everyone's feedback is valuable in my book!
Not much on typing in fact I am adamently opposed to it.....been doing it all my life -it is slow easily misconstrued compounded by my carelessness and lack of diligence. that said ...I feel you're sadness and bewilderment. me-too! but if you think it through we may be blessed and do not realize it ...some folks on here would love to me (alone.....(and healthy) I am and given the options it is pretty darned good ..I am am humbly grateful..every day.There are many ways to meet others ..and, after I have engaged them in sparkling conversation and witty remark or two quickly wished I had not disturbed what ever moron realitly they live in......so there is that-early in the morning walmart gym...120 seconds of meaningless chit chat is usually engough for me....to come home and hug myself hahhah
 
I moved here to my apartment mid lockdown. So few opportunities to meet other tenants and make friends as the community room was closed. But once we re-opened I made an effort to get down and meet the other tenants. Being that this is a senior community, everyone is my age or older, which is great.
Now, I would say most people I consider friends (not family members) are here in this building. They are who I spend the most time with and have the most in common with.
But we also have a senior community center across the street as well. So it has just been a matter of making the effort to get out to where the people are
 


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