I guess the day of keeping the little woman barefoot and pregnant are over, Ralphy.
Women are gaining higher education skills in greater numbers than men. This allows them to become the main support of families that was traditionally a man's a role. This change in our society is causing stress for both men and women. I don't think that this shift is a good thing and surely you agree with me...
KindofScared, when you married you each gave an implied promise to be each other's helpmate, through thick or thin. For various reasons over time the nature of the help tends to change. What you are doing now is fulfilling that promise. Give yourself a pat on the back for that.
You have the privilege of forming really close bonds with your children. You will realise further down the track that this is a blessing, that you are a blessing to your family.
When I was younger I found being a stay at home really difficult. I became depressed. If that is happening to you I recommend that you find some outlet away from the home - a hobby group, sport or a men's club - so that you can get a break. It will help you keep things in perspective.
Good luck mate, and remember that what you are doing is of the highest value.
KindOfScared, Dame Warrigal is right about the taking care of your depression first off. You don't say much about your circumstances, or what part of the world your in, which makes it hard to try and come up with helpful suggestions.
A lot of women go through the "I'm worthless" feeling when they make the decision to home care their families. Try making up a list of what kind of help, and what it would cost your family, if you went back to working in the work force. Add it up. You are providing that much income now.
If your children are in school, find a part time job, even if it's at your local store bagging groceries, or Jack-in-Box flipping burgers. Add that to what you are already providing by being a stay at home father. Believe me when I say, it counts.
You need the social contact, and it will also help with the depression.
When you hear young adults say things like, "My mom took care of our family, worked, made sure we went to school, and brought us up as best she could." That is pride your hearing.
When you start valuing yourself again, it will show even in your bearing, and that could help your marriage. Your wife will see that you are doing the best you can, and that you value yourself.
I hope your circumstances allow for you to change and rebuild your situation.
Many women and men fall into depression when they don't remember that "job" doesn't set their value.
Also remember how many times you've heard, "I just wish my father had been more a part of my life when I was growing up." You have this chance, so look and see the true value you are giving your family.
Be proud of who you are today, and so will your family. Good luck! :wave:
I don't see what earthly difference it makes whether the husband or wife is the main breadwinner. Or why it is any of our business anyway . . . .
Some situations demand that women have to work to support their family. But you would have to admit, as many women do, that something is lost by not seeing their children's milestones. Many men, on the other hand, feel something is lost by not having a career...
Ok... I'll answer why... I believe men feel they have lost "control" over the little woman is she gets too independent. So let's use the kids to lay some guilt on the ladies and get them back where they belong.