Met someone, is it real or is it a catfisher

I know it's possible for people to find love online. Both my daughter's did. One has been married 12 years the other 2. Love the guys they married. Two sweet fellows.
I've tried three sites and chickened out each time removing my profile. I don't have the patience to or guts to do it... Just... not for me. LOL
 

IFortuna said:
Also, wanted me to open an investment account so he could deposit his retirement, etc. BS. He did not stop asking although I told him "No," many times. Cut this one loose. This was after we had talked for a couple weeks and I was just waiting for him to ask. Didn't take long.
I think it is a waiting game. Just wait given enough time the truth will come out; it always does. They don't want to "waste" a lot of time so they can go on to the next one. ;)
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I think another good way to have them fess up or disappear is to ask them to meet with you in person. Of course, if they're in another country, they won't be able to. I also think it would be prudent to avoid men that are out of the country. Less heartaches. Just my two bits. :)
 

palides2021 said:
I think another good way to have them fess up or disappear is to ask them to meet with you in person. Of course, if they're in another country, they won't be able to. I also think it would be prudent to avoid men that are out of the country. Less heartaches. Just my two bits. :)
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In my opinion, it is the unattainable whether near or far that is the cause of heartache.💔
 
win231 said:
Sometimes, when someone is desperate for romance, they will do almost anything & fall for almost anything. Probably low self esteem is also a factor. I've heard it said that Love is like an hourglass; the heart fills up while the brain empties.
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As in men do, there is two heads and one is always in control ..as mentioned, one fills up as the other empties........ another means of not knowing why it all happens.
Reminds me of a similar issue, a man by picture as I was online popped up as in a Facebook people you may know.
This man was not a handsome gent though looking for a partner that was in Nebraska, who had lost his wife and only child in a care accident. When I asked for where he worked, he said a oil rig yet was the boss temporarily assigned and sent a pic.
When I asked him if he was retired he said yes for he looked by pic too old for that kind of job.
It was a week or so, and I asked for pics of him at his home he never sent any. I felt he might be a senior citizen living with am unknowing wife or even on a nursing home wanting to escape yet needed money to catch a train etc. Silly U know yet he was calling me sweetheart. And endearing sweet coos from his 🐓 stand. I just felt so annoyed, that I asked him to give me his phone number so i could call him he never responded.
However, the name he used is still on my message app. The pictur disappeared yet the name still is lifted behind a name spelt as from another country I can't seem to delete any of these that has setup on my message board what is this all about........
 
This discussion depresses me. Yes, we are of a certain age, there are people that would in a heartbeat take advantage. For me. this kind of thing would not happen. I don't trust a lot of people I have known all my life. My husband and I worked very hard to build a good life, I have no intention to date, let alone marry again. Yes, I miss my husband but know he can't be replaced. The important thing now is just socializing. That can be done at the senior center, the library and being active in community based programs. I don't need someone to take care of me, I can do that. Don't spend time on the internet looking for a love match. Just get out there and meet real people. You might meet someone or not. At least you can make some new friends and contribute to your community.
 
Blessed said:
This discussion depresses me. Yes, we are of a certain age, there are people that would in a heartbeat take advantage. For me. this kind of thing would not happen. I don't trust a lot of people I have known all my life. My husband and I worked very hard to build a good life, I have no intention to date, let alone marry again. Yes, I miss my husband but know he can't be replaced. The important thing now is just socializing. That can be done at the senior center, the library and being active in community based programs. I don't need someone to take care of me, I can do that. Don't spend time on the internet looking for a love match. Just get out there and meet real people. You might meet someone or not. At least you can make some new friends and contribute to your community.
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you're presuming that everyone has somewhere that they can meet people. Not everyone..has access to a Community centre or social meeting place.. . For example I live in a rural area, where there's nothing at all except one pub.. which is now given over to a gastro pub, not like the old days when people could go and mix with others, and have a laugh and a game of Darts or Bar Billiards, or even a sing-song..

There's nothing here.. and for me to go into the city (London 40 mile round trip ) at night alone would be an absolute no -no...
 
fuzzybuddy said:
MickaC,
He's an ortho doctor......works for the UN......practices in overseas countries.
He's presently in Yaman, Germany......returns back to his home in Ontario, Canada, this month.
Have been communicating for the last two weeks.

Doesn't this sound a little too good? The only thing missing is being an Arabic prince. Why do I get the feeling he's going to have problems transferring his millions in German marks to Canadian dollars, but all he needs is a few thousand for a lawyer?
Open your heart, but hide your purse.
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i agree!! this refrain of being professional and working over seas and dating on websites...sounds like BS to me.

if hes so well professed why does he need to date online? surely he Meets Women All the Time and yet
hes promising things to someone...online.

be very careful. hes got you very high on him which is also part of the game.
do i repeat the refrain of others: DONT SEND HIM MONEY. or any personal info.
 

Online Dating and Dating App Safety Tips

from RAINN

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is an American nonprofit anti-sexual assault organization, the largest in the United States. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline, as well as the Department of Defense (DoD) Safe Helpline, and carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help survivors, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice through victim services, public education, public policy, and consulting services.​



https://www.rainn.org/articles/online-dating-and-dating-app-safety-tips
 
hollydolly said:
you're presuming that everyone has somewhere that they can meet people. Not everyone..has access to a Community centre or social meeting place.. . For example I live in a rural area, where there's nothing at all except one pub.. which is now given over to a gastro pub, not like the old days when people could go and mix with others, and have a laugh and a game of Darts or Bar Billiards, or even a sing-song..

There's nothing here.. and for me to go into the city (London 40 mile round trip ) at night alone would be an absolute no -no...
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I am sorry that you are not closer to the city. Everyone would like to have a place to pop in for a coffee or a beer. You have access to things I don't. Peaceful surroundings, beautiful nature, We all have blessings and drawbacks to our lives. I would go and meet you for a drink, have some good conversation, play some games or do some trivia. Ah the old days, trust me. I miss them too. We had a neighborhood donut shop. Ther were 8 to ten gentlemen that met there every morning. I would take my son on the weekend because it was set up so you could see the kitchen and watch them make the donuts. The place closed years ago, I miss going there just to listen to their conversation.
 
hollydolly said:
you're presuming that everyone has somewhere that they can meet people. Not everyone..has access to a Community centre or social meeting place.. . For example I live in a rural area, where there's nothing at all except one pub.. which is now given over to a gastro pub, not like the old days when people could go and mix with others, and have a laugh and a game of Darts or Bar Billiards, or even a sing-song..

There's nothing here.. and for me to go into the city (London 40 mile round trip ) at night alone would be an absolute no -no...
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i can relate to this.
id like some friends but not that into "dating" at this point. prolly never again. men i meet arent that into it
either, theyve all lost or never had and gotten this far and dont care much either.
i think..many like, or prefer, having friends.

i guess thats what nursing homes are also about....but i dont want any part of them.
 
Blessed said:
I am sorry that you are not closer to the city. Everyone would like to have a place to pop in for a coffee or a beer. You have access to things I don't. Peaceful surroundings, beautiful nature, We all have blessings and drawbacks to our lives. I would go and meet you for a drink, have some good conversation, play some games or do some trivia. Ah the old days, trust me. I miss them too. We had a neighborhood donut shop. Ther were 8 to ten gentlemen that met there every morning. I would take my son on the weekend because it was set up so you could see the kitchen and watch them make the donuts. The place closed years ago, I miss going there just to listen to their conversation.
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yah i can relate. living rural every town had its own saloon. youd hit the PO then the lil store and then the saloon
to visit with the other ranchers doing the same runs.
those days are gone. the housing crash destroyed all the small rural towns as tho a bomb went off,
everyone was suddenly...gone.
saloons closed stores closed...that life all just went away. rural merica got looted by hedge funds.
 
I met my S/O over a year ago on the internet. I live in a rural area where there aren't any opportunities to meet someone. He lives 30 minutes away. I researched him thoroughly and told him I did. He had no problems with it. The company he works for requires a criminal background check every few years. He gave me a copy of the findings (there were none). We have never and have no plans to combine finances. There won't be a wedding, either. We both agreed to that very early on. My divorce damn near gutted me financially and I'm too old and perhaps too untrusting to get married again.

So, while I have every reason to believe he's "one of the good guys", I haven't let my guard down completely.
 
Be very careful. I saw a television program about online dating sites and how there are groups of scammers who troll those sites looking for lonely people. They all seem to follow the same script - doctor working overseas, under contract to UN, etc., has fallen in love with you but can't come home for months UNLESS they buy out their contract but no money to do that, and, by the way, if you could loan me the money I would come running into your arms! Stay away, far, far away.
 
CrowFlies said:
i agree!! this refrain of being professional and working over seas and dating on websites...sounds like BS to me.

if hes so well professed why does he need to date online? surely he Meets Women All the Time and yet
hes promising things to someone...online.

be very careful. hes got you very high on him which is also part of the game.
do i repeat the refrain of others: DONT SEND HIM MONEY. or any personal info.
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I've come across quite a few of these.....back in winter.....lots of messages on their part.....was quite entertaining.....then they just got stupid.
Found myself a better hobby.
 
Gaer said:
It's never a mistake to love someone. Trust me on this.
I'm so happy for you!
Give him all the love you've got! This is wonderful!

You will never lose the capacity for deep love you have filed away in your heart!
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So true, Gaer. I should know, I live in a 55 plus apartment complex and the place is full of "little ole' ladies." A few still have husbands but the vast majority live in some sort of ivory tower alone. I hope they are happy? I think it is a sad reflection of our society to end up alone in your senior years.
 

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