Monica Lewinsky gave a really, really important TED talk on bullying

[Josiah]

https://www.facebook.com/bullymovie...41826.107214895991663/728470823866064/?type=1

 

[SifuPhil]

Well ole fella, your bullying happened before instant communication with millions! Big difference. How does one go about 'duking it out' with millions of faceless, anonymous haters?

That has little to do with it - I could have easily run around crying to everyone and assumed the victim persona, like she has.

There are more ways to win a conflict than to "duke it out" ...

But if you don't want to forgive someone who never did anything to you personally and who has experienced years of humiliation and embarrassment over a situation that she has regretted for a couple decades now, well what can I say right? We each make our decisions based on what kind of person we aspire to be you know.

If they never did anything to me, then why should they ask for my forgiveness?

 

[SifuPhil]

Wow, how incredibly intolerant, Phil. I also have been through physical violence, and there were no powers that would have been worth a tinker's darn. You bet I complained, good thing, otherwise I would be dead. You are not a woman and inhabit a different world. Read the stats. In your country and mine. It is becoming worse. Was it my fault, hardly. Monica was a kid. Blame the mature man here. Who knew better. When will women be treated seriously, and equally? Apparently not today. Men are studs, and women are sluts? Shame, shame.

Intolerant? Only of people that cry about the results of their own actions. I'm not intolerant of a passenger in a plane crash ... but I am intolerant of drunk drivers that crash. I'm not intolerant of mugging victims (unless they walk down the street at midnight with $100 bills sticking out of their pockets) ... but I am intolerant of people that don't let go and just live their life.

I've taught many women how to take responsibility for their lives - there are no excuses, except for the ones they fight for.

 

[SifuPhil]

Phil, you believe the only bullying is physical? Words often cut deeper than any other wound. Half the trauma victims I have served were flattened by emotional damage brought about by verbal abuse in all it's wondrous forms. I am truly grateful that these individuals came to me for help, tissues in hand. Many of these people were/are men.

Words only have the power we give them. Try comparing them with a knife slash across your neck or a bullet in your leg.

This country ... this world ... has become disgustingly soft in the last few decades.

 

[Shalimar]

Really? You know nothing of my experience. I will trade you yours for the decade+ war I fought in the fields of childhood. Even my paratroopers refer to me as a prisoner of war. Have you personal experience of torture? I do. You lack credibility. Brainwashing is often a far more effective tool than physical torture. Disgustingly soft? Sometimes all one can do is survive. Of fifteen children subjected to ritual abuse, I am the only survivor. Do not speak to me of strength. I am no one's victim, but a survivor who,dedicates her life to serving those who are traumatized by abuse in any of it's myriad forms. I speaK in recognition of these individuals who risk everything to get on with their lives. I honour their struggle, sadly, you do not. PTSD, and many other disorders cause unimaginable pain. I would much rather Be slashed in the leg, than the mind. Many of my Airborne buddies echo that sentiment. Feel free to tell them how soft they are.

 

[SifuPhil]

Really? You know nothing of my experience.

I never claimed to.

I will trade you yours for the decade+ war I fought in the fields of childhood.

It's never wise to trade a pig in a poke. You know nothing of MY experiences.

Even my paratroopers refer to me as a prisoner of war. Have you personal experience of torture? I do. You lack credibility.

So are you claiming that you've been tortured - physically?

How do I lack credibility? Am I supposed to show you my torture club membership card?

Brainwashing is often a far more effective tool than physical torture.

That depends upon the results desired and the methods utilized.

Disgustingly soft? Sometimes all one can do is survive. Of fifteen children subjected to ritual abuse, I am the only survivor. Do not speak to me of strength. I am no one's victim, but a survivor who,dedicates her life to serving those who are traumatized by abuse in any of it's myriad forms. I speaK in recognition of these individuals who risk everything to get on with their lives.

Please don't lay your excess baggage upon me - I neither want nor accept it.

I honour their struggle, sadly, you do not.

Good assumption. Unfortunately it's erroneous.

PTSD, and many other disorders cause unimaginable pain. I would much rather Be slashed in the leg, than the mind. Many of my Airborne buddies echo that sentiment. Feel free to tell them how soft they are.

Many people - most, in fact - are not made of the "right stuff" to be in the war arts. They are victims of nothing more than having a normal human nature, one that recoils when faced with horror. A few - perhaps the special forces types that sign up for several tours, or the mercs that sell their violence by the pound - they can live with the taking of lives.

PTSD is the modern-day equivalent of "shell shock" - some cases are real, but many are just brought about by that damned human nature.

And above all, I can't believe you're comparing Monica's crocodile tears with water-boarding and having bamboo shoots shoved under your fingernails. They're worlds apart.

 

[Knightofalbion]

I'm really glad that I have empathy... It must be really difficult to balance on that Ivory Tower...

I'm glad to hear that you have empathy, QuickSilver. Sometime, you must tell me how far it extends. I'd be interested to hear.

As for balancing on that Ivory Tower. It's the Ivory Tower of realism.
Bullying is wrong, of course it is. And I have sympathy for her, but if a woman is going to engage in various forms of 'sexual activity' with a married man, especially when that man happens to be the President of the United States, don't be surprised if that 'information' gets out and takes on a life of its own on cyberspace, with all that that entails.

I can't help thinking Monica would be well advised to keep off social media altogether. Like it or not, given the nature of the internet, someone with her history is always going to draw fire.

 

[QuickSilver]

I'm glad to hear that you have empathy, QuickSilver. Sometime, you must tell me how far it extends. I'd be interested to hear.

As for balancing on that Ivory Tower. It's the Ivory Tower of realism.
Bullying is wrong, of course it is. And I have sympathy for her, but if a woman is going to engage in various forms of 'sexual activity' with a married man, especially when that man happens to be the President of the United States, don't be surprised if that 'information' gets out and takes on a life of its own on cyberspace, with all that that entails.

I can't help thinking Monica would be well advised to keep off social media altogether. Like it or not, given the nature of the internet, someone with her history is always going to draw fire.

Well, suffice it to say that I can empathize... and I'm glad I'm capable of that.. apparently some people are not.

As for Monica. I just can't get that deep in the weeds about her particular situation. All I see is a 22 y/o that made a bad decision and will pay for it her entire life. Acutally.. it ruined her life. Aren't you glad that yours didn't?

 

[Raven]

I wish Monica would just go away again. This is an old story and I'm tired of hearing it.
When I was 22 I was married and had a 2 year old child and I certainly knew having an affair
with a married man would cause a lot of trouble for myself and family.
People would forget if she would not keep bringing up her mistake.

I seem to remember reading before this she had broken up the marriage of a young couple by
having a relationship with the husband. Just another mistake by a poor immature girl.

 

[BobF]

And why is not the other half of that silly mess also on the table of public judgement? Because he has enough power to have many friends making sure he is free of guilt. Yes he was pulled up and shame applied all around and over him by members of Congress. A high and might man of his age allowing a lone female to wander the halls of the White House and leading her on with his willingness. Too bad they did not force the conclusion that his acts were, to me, even worse than a young woman's wild actions, he was our leader and her leader too. Not a nice thing to have done and his punishement was near nothing but the public awareness given to him. And he never even accepted that. It takes two to tangle and both should have the same results. He was well old enough to know the difference and so was she. It was not all Monica's fault at all. Both were involved, but some responses seem to think only Monica is guilty.

 

[QuickSilver]

However, most have forgiven Bill... Yet Monica still has the scarlet letter..

 

[Temperance]

Weren't you lucky that your 'mistake' wasn't broadcast to the world so that they could judge you forever after on that one mistake?

Personally, I find it very hard to hold grudges against people and I'm always willing to give second chances especially if the original bad-act occurred when that person was very young and I get the impression that they are trying to make up for it, move past it, be better than they were then. I only have to think back on some of the decisions that I made in my young-adult years to be reminded about how easy it is to make that poor decision sometimes. Besides, where is the merit in despising someone forever? Who benefits from it?

Don't despise or hold any grudges against her. I feel nothing regarding ML. Just stated I have no sympathy for her. She should accept responsiblity and move on. One usually doesn't try to make a career out of ones mistake.

 

[Temperance]

If it were me, I think I'd admit I made a mistake, deal with it, take the criticism that comes from it and be done with it. I wouldn't be the one to keep bringing it to the public and rehashing it for financial gain and camera time. I'm just being realistic, it shouldn't be that much of a surprise...I think we've all had enough of dragging it on already. No, not just a bit?

Bravo SeaBreeze!

 

[BobF]

What is on Monica's mind these days? For sure she feels somewhat used by our former President. I am sure she also feels guilt for having spent private time with the President. I wonder if the reason she is making these confessions is to help other younger and possibly also confused ladies into rethinking their personal lives a bit more closely. I wonder, because like most on this forum, I don't know why she is speaking about this unfortunate situation. At least give her credit for keeping quiet for 20 years.

 

[QuickSilver]

All I can say is I'm kind of shocked by the animosity toward her.. It's kind of like shaming... which I thought as a society we were moving away from.

 

[WhatInThe]

I feel sorry for Monica.. and I think she deserves a chance to do something good with her life. Cyber bullying is a good cause.. However, am I the only one to find it suspicious that NOW is when she is out there promoting her cause? Could it have anything to do with Hillary running for President? Is she being bankrolled by any group in particular? hmmmmmmmmmmm one has to ponder..but if she is, it's not a real brain strain to figure out which group.

I've heard rumors on her motivations for a while now. Some say Hillary herself wants all her dirty laundry out in the open now before she is an official candidate so the media can bludgeon the issue to death now. Others say some conservative groups want Hillary out of the picture before she even campaigns.

But I heard an interesting scenario which could be revenge of sorts for Monica. Supposedly Hillary went out of her way to cover up hubby wild Bill's indiscretions which forced investigations and testimony in smaller sexual harassment lawsuits in which the Lewinsky affair came about. They said it was Hillary who told Bill do not settle or try to make it go away and show these women for liars they supposedly were. Supposedly Hillary assumed after put through some legal hassle the lawsuits would be dropped and the women would go away. The case in question was did Bill Clinton use state troopers to cover his affairs as governor.

If Monica saw how Hillary tried to "manage" Bill in her eyes this might be revenge.

 

[SeaBreeze]

I wish Monica would just go away again. This is an old story and I'm tired of hearing it.
When I was 22 I was married and had a 2 year old child and I certainly knew having an affair
with a married man would cause a lot of trouble for myself and family.
People would forget if she would not keep bringing up her mistake.

I seem to remember reading before this she had broken up the marriage of a young couple by
having a relationship with the husband. Just another mistake by a poor immature girl.

I don't think she'll ever go away Raven, she'll be working this story for sympathy until she's 90. I don't think any of us really care too much about the sexual acts, it's how she has exploited them for her own gains since the affair. She keeps bringing this on herself.

Clinton is absolutely guilty in this whole affair, but he's hardly raped an innocent little girl. He's tried to let this thing die, but he's also getting bullied over it, although he doesn't keep it alive like she does. They're still plastering the internet with a portrait of his that was painted in 2006. Almost ten years later, the web is buzzing about the hidden blue dress...is that not a form of bullying? Clinton, Hillary and Chelsea are bullied every time she rehashes this thing.

http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,138553,00.html

It had been a trying week. On Tuesday evening, 10 minutes before the State of the Union address, a slight, ponytailed man named Andrew Bleiler, 32, stood with his wife in front of their home in Portland, Ore., and confessed to a five-year affair with Lewinsky. He said it started when she was 19 and he was a stage-production teacher at Beverly Hills High, that he tried to end the entanglement in 1993 after both had moved to Oregon, but that Lewinsky threatened to tell his wife Kathlyn.

Over the past two years, Lewinsky had kept the Bleilers posted on her exploits: she told them she was frustrated with dating an unnamed high-ranking White House official because he indulged only in oral sex, and that she had become pregnant by another man and had had an abortion. "I don't think there is any doubt," Giles told TIME, "that she had some sexual encounters with someone at the White House."

Ginsburg, who acknowledged the affair happened, pointed out that Bleiler "is a former schoolteacher having sex with a teenager." Still, Giles maintains that Monica was "obsessed with sex. She went to Washington with the intent to have sex with the President."

Meanwhile, some of Lewinsky's former co-workers were telling the Washington Post that she was "besotted" with the President and, as early as the summer of 1995, fantasizing about having sex with him in the Oval Office.

It was an unusual aspiration, since most interns were more interested in having sex with each other. Lewinsky reportedly found Vice President Gore fetching too, and excitedly recounted locking eyes with George Stephanopoulos at Starbucks.

http://www.nydailynews.com/archives...anned-prez-seduction-teacher-article-1.791263

Monica Lewinsky's ex-lover last night described her as a manipulative, sex-obsessed woman who went to the White House vowing to seduce the President and then bragged of an affair with a top official.

Andrew Bleiler, 32, the former drama teacher at Lewinsky's Beverly Hills High School, said he will turn over documents and photographs to independent counsel Kenneth Starr when he and his wife, Kathlyn, meet with Starr's prosecutors today in Portland. The Bleilers said they don't know who the official was and suspect he does not exist.

But they told their lawyer that Lewinsky set her sights on the Oval Office early on. "When Monica was selected as an intern, before she even left for Washington, D.C.," lawyer Terry Giles said, "she told Kathy, 'I'm going to the White House to get my presidential kneepads.

' " Giles said the Bleilers will cooperate fully with Starr. "Andy and Kathy are a piece of a big jigsaw puzzle. We just want to tell the truth and let the independent counsel decide whether it's relevant," he said. "I couldn't in good conscience just sit on this and not tell the authorities what I know," Andy Bleiler said.

With his lawyer doing most of the talking and his pained-looking wife at his side, the blond, pony-tailed Bleiler described his five-year affair with Lewinsky at a press conference outside his modest Portland house last night, just before President Clinton delivered his State of the Union address.

Giles who said he is a Republican and no fan of Clinton said he and the Bleilers consider Lewinsky untruthful and are not inclined to believe she had sex with Clinton. "Kathy and Andy would both describe Monica as having a pattern of twisting facts, especially to enhance her version of her own self-image," Giles said. Lewinsky's lawyer, William Ginsburg, confirmed that his client had an affair with Bleiler but dismissed him as a child-seducing teacher who was simply "looking for his 15 minutes of fame.

" Bleiler said he began sleeping with Lewinsky in 1992, after they both moved to Portland and she was attending Lewis & Clark College. Their trysts continued even after she left for Washington in 1995, during her visits to Portland, and ended last April, after Bleiler's wife discovered the affair.

Kathy Bleiler, 40, said Lewinsky is a manipulative, "Fatal Attraction" type. "She started showing up at my house and bringing gifts to my kids," she said. Lewinsky cultivated the friendship with her lover's wife, and though Andy Bleiler said he wanted to end the affair in 1993, he didn't because he was "petrified" that Lewinsky would tell his wife, Giles said.

After she went to Washington, Lewinsky called the Bleilers as often as five times a day to relay stories of her adventures in the capital. Giles said Lewinsky told the Bleilers she was having oral sex with a "high-ranking White House official" and was "frustrated" that she never had "regular sex" with him. In the calls, Lewinsky referred to the official as "the creep.

 

[SeaBreeze]

Don't despise or hold any grudges against her. I feel nothing regarding ML. Just stated I have no sympathy for her. She should accept responsiblity and move on. One usually doesn't try to make a career out of ones mistake.

I feel the same way, and yes, one usually doesn't try to make a career out of one's mistake.

 

[oldman]

Don't despise or hold any grudges against her. I feel nothing regarding ML. Just stated I have no sympathy for her. She should accept responsibility and move on. One usually doesn't try to make a career out of ones mistake.

It's what people do to stay in the limelight or at least to stay in the papers. You can look at many others who have committed heinous acts in their life and still keep making it sound like it just happened. I think perhaps the media prompts them to do so. Pete Rose is an example of what I am talking about. Every time, or nearly every time Pete is on on ESPN the gambling thing comes up. I am not saying that all celebrities continue to remind the public of their "mistakes", but many do. We have those that have been caught indulging in gambling, drug use, theft, fighting, punching out cops, illicit sexual activities and so on. For a lot of them, they remind the public what they are best known for. Everyone from Robert Downey Junior, Zsa Zsa, Paul Reubens, Winona Ryder and even that little punk Bieber. What's upsetting is that most walk away unscathed, but if John Q. Public pulled some these antics, their butts would either be jail, or they would need to take out a mortgage to pay the fines.

Seriously, do you believe people would go to one of her appearances, if there was no chance that she might bring up the dress issue? Heck, some people say that had she not hid the dress, she may not have lived to tell the story. Then others have said it was too bad that Ron Brown didn't have a dress to hide. Who was he about to rat out? I have read the reports of the crash, (could care less about the political crap that was conjectured), and I am really stumped that they slammed into the side of a mountain while the pilot was doing an instrument approach. That's just a hard pill to swallow. Normally, when government officials are on-board, only the top pilots are flying the aircraft. The one report stated that the pilot was inexperienced? Really???

 

[Temperance]

It's what people do to stay in the limelight or at least to stay in the papers. You can look at many others who have committed heinous acts in their life and still keep making it sound like it just happened. I think perhaps the media prompts them to do so. Pete Rose is an example of what I am talking about. Every time, or nearly every time Pete is on on ESPN the gambling thing comes up. I am not saying that all celebrities continue to remind the public of their "mistakes", but many do. We have those that have been caught indulging in gambling, drug use, theft, fighting, punching out cops, illicit sexual activities and so on. For a lot of them, they remind the public what they are best known for. Everyone from Robert Downey Junior, Zsa Zsa, Paul Reubens, Winona Ryder and even that little punk Bieber. What's upsetting is that most walk away unscathed, but if John Q. Public pulled some these antics, their butts would either be jail, or they would need to take out a mortgage to pain the fines.

Seriously, do you believe people would go to one of her appearances, if they was no chance that she might bring up the dress issue? Heck, some people say that had she not hid the dress, she may not have lived to tell the story. Then others have said it was too bad that Ron Brown didn't have a dress to hide. Who was he about to rat out? I have read the reports of the crash, (could care less about the political crap that was conjectured), and I am really stumped that they slammed into the side of a mountain while the pilot was doing an instrument approach. That's just a hard pill to swallow. Normally, when government officials are on-board, only the top pilots are flying the aircraft. The one report stated that the pilot was inexperienced? Really???

So very well said, oldman. If we're lucky, we may get justice, what the famous get is know as "celebrity justice". You mention Pete Rose, saw a commercial with him a few weeks ago,
and even then something was stated about him not being able to go into the hall, and his remark was "not even my own hall?" May not be exact, but even I knew what he was referring too.

 

[applecruncher]

Interesting how when a married man cheats most people (especially other females) blame the other woman. ("He was under her spell, she should have been able to resist”).....huh?

And Monica accepted responsibility a long time ago. She never went around saying "Woe is me, did I do something bad? It wasn't my fault! He took advantage!" But *I* never saw her as being 100% responsible. Bill Clinton was President, and HE was married. Monica was not.

I don’t think Monica is looking for anyone’s sympathy, so people saying they don’t feel sorry for her is neither here nor there, imo, and whether or not anyone does or does not feel sorry for Monica doesn't mean squat anyway. But even if she discovered a cure for cancer, many would still only see her as that woman who diddled around with Bill Clinton.

 

[Knightofalbion]

1) Well, suffice it to say that I can empathize... and I'm glad I'm capable of that.. apparently some people are not.

2) As for Monica. I just can't get that deep in the weeds about her particular situation. All I see is a 22 y/o that made a bad decision and will pay for it her entire life. Acutally.. it ruined her life. Aren't you glad that yours didn't?

1) Maybe best to stick with empathy, rather than making judgements and snide comments ....

2) I think you're insulting all 22 year olds with that statement.
She wasn't a starry-eyed 12 year old. She was an oncologist's daughter, with a university degree, and astute and intelligent enough to get a job at the White House.
And at 22 she should have had a sufficient moral compass to know right from wrong, to know not to fool around with a married man, certainly not the President of the United States.

And if you want people to stop talking about something, perhaps going on global media and reminding everybody about it is not your best move...

 

[SeaBreeze]

She wasn't a starry-eyed 12 year old. She was an oncologist's daughter, with a university degree, and astute and intelligent enough to get a job at the White House.
And at 22 she should have had a sufficient moral compass to know right from wrong, to know not to fool around with a married man, certainly not the President of the United States.

And if you want people to stop talking about something, perhaps going on global media and reminding everybody about it is not your best move...

Couldn't agree more Knight!

 

[AZ Jim]

I am amazed at the ire ML invokes in some. EOM

 

[SifuPhil]

I am amazed at the ire ML invokes in some. EOM

As sure as a Greek tragedy needs to have a Chorus, so do we always need someone to hate. It gives direction to our venom.

If Monica wasn't on the stage, I'd be kicking puppies.