My 90 year old Mom Tested Positive

[Murrmurr]

Mom has pronounced dementia and my siblings and I finally agreed she needed to be placed in a nursing home. She's been living in a really nice place for a little over a year, well taken care of and reasonably happy (she doesn't like the food). Three weeks ago, after a months-long shut down, the home reopened to visitors and yesterday my brother and his wife went to see Mom. They were informed she was in the COVID unit and had been there for 5 days. No one advised any of us that she and nine other patients tested positive last week, and the facility shut down again. Mom's nurse suited my brother up head to toe and allowed him to see her. She's not expected to make it through the week.

Mom is the sweetest, most selfless person I've ever known. When our friends (or anyone) came to our house, she always fed them. There was always plenty of food in the house and the house always smelled of fantastic cooking. She helped me raise my kids, offered great advice with no hint of condescension or criticism. She encouraged everyone to do their best, forgive themselves and others, work hard and be kind. She worshiped her God, and even when money was tight, she gave to charity; food, home-made and hand-me-down clothing and quilts; and encouraged us to do the same.

Mom turned 90 in March last year. The home was closed to visitors that day.

 

[Becky1951]

Murrmurr I'm so sorry, your mom sounds like a wonderful loving person.
This is so sad, and so wrong of them to not contact you immediately..

 

[PamfromTx]

 

[Aunt Marg]

So very sorry to hear of the news related to your mother, Mur.

I would be livid if it were me in your shoes and the nursing home failed to contact me right away upon first knowing that a loved one of mine had been isolated account being diagnosed with Covid.

I am so sick and tired of hearing reports such as this.

No scruples on their part.

 

[Pepper]

You know by now when you need us, we will be here for you.

 

[Pepper]

No scruples on their part.

Could it be incompetence?

 

[Pinky]

Mom has pronounced dementia and my siblings and I finally agreed she needed to be placed in a nursing home. She's been living in a really nice place for a little over a year, well taken care of and reasonably happy (she doesn't like the food). Three weeks ago, after a months-long shut down, the home reopened to visitors and yesterday my brother and his wife went to see Mom. They were informed she was in the COVID unit and had been there for 5 days. No one advised any of us that she and nine other patients tested positive last week, and the facility shut down again. Mom's nurse suited my brother up head to toe and allowed him to see her. She's not expected to make it through the week.

Mom is the sweetest, most selfless person I've ever known. When our friends (or anyone) came to our house, she always fed them. There was always plenty of food in the house and the house always smelled of fantastic cooking. She helped me raise my kids, offered great advice with no hint of condescension or criticism. She encouraged everyone to do their best, forgive themselves and others, work hard and be kind. She worshiped her God, and even when money was tight, she gave to charity; food, home-made and hand-me-down clothing and quilts; and encouraged us to do the same.

Mom turned 90 in March last year. The home was closed to visitors that day.

So sorry to hear this news @Murrmurr .. it will be difficult for you and your family to not have your Mom around. If they have informed your family sooner, perhaps she could have had more visitors. It's wonderful that you have such loving memories of her. I hope she is being kept comfortable.

 

[Aunt Marg]

Could it be incompetence?

Yes, that, too, Peps.

 

[Sassycakes]

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. She will be in my prayers along with the rest of the family.

 

[Murrmurr]

So very sorry to hear of the news related to your mother, Mur.

I would be livid if it were me in your shoes and the nursing home failed to contact me right away upon first knowing that a loved one of mine had been isolated account being diagnosed with Covid.

I am so sick and tired of hearing reports such as this.

No scruples on their part.

I'm angry they reopened, too. Open to visitors for 3 weeks and suddenly patients left and right test pos for covid. Inadequate precautions?
My sister's trying to get in for an End of Life visit today. She has Lupus and liver disease. I don't think she should risk it.

 

[Murrmurr]

You know by now when you need us, we will be here for you.

I do. Thank you, Pepper.

 

[CinnamonSugar]

OMGosh, @Murrmurr, I know nursing home staffs are stretched and struggling but there's no excuse for not letting you know and allowing you to have care options! My prayers for your mother and family. So sorry!

 

[Aunt Marg]

I'm angry they reopened, too. Open to visitors for 3 weeks and suddenly patients left and right test pos for covid. Inadequate precautions?
My sister's trying to get in for an End of Life visit today. She has Lupus and liver disease. I don't think she should risk it.

Very sorry to hear of your sisters poor health, Mur.

I know it's easier to talk from my side, but try and stay strong and don't forget about taking care of yourself during this trying time.

Hugs to you.

 

[Murrmurr]

So sorry to hear this news @Murrmurr .. it will be difficult for you and your family to not have your Mom around. If they have informed your family sooner, perhaps she could have had more visitors. It's wonderful that you have such loving memories of her. I hope she is being kept comfortable.

Bro said she looked peaceful yesterday. About an hour ago he called to say she's not taking food or drink today, getting vitamin and pain-med injections.

 

[Murrmurr]

Very sorry to hear of your sisters poor health, Mur.

I know it's easier to talk from my side, but try and stay strong and don't forget about taking care of yourself during this trying time.

Hugs to you.

What a year, 'ey Marg? I know my mom isn't afraid and looking forward to being with my dad who passed away in 2007. That's a huge comfort.

 

[Aunt Marg]

What a year, 'ey Marg? I know my mom isn't afraid and looking forward to being with my dad who passed away in 2007. That's a huge comfort.

What a year is right, Mur, sigh.

I'm glad your mom is at peace with departing, because in speaking for myself, I always found a sense in comfort in that.

 

[RadishRose]

@Murrmurr , I'm so sorry to hear your mother is so ill. May you be comforted. I was happy to read of what a great mom she is!

 

[twinkles]

sorry to hear such sad news murrmurr-prayers are being sent your way

 

[Phoenix]

Bro said she looked peaceful yesterday. About an hour ago he called to say she's not taking food or drink today, getting vitamin and pain-med injections.

I'm so sorry. This totally sucks. It's hard to prepare for the departure of a loving mom. I'm glad she's at peace with it. Be kind to yourself. You love her. She knows that. That's what matters. If you need to talk, feel free to start a conversation with me. I lost my 91-year-old mom in 2009. My mom looked forward to being with my dad too.

 

[Murrmurr]

@Murrmurr , I'm so sorry to hear your mother is so ill. May you be comforted. I was happy to read of what a great mom she is!

Your typical Jewish-Italian "you gotta eat, button your coat" mama. The best.

 

[Murrmurr]

I'm so sorry. This totally sucks. It's hard to prepare for the departure of a loving mom. I'm glad she's at peace with it. Be kind to yourself. You love her. She knows that. That's what matters. If you need to talk, feel free to start a conversation with me. I lost my 91-year-old mom in 2009. My mom looked forward to being with my dad too.

Max said the most recent letter I sent her was on her bedside table. Her nurse had obviously read it to her, but Max read it to her again. When it came to the part about my foster son being returned to his mother (I have to repeat that in every letter) Mom's face crunched-up, as he put it.

edit: Max, my brother

 

[Pinky]

My sister's trying to get in for an End of Life visit today. She has Lupus and liver disease. I don't think she should risk it.

I very strongly understand why your sister wants to see her mother, one last time. I missed my opportunity to do so, many long years ago. Even though the circumstances were different, if I could do it over again - I would definitely visit. If she is 'suited up', she should be all right with protective clothing.

 

[Murrmurr]

I very strongly understand why your sister wants to see her mother, one last time. I missed my opportunity to do so, many long years ago. Even though the circumstances were different, if I could do it over again - I would definitely visit. If she is 'suited up', she should be all right with protective clothing.

Max was suited up yesterday from head to toe, gloved, masked and also wore a plastic shield over his face.
If every visitor was required to suit up like that while the facility was reopened, maybe covid wouldn't be making the rounds there now.

 

[Kadee]

Sorry to hear your news @Murrmurr so many of our members lives have been touched by this dreadful virus

 

[StarSong]

I'm so very sorry to hear about your mother's dementia and Covid illnesses. My mother suffered from vascular dementia before a stroke left her unconscious until her death thirteen days later. My mom spent the last year of her life in the memory care section of a lovely assisted living facility. The employees were caring and gentle, but even so, it wasn't much of a life for her.

I understand your pain.

I pray that you and your family find peace as you say goodbye to a woman whose ripples of loving influence will never fade from your lives or the lives of those you touch.