My apologies to our mermaid for being overbearing and pedantic yesterday.

Ralphy1

Ralphy1

Well-known Member
I spent a lot of time researching, developing, and presenting adult life programs for a community college in the past. These programs were mostly attended by women who wanted to know why their love story did not last. A social worker told me that she wanted her husband to court her again. Telling her that this probably wasn't going to happen as the conquest was over was not what she wanted to hear. I could cite so many reasons with supporting material why men and women differ in so many aspects of life, but I will try not to "lecture" today...
 

Women and men are different Ralph. No argument from me. I think we're moved and motivated by different emotional needs and that's why male and female compliment each other. It's an evolutionary strength I think.

My cousins (brother and sister) lived next door to each other with their families and they had three boys and then three girls and a boy respectively. I remember her telling me that the two sexes are so different just in the way they acted from little and on. The little boys would get mad at each other, a fight would break out, rolling and wrestling, and ten minutes later, it's all over and they're playing again side by side. The little girls on the other hand would get in a snit about something, call each other names, yell and scream and then be mad for a couple days!

So yes, I think we are equal in rights but different in our 'wiring'.
 
... or is that "wiring" just another invention of the male-dominated world?

Yes, Ralphy, everyone takes for granted that the bloom is off the rose after the marriage ceremony. But that's the problem - they take it for granted. Expectations become reality.

Relationships of any kind require constant work, constant adjustments and not a small measure of give-and-take. Being lazy beasts at heart, most don't make the effort and have this built-in excuse to use.

We can be happy with our evolutionary plateau, or we can try to rise above it.
 

Go Phil!

I remember reading somewhere a quote from John Stuart Mill (?) that went something like this

Everything that is, could be otherwise.
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Change at the level of interactions between different genders is to be desired.
Anyone who doesn't realise this should spend some time watching old movies and TV shows.
Early episodes of the British TV series The Bill are being shown on ABC TV over here and the attitudes towards the women police officers are cringeworthy for the most part. We've come a long way but there are still pockets of resistance and resentment of the changes.
 
Changes in stereotyping is desired, but biology is destiny for the most part...
 
SifuPhil said:
... or is that "wiring" just another invention of the male-dominated world?

Yes, Ralphy, everyone takes for granted that the bloom is off the rose after the marriage ceremony. But that's the problem - they take it for granted. Expectations become reality.

Relationships of any kind require constant work, constant adjustments and not a small measure of give-and-take. Being lazy beasts at heart, most don't make the effort and have this built-in excuse to use.

We can be happy with our evolutionary plateau, or we can try to rise above it.
Click to expand...

I agree with the first question you presented, although I wouldn't necessarily consider 'the male-dominated world' to be the cause of it. Frankly, I don't think there are that many differences between genders at all. Upbringing and lack of communication are more relevant.
But this so-called 'wiring' approach- we can thank (or not) the 'self-help/psychobabble industry' for pushing this idea onto people.
 
I remember an old saying about marriage:

"Every man hopes that his bride will never
change, but she always does."

"Every woman hopes that her husband will
change, but he never does."

This probably means attitude/outlook not
physical looks.

Mike.
 
Debby said:
Women and men are different Ralph. No argument from me. I think we're moved and motivated by different emotional needs and that's why male and female compliment each other. It's an evolutionary strength I think.

My cousins (brother and sister) lived next door to each other with their families and they had three boys and then three girls and a boy respectively. I remember her telling me that the two sexes are so different just in the way they acted from little and on. The little boys would get mad at each other, a fight would break out, rolling and wrestling, and ten minutes later, it's all over and they're playing again side by side. The little girls on the other hand would get in a snit about something, call each other names, yell and scream and then be mad for a couple days!

So yes, I think we are equal in rights but different in our 'wiring'.
Click to expand...

The part you left out is that males are far more likely to injure or kill over a dispute. I would far prefer that someone stay angry at me for a few days until things calm down than shoot me or burn down my house or whatever.
 
I've always had a sneaky suspicion men & women are different, not only physically but mentally & emotionally for both. Didn't take long into our marriage 56 years ago to confirm that. Adapting to the differences was something we both had to do. Then came our 1st. child, a whole new set of differences to adapt to. About every 10 years we needed to adapt to each other. One thing we held in common was our goals, as we achieved success we set new goals. A set goal that never changed was about spending time together to reset why we married. An impromptu picnic, showering together in the afternoon, seeing a chic flick or action movie, a surprise night out.


Now that we are deep into our senior years and living comfortably like we set our goal to do, sharing common interests instead of adapting to change is working. No big secret to a good marriage, all it takes for us is remembering that we matter to each other.
 
Knight said:
I've always had a sneaky suspicion men & women are different, not only physically but mentally & emotionally for both. Didn't take long into our marriage 56 years ago to confirm that. Adapting to the differences was something we both had to do. Then came our 1st. child, a whole new set of differences to adapt to. About every 10 years we needed to adapt to each other. One thing we held in common was our goals, as we achieved success we set new goals. A set goal that never changed was about spending time together to reset why we married. An impromptu picnic, showering together in the afternoon, seeing a chic flick or action movie, a surprise night out.


Now that we are deep into our senior years and living comfortably like we set our goal to do, sharing common interests instead of adapting to change is working. No big secret to a good marriage, all it takes for us is remembering that we matter to each other.
Click to expand...
This is wisdom.
 
Knight said:
....An impromptu picnic, showering together in the afternoon, seeing a chic flick or action movie, a surprise night out....remembering that we matter to each other.
Click to expand...
...impromptu picnic? showering together in the afternoon? seeing a chic flick? a surprise night out? Marry me. Forget that other woman LOL
 

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