My Dad Died Last Night 🙁

[PeppermintPatty]

Patty, I am sorry for your loss. I have also suffered through this loss.

I was very close to my father and when he passed, at 69, I also was devastated. I did not think I would ever get over it. But I did! I still miss him every day and think of him often and the many things he taught me. But somehow, I did get over his loss and found a way to get on with my life.

I think the morning we all face is necessary, feeling the pain and loss is necessary to the process. That in time leads us to acceptance and then you learn to just move on. We all do it in our own way and in our own time, but we all do it naturally.

Thank you Timewise 60!
I know I’ll get through this.
I’ve lost beloved pets and thought I couldn’t leave another day without them and I do….. just with great sadness.

Sorry to hear of your loss. I'm so glad for you both to read that you were able to forgive him before he died.

Thank you AnnieA
I’m very happy that I was able to forgive. The more I forgave, the easier it was to let him go

Our condolences to you and your family! it is hard at any age to lose a parent!

Thank you perplexed

 

[PeppermintPatty]

That's a wonderful post. I'm glad you're honoring your Dad!

Thanks again hearlady,

Patty, your dad always knew he was blessed to have you. I am a dad and I have an adult daughter, so I know how that feels. In good times, hard times and even in bad times, I have always felt blessed to have my daughter...

hi Timewise
I hope he felt blessed to have me in his life.
I made them many gifts including a folding fishing stool I made in grade 7 woodworking class. I took back the pictures I painted. Now they are in my house. My brother is currently living in their house with most of their things.
He singularly inherited every single thing. My name wasn’t even mentioned in their will. It’s like they forgot they had me. THAT hurt more than broken bones.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

I am so sorry to read this Patty! May your father R.I.P. and may happy memories of him bring you and your family comfort.

 

[Timewise 60+]

Patty, you did the right things. I am sorry this did not go as it should have. Seems like that happens far to often. I think when people age they get confused and turn on those that care the most about them. I have seen this before in my family. Sad but true. What's important is that you did what was right and that is a memory you can always have.....

 

[Supernatural]

Thank you Lara

Thank you Pepper

Thank you supernatural . I’m sorry you lost your father so young. That’s too young to lose a dad. I feel my dad with me. It’s a comforting feeling.

And now our daughter lost her father few days short of her 34th birthday. He was with her when he breathe his last.

She said that having spoken of what I'd gone through helped her deal with this sad situation...

I've lost so many while young. From 6 years old to 13, lost 4 family members. Then at 37, lost Mother, 56 when lost our son and 62 losing my husband. The ones I've loved are still with me. They're closer than many believed. Their bodies are gone but their spirits endure... Blessed be!

 

[PeppermintPatty]

The ones I've loved are still with me. They're closer than many believed. Their bodies are gone but their spirits endure... Blessed be!

All the world’s logic can’t convince me that my dad isn’t talking via my heart. In the last 1 1/2 years I’ve had 3 major losses. They all speak to my heart through lucid dreams which truly soothes me. There’s no mistaking it.

Apparently most people on earth believe the soul lives on after the body dies.( 87%). They just don’t like talking about it. It’s so highly personal and meaningful.

 

[Supernatural]

All the world’s logic can’t convince me that my dad isn’t talking via my heart. In the last 1 1/2 years I’ve had 3 major losses. They all speak to my heart through lucid dreams which truly soothes me. There’s no mistaking it.

Apparently most people on earth believe the soul lives on after the body dies.( 87%). They just don’t like talking about it. It’s so highly personal and meaningful.

Yes it is. Lucid dreams are comforting. With my life's experiences, I know how you feel. People who believe will understand, the ones who don't never will until they experience it themselves. It's a very personal journey.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

Patty, you did the right things. I am sorry this did not go as it should have. Seems like that happens far to often. I think when people age they get confused and turn on those that care the most about them. I have seen this before in my family. Sad but true. What's important is that you did what was right and that is a memory you can always have.....

Thanks time wise. You’re right. I did what needed to be done. It’s true that old people tend to lash out at the ones who are caring for them. It’s actually quite common. I had a hard time not personalizing that. It haunted me. I’m working on forgiving myself also. I certainly did a lot of griping while caring for them. That’s not uncommon either.

We are donating to the SPCA.
My parents donated to them often.

 

[Magna-Carta]

We had a station wagon when we were young. Both parents drove it. In fact, they took turns driving it. Here it is. There’s part of the bay my dad swam. He swam at the furthest tips of the bay.
View attachment 326993

I’ve got a couple of photos my dad’s parents too. Here is my paternal grandparents from England with their garden in the background. Apparently they were both avid gardeners. They had gardens at their house and had a community garden in town also.

View attachment 326994

I said I didn’t have any and aunts or uncles but I did. My mom had too brothers who died young. One was a professional football player and in England football is more like soccer. He was killed getting a football kicked in his stomach. My other uncle was killed in the war, and her father was in the war and got captured so spend 5 years as a Prisoner Of War. My mom’s mom had Multiple Sclerosis so died young.

Looking through these pictures I think I see a possible great aunt. This is my grandmother in the rocking chair with the striking silver hair. There’s another woman who looks similar in appearance and age. That may have been my great aunt.

View attachment 326995

My dad did rally racing with his uncle Jim so I had a great uncle as well. My dad always drove fast . Really fast but he was a good driver. My mom didn’t like my dad’s family so we weren’t allowed to talk about them but my brother and dad would fly there every once in a while to visit. He continued his car rally driving with a friend he met from where he worked. His name was Derek. They did a lot together including canoeing. Here they are canoeing together. My dad’s in the front.


View attachment 326997

Both my parents were very active. My dad played tennis a few times a week in the nice weather here but also when they went to Florida which they did for some 30 years.
My mom swam also and did yoga and tai chi. We always had a dog and my mom walked and fed the dog (s) and fed the birds and cats before she left for work. She walked the dogs as soon as she got home from work also. Our pets were always well cared for as were we.

My dad was an avid Gardner. He learned to grow roses from his mother. My grandparents grew most of their fruits and vegetables. My dad had a few gardens and this one at the front / side of our house was where his irises and roses grew. It always smelled nice out on the patio. Plus we had a big sliding glass door where the sun shone through. This picture was taken before were put in the sliding glass door.

View attachment 327001

Just simply, thanks for sharing.

I think it's fascinating how simple stories accompanied by photos become a window into someone else's life. Puts a smile on my face. Hope it puts a smile on your face too. Moments in time frozen forever.

 

[Magna-Carta]

All the world’s logic can’t convince me that my dad isn’t talking via my heart. In the last 1 1/2 years I’ve had 3 major losses. They all speak to my heart through lucid dreams which truly soothes me. There’s no mistaking it.

Apparently most people on earth believe the soul lives on after the body dies.( 87%). They just don’t like talking about it. It’s so highly personal and meaningful.

Thanks for sharing this too. I know those lucid dreams of people who have passed. Dreams so lucid that at times I can feel them in my arms. I'm not religious, far from it, but there is a different and heightened level of 'connection' and 'feel' when I lose someone. Something that neither I nor logic can explain. Yet they don't 'feel' lost, they live on PepermintPatty. We carry some of them with us, somehow. They remain part of us, they seem to become part of the person we are and have become.

Take care.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

Thanks for sharing this too. I know those lucid dreams of people who have passed. Dreams so lucid that at times I can feel them in my arms. I'm not religious, far from it, but there is a different and heightened level of 'connection' and 'feel' when I lose someone. Something that neither I nor logic can explain. Yet they don't 'feel' lost, they live on PepermintPatty. We carry some of them with us, somehow. They remain part of us, they seem to become part of the person we are and have become.

Take care.

I’m not really religious but I am listening to Joyce Meyers a lot lately. I find more peace when I listen. When I listen to Joyce in the morning, my day seems to go better.

When my brother died in 1979, I knew exactly where I was when it happened. I could feel him much closer. His soul contacted my soul and we communicated telepathically.
My pets communicate to me through dreams.
It’s so clear that at times it startles me awake.

A heightened level of connection is a perfect way to explain it. “A heightened level of connection.” Thats it.

It’s not easy to explain but those who it’s happened to , DO ‘seem to’ understand it.

I’m finding that believing in God ( spirit ) helps sooth my tormented mind, tenfold and I’m ever so grateful.

There is going to be no funeral. He outlived most of his friends. Thats a good thing yet sounds so sad. Anyway, he’s in a good place now. I needn’t worry.

 

[Widow of Vietnam Vet]

Peppermint Patty- It is wonderful that you have shared with us so much about your dad!
Yes, God will surely comfort you and your dad IS in a good place.

As Magna Carta said here we have been put into a window into your dad's life, and it is a touching tribute to feel we know him a little ,when his long life gave him A LOT!

I think it was wise not to have a funeral. You did the right thing.

 

[dobielvr]

I like Joyce Meyers too.
I don't send her money, but I'm a good listener.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

I like Joyce Meyers too.
I don't send her money, but I'm a good listener.

I don’t send any of them money
They are rich already
Some stuff just sticks
The other day I heard…

Your life can’t move forward
If your mind is going backwards

 

[911]

I’m very sorry to learn of your dad’s death. No matter the age, losing a parent is really hard to take. Keep the good memories and they will sustain you. Each day will get a little better. I wish you well and stay healthy.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

Thanks for sharing this too. I know those lucid dreams of people who have passed. Dreams so lucid that at times I can feel them in my arms. I'm not religious, far from it, but there is a different and heightened level of 'connection' and 'feel' when I lose someone. Something that neither I nor logic can explain. Yet they don't 'feel' lost, they live on PepermintPatty. We carry some of them with us, somehow. They remain part of us, they seem to become part of the person we are and have become.

Take care.

Lucid dreams are beyond amazing. They are super surreal. Sometimes while lucid dreaming I’ll suddenly wake up and wish I could jump back in. There’s something intrinsically magical about lucid dreaming.

I’m very sorry to learn of your dad’s death. No matter the age, losing a parent is really hard to take. Keep the good memories and they will sustain you. Each day will get a little better. I wish you well and stay healthy.

thank you 911
I’ve got many fond memories of my dad
Each dad that goes gets a bit better

Peppermint Patty- It is wonderful that you have shared with us so much about your dad!
Yes, God will surely comfort you and your dad IS in a good place.

As Magna Carta said here we have been put into a window into your dad's life, and it is a touching tribute to feel we know him a little ,when his long life gave him A LOT!

I think it was wise not to have a funeral. You did the right thing.

Thanks WofVV
Back in 2018 when I first joined this site I hadn’t forgiven my father and was filled with bitterness and toxicity. I was in continuous victim mode and it literally took me 6 plus years to forgive him. A member here offered me her solution for forgiveness and told me it would take years and it truly has. It’s taken years and is so worth it.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

Patty, your dad was obviously a great, loving, wise father. He was also a handsome man. These pictures and memories are things and events to be treasured for sure! Still praying for solace for you and your family.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

Patty, your dad was obviously a great, loving, wise father. He was also a handsome man. These pictures and memories are things and events to be treasured for sure! Still praying for solace for you and your family.

Thank you one eyed diva.
My dad was a handsome man. He looked a bit like Elvis but with an English accent. My mom was really pretty two. They made a handmade couple especially while out dancing. They were both really good at it.
My parents were really good at focussing on what they wanted and getting it.

 

[VaughanJB]

He was 95!

Sorry to hear this, Ms PeppermintPatty.

You can't do anything about age. It's rolling waves on the beach of life, and once you reach the shore..........

 

[PeppermintPatty]

Sorry to hear this, Ms PeppermintPatty.

You can't do anything about age. It's rolling waves on the beach of life, and once you reach the shore..........

Thanks Vaughan.
He had an amazing life doing what he loved. My dad was healthy his entire life except for the last few months. He’s now in a better place or at least I believe he is.
Thank you for reaching out

 

[Repondering]

I'm late here but I'm sorry for your loss too, PeppermintPatty.
Thank you for sharing the family stories.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

I'm late here but I'm sorry for your loss too, PeppermintPatty.
Thank you for sharing the family stories.

Thank you Respondering.
We have a common denominator.
While I did my best to care for my parents for years, I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I didn’t. That ‘woulda’, coulda’, shoulda’, …..but ‘didn’t ‘ kicked in quite a few times.

 

[Repondering]

Thank you Respondering.
We have a common denominator.
While I did my best to care for my parents for years, I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I didn’t. That ‘woulda’, coulda’, shoulda’, …..but ‘didn’t ‘ kicked in quite a few times.

We do have something in common, PeppermintPatty....I was my mother's sole care giver for 17 years. I sometimes wonder how the trajectory of my life would have differed had I insisted that my two brothers share in the responsibility.
But I did my duty without help and she's been gone for five years now.
So like you I said my goodbyes. Nothing for it now but to move on from where we are.
You deserve to be proud of having done your best to care for your parents.

 

[Paladin1950]

95... nice run, mine was only 84... RIP

Mine was only 44. Damn cancer!

 

[Paladin1950]

You were very lucky though. He lived to 95! May he rest in peace.