Not that anyone is asking

Murrmurr said:
Oh....no, I don't have Facebook, but maybe there's an online group or something.
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If you do decide to join, create a new name. I never give them factual info.

Maybe there’s a group on Reddit.
 

Got a text out of the blue from Jackie, Paxton's grandma...

"Paxton misses you. He'll never forget you, Frank. And it's obvious to everyone that the time he had with you was long enough to shape the adult he will become. Paxton is going to be a good man, and I am grateful for that. He will be, too."

I asked her if she thinks I'll ever be allowed (by his mother) to see him again. She said "Be patient. Tara has to get over her jealousy first." Jealous that he loves me, she means.

It was good to hear that first part, but heart-wrenching at the same time.

Jackie also told me that Paxton kicked his family counselor. The counselor asked him what makes him feel angry and what does he do when he's angry, and he said he didn't want to talk about that. Mind you, Tara was sitting right next to him. The counselor repeated the question, and got the same answer. So she pushed him for an answer, and he got up and kicked her in the leg and screamed "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!"

Well now she knows what Paxton does when he gets angry.

Professional, well-trained family counselors do not press a client for answers, doesn't matter if they're 4 or 40. Rephrase it, maybe, but if the client isn't ready, or doesn't feel safe, like in Paxton's case, leave it for another time. Counselors who are stupid, like this one, can actually cause harm. And Paxton's reaction could get him labeled as "troubled" or even "violent". Kids with those labels get totally screwed over by the whole CPS and family court system...the very system that made them angry in the first place.

It should have occurred to this stupid counselor that *maybe* Paxton's mother is the source of his anger (she is). And maybe the way he reacted, with physical violence, is something he learned from his mother (he did), and something he could be subjected to if he answers that question (definitely yes).

screaming man.jpg

I'm going to write another letter to Amador County Director of Social Services/CPS. And maybe the DA's office needs a copy, too.
 

Murrmurr said:
Got a text out of the blue from Jackie, Paxton's grandma...

"Paxton misses you. He'll never forget you, Frank. And it's obvious to everyone that the time he had with you was long enough to shape the adult he will become. Paxton is going to be a good man, and I am grateful for that. He will be, too."

I asked her if she thinks I'll ever be allowed (by his mother) to see him again. She said "Be patient. Tara has to get over her jealousy first." Jealous that he loves me, she means.

It was good to hear that first part, but heart-wrenching at the same time.

Jackie also told me that Paxton kicked his family counselor. The counselor asked him what makes him feel angry and what does he do when he's angry, and he said he didn't want to talk about that. Mind you, Tara was sitting right next to him. The counselor repeated the question, and got the same answer. So she pushed him for an answer, and he got up and kicked her in the leg and screamed "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!"

Well now she knows what Paxton does when he gets angry.

Professional, well-trained family counselors do not press a client for answers, doesn't matter if they're 4 or 40. Rrephrase it, maybe, but if the client isn't ready, or doesn't feel safe, like in Paxton's case, leave it for another time. Counselors who are stupid, like this one, can actually cause harm. And Paxton's reaction could get him labeled as "troubled" or even "violent". Kids with those labels get totally screwed over by the whole CPS and family court system...the very system that made them angry in the first place.

It should have occurred to this stupid counselor that *maybe* Paxton's mother is the source of his anger (she is). And maybe the way he reacted, with physical violence, is something he learned from his mother (he did), and something he could be subjected to if he answers that question (definitely yes).

View attachment 228740

I'm going to write another letter to Amador County Director of Social Services/CPS. And maybe the DA's office needs a copy, too.
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From what I've read of your posts on this subject, seems he's a normal child and his behavior is normal under the circumstances.. I hope 'they' don't throw some psych diagnosis on him and start giving him 'meds'...
 
JaniceM said:
From what I've read of your posts on this subject, seems he's a normal child and his behavior is normal under the circumstances.. I hope 'they' don't throw some psych diagnosis on him and start giving him 'meds'...
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That would be tragic, and it's exactly what I'm afraid of.

Also, if CPS ever takes Pax and his siblings again, he might be sent to a "special" foster home, with other "violent/troubled" kids.

This is one of the ways monsters are manufactured. State-manufactured, tax-payer funded.
 
Murrmurr said:
That would be tragic, and it's exactly what I'm afraid of.

Also, if CPS ever takes Pax and his siblings again, he might be sent to a "special" foster home, with other "violent/troubled" kids.

This is one of the ways monsters are manufactured. State-manufactured, tax-payer funded.
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It downright sucks that so-called 'experts' really don't understand children at all.
 
Murrmurr said:
She tried, and as punishment her daughter (Paxton's mother) threatened to never let her see the kids again. Plus, she told the kids that grandma's a bad person. Jackie withdrew the petition.
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It's hurts so much to read your posts about Paxton ... cannot imagine living with all of that anguish for so long.
Hope your efforts get some attention, and soon!
 
Jackie stopped by here yesterday. She promised Paxton a while back she'd check on me, and she was in the area (we live about 30 miles apart).

Before she left, I gave her this stuffed white rabbit that was Paxton's favorite stuffie. I told her not to say anything (or Tara might froth at the mouth), just put it on his bed and maybe he'll notice it.

I told her the rabbit's name is "Bunny."

She said, OMG! Oh my God, Frank, that's Bunny?! He keeps asking for Bunny! I thought he meant any stuffed rabbit, so I'd give him one, but he kept saying, "No, where's Bunny?" Oh, believe me, Frank, he's going to notice!

And he'll know where Bunny was all this time; safe with Unko Fwank.
 
Tish said:
Oh my word, it is so sad that Tara holds so much resentment towards anyone the child loves.
She seems to be a very insecure person, I just pray that she doesn't take it out on the poor child.
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It blows my mind how vindictive and resentful she is. That is insecurity, I agree. She knows she's fallen miserably short of being a good mother but she blames everyone else for problems between Paxton and her. And the tragic thing is, if Tara is done with drugs, this is fixable. Their relationship is salvageable, all they need is a good therapist. They're getting a dime's worth, and she's making matters worse!

First, she has to admit that she's the ONLY reason her relationship with Paxton is a wreck. She made him angry, depressed, confused, and anxious, and now she's making him unhappy. She needs to tell him these were her mistakes, that she regrets them and she's sorry they made him miserable, and then she needs to make a pact with him that the two of them will work together build a good relationship. Including visiting Uncle Frank and Auntie Meesh now and then.

He's exceptionally bright, he'll totally get it. And anyway, every kid wants a better relationship with their mom. He'd totally be on board.
 
Pepper said:
Beautiful, Unko Fwank, and so are you ♥️
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I've been trying to explain how this whole thing feels...how it feels to me personally. I've compared it to losing a child who died and then keeping their room untouched, but it's not that. It's more like your child was kidnapped except you can't do anything about it because it was legal.

This tiny infant comes into your life and you take care of him; feed him, clothe him, keep him clean, keep him safe, make him feel secure and loved. Then eventually he becomes self-aware, and you start to actually raise him; educate him, exercise him, expose him to people and nature, music and fun, teach him right from wrong, to love, to use judgement, to be confident.

So now you've got this beautiful 3yr-old kid who's happy with life, very happy with himself, and happy to share all that happiness with others, and then suddenly he's taken across 2 counties and plopped into a totally dysfunctional home with dysfunctional people, and it's totally legal.

Within days after being "reunited" with his mother (tho they'd never lived together), Tara held Paxton down and shaved his head. Copious amounts of drugs and alcohol were stored and used in plain sight, and there was loud, foul-mouthed arguing, loud physical fights, loud music, and loud, bloody video games going on practically 24/7. There was no clear bedtime, Paxton usually slept on a couch, rarely brushed his teeth, and had nothing of his own....and he had no idea why.

That was the home he was moved to, and it was legal...."in the best interest of the child" in fact. Eight months later, he was in a foster home full of strangers.

I know I've said it all before. Bears repeating I guess.
 
dobielvr said:
imo..
It's also sad that she holds so much power.
And, I'll leave it right there.
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It's astounding that family courts make these parents practically untouchable once there's "reunification". When they give them custody, they give them the power to decide who can and cannot have contact with the children. If the grandparents are on the list of "cannots", they have to petition the court for "reasonable" visitation, and a minimum of several months will pass before the court schedules a hearing about it. Other family members don't even have the option.
 
Finally got the results of the MRI's, brain and orbital cavity. No lesions, but they did see "white matter hyperintensities" - bright spots on the brain’s white-matter, the connective tissue of the neurons - and in my case these hyperintensities are evidence of old white-matter injury, obviously from the serious fall I took years ago. You also get those spots when the small blood vessels of the brain get clogged or harden, or if your blood pressure is chronically low. So, they're not uncommon or anything, especially in the elderly, and it's nothing to really worry about, but we'll keep an eye on it.

The orbital images were also clear; no growths or infection or anything. So the burning in my eye is just "dry-eye". Well, I say just, but I've been looking into it...dry eye can be very serious. Feels fine as long as I use plenty of artificial tear eye-drops and do the warm compresses.

Bottom line - no lesions or growths. 👍

It ticks me off that I had to call radiology and ask about it, though. Did one of the technicians bring in donuts that day, or what? Turns out *Someone* just didn't get around to reading the images. Even the lady I talked to over there was taken aback by that. She went speechless for a minute. I hope Someone got her arse chewed out about it.
 

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