Polyamory

officerripley said:
Not a new practice; I suppose it might be a different thing (but at least related, in my opinion) but I remember as a kid (a lonnnng time ago, sigh) hearing about "swingers clubs", a spouse-swapping get-together for a weekend or whatever. And apparently it wasn't all unfounded rumors: the last woman my dad was married to told me that her sister & brother-in-law were "swingers."
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As I understand it, swingers are couples that interact with other couples? I have heard of them for a while...seems weird to me but again if there is consent from all involved, isn't that what matters?
 

MarciKS said:
I have a stupid question but I've always been curious....

Do we know of one single solitary couple that's managed to stay faithful to their spouse the entire marriage or is this some ridiculous myth.

Seems to me the "polyamory" is the new normal relationship these days. Maybe that's why people put "it's complicated" on their marital status. LOL
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Oh I think there are many who have been faithful..I was for all 50 years. Polyamory seems to be close to open marriage..which has been around.
This was just the first time I knew someone who was involved...
 
fuzzybuddy said:
polyamory- I had to look it up, it's a new word for a really old practice. Having multiple partners before marriage is not illegal, nor is it unknown. I do believe there may be some health issues, if one is not careful-pregnancy being one of them. And you do have to select your friends well. If your morals are a deterrent to the practice, of course you aren't required to perform. And the practice is not for committed, or married relationships. The reasons are obvious. I don't know, it may be a better way for some to find a more compatible mate?
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I agreed with you before I started reading about it from others' POV. The health issue is true no matter how many partners but of course easier with just one.
I was raised Catholic (non-practicing now) so the morals issue would have been true for me except now I am trying to be non-judgmental and have and am trying to consider right and wrong from all angles.
As for committed relationships, I still cannot get my head wrapped around the idea that married and other committed couples can be polyamorous..but there are those who say differently.
 
My sister and her husband just celebrated their 52nd wedding anniversary and have never been happier. They have had many troubles but not the issues of cheating. Mainly trying to make a living farming all these years. They both have college degrees but he came from a family of farmers and inherited the land. He also had a mentally retarded brother that he had to take care of when his parents died. The other brother and sister moved away and he was expected to see about the land and the brother. My sister fell in love with him in college and knew the challenges he had before him.

I admire them both as they have met their challenges and stayed together for over 50 years.
 
Serenity4321 said:
I agreed with you before I started reading about it from others' POV. The health issue is true no matter how many partners but of course easier with just one.
I was raised Catholic (non-practicing now) so the morals issue would have been true for me except now I am trying to be non-judgmental and have and am trying to consider right and wrong from all angles.
As for committed relationships, I still cannot get my head wrapped around the idea that married and other committed couples can be polyamorous..but there are those who say differently.
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As an ex-Catholic, atheist, now, some can have a moral issue about polyamory, but that's up to them. Others don't feel the same.. If it's legal, morals don't matter. You can't implant your morals on others. Personally, if I were in a committed relationship, and there was any infidelity, they'd find their clothes in the gutter. I believe the open marriages are more like roommates with benefits, than true marriages. Marriage and polyamory are incompatible.
 
What about all the marriages described in the Bible with multiple spouses? Polygamy has been around for a much longer time than monogamy. Who are we to say it is wrong or right? The mores of society are changing all the time.

My husband and I were boringly monogamous, but if people find other ways of life satisfying, and everybody concerned is happy with it, why not?
 
fuzzybuddy said:
As an ex-Catholic, atheist, now, some can have a moral issue about polyamory, but that's up to them. Others don't feel the same.. If it's legal, morals don't matter. You can't implant your morals on others. Personally, if I were in a committed relationship, and there was any infidelity, they'd find their clothes in the gutter. I believe the open marriages are more like roommates with benefits, than true marriages. Marriage and polyamory are incompatible.
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I agree with your statement of marriage for me, and am trying to understand why others feel differently..That's just me..
 
Sunny said:
What about all the marriages described in the Bible with multiple spouses? Polygamy has been around for a much longer time than monogamy. Who are we to say it is wrong or right? The mores of society are changing all the time.

My husband and I were boringly monogamous, but if people find other ways of life satisfying, and everybody concerned is happy with it, why not?
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Well said Sunny and that is how I feel especially asking who am I to say they are immoral...and their choice is right or wrong. What may be wrong for me could be right for someone else

My husband and I too were monogamous and never considered or wanted anything else...as far as I know :LOL: He is gone now, died 8/19/19

I like your attitude (y)
 
I had a buddy in the Navy, He said, "At any time, anything can happen with two people". With all the moralizing, etc., I have to say he proved that statement, over, and over. Much later, I remember having a hospital conference, where another buddy was getting married to a nurse on my right, and was having sex with the nurse on my left. And the psychologist was having an affair with another nurse, and his wife was the nurse on my left. So polyamory, is just a new name for an old practice.
 
Serenity4321 said:
I think it's ok to discuss this?? If not I have no problem having a manager delete the thread.
This came up a few weeks ago ..a friend of mine told me her daughter is involved with the polyamory crowd. I didn't know what that meant and was shocked and surprised once I researched the practice. I do not know anyone who is polyamorous but it seems some kids in their 20, 30, 40s think it is a good idea and seem to cite the divorce rate as one solution to the problems in marriage. Apparently single, engaged, married people are all involved.
I keep seeing the jealousy factor and resultant hurt as the main problems but then if it is by mutual consent are those risks 'worth it' to some?

The concept is really strange to me but as I kept thinking about it, I started to wonder if it is possible there could be benefits??? Personally I would never be involved but maybe that is a result of the norms of my generation. I keep thinking since it is mutual consent, does it have advantages?
Obviously, anyone who is very religious will see it as totally wrong.
LOL I have kiddingly said polygamy sounds good..If I had several husbands, depending on my mood, I could spend time with whichever 'suited my fancy' at the time 😃
Would love to hear opinions, thoughts ideas...

In case you are not familiar with this ...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, "many", and Latin amor, "love") is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved.[
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I just discovered that my oldest daughter and her husband are in an intimate relationship with another couple and have been for a year. They are now buying a big house together and all supposedly share the same bed. I was shocked because it was completely unexpected and I also wondered about the logistics of sharing the same bed. I do not disapprove however as long as that relationship does not adversely affect the kids. I have two beliefs concerning relationships: What two consenting adults do in private is no ones business but their own AND the more people you have in your life who love you the better off you are.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
polyamory- I had to look it up, it's a new word for a really old practice. Having multiple partners before marriage is not illegal, nor is it unknown. I do believe there may be some health issues, if one is not careful-pregnancy being one of them. And you do have to select your friends well. If your morals are a deterrent to the practice, of course you aren't required to perform. And the practice is not for committed, or married relationships. The reasons are obvious. I don't know, it may be a better way for some to find a more compatible mate?
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One must take the same health precautions as one would in any intimate relationship and married couples do engage with spousal consent and even participation.
 

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