Polygamy

[Sunny]

Butterfly:
The destruction of a human spirit, leaves a perpetuity of 'uncertainty'
'hesitancy:'
1. may well lead to a responsive personality of rage
2. acidity personality (attacking first, before you have the opportunity to harm, setting boundaries, partitions of which only you are aware of...
3. Co-dependency- a word still seeking definition.
Those afflicted have no awareness of their affliction.
They are 'difficult,' people, wandering through their life seeking definition.
These are the gentle effects...
The finality of death does not leave one to wander through a life of mine fields.
If you do not follow, good for you.
I am through.
back to op

Jerry, what in tarnation are you talking about???

 

[Butterfly]

Butterfly:
The destruction of a human spirit, leaves a perpetuity of 'uncertainty'
'hesitancy:'
1. may well lead to a responsive personality of rage
2. acidity personality (attacking first, before you have the opportunity to harm, setting boundaries, partitions of which only you are aware of...
3. Co-dependency- a word still seeking definition.
Those afflicted have no awareness of their affliction.
They are 'difficult,' people, wandering through their life seeking definition.
These are the gentle effects...
The finality of death does not leave one to wander through a life of mine fields.
If you do not follow, good for you.
I am through.
back to op

??? I don't understand.

 

[Keesha]

I can barely keep up being married to one man, I cannot image multiple... and my hubby feel the same way
But whomever is living that life and are happy, that is what counts. But I know it's definitely NOT FOR ME.

Ditto.

 

[jerry old]

I cannot address polygamy of ancient times, or the polygamy present in some cultures today.
I speak as a singular individual, with a single opinion, but also a member of this nation. Polygamy is still practiced in this nation in many sectors not sanctioned by any religions group.

Pause a moment and remember the Manson Girls use as what?
Not polygamy, you say-and you would be correct, but they were chattel. Chattel is the side result of grouping.

The drug/alcohol situation in your community, whether your aware of it of not has resulted in groups of people pooling resources to survive. (They is no counter of the sexes five males, two females, hmm)
Are these sexual pools? Nope, our western stereotyping of monogamy colors our thinking. Sexual activity is practiced as a casual behavior The Dominate Person’s Rising to a Position delivering the Can and Cannots.

The primary question is what assets do you bring with you?
The ladies will rally to any that can guarantee their survival in these homes, be they male of female-is that polygamy-yes it is. As will the weaker males (weaker encompassing physical and emotional strength, is that polygamy-no but it’s something.

Any grouping of human beings, be it one husband one spouse will result in the eternal wrestling for position, if prolonged between two members of the opposite sex, an equilibrium is reached:
If more than two-the eternal wrestling will continue with ‘bruising’ occurring.

Bruising is my topic-polygamy is only one of the many step-children involved. I’m trying to make my way to horrific bruising.
Read Double RR's posting, as well as post 47
(C0-Dependency my vehicle
has anybody out ther ever attended an Al Anon?)

 

[win231]

Considering how fast he was moving back then, I wonder how many wives he has now? Muslims can only have four wives and an unlimited number of concubines. LDS can have any number of wives. The founder, Joseph Smith, had either 28 or 49 wives, the total number is disputed.

Thanks for that word - "Concubine." I've heard it but never knew what it meant, so I looked it up. Pretty funny.

 

[Catlady]

Thanks for that word - "Concubine." I've heard it but never knew what it meant, so I looked it up. Pretty funny.

Yes, as you already know , a concubine is another word for mistress, but there are distinctions =
{{ A concubine is a woman who cohabits with a man to whom she is not legally married, especially one regarded as socially or sexually subservient; mistress. (among polygamous peoples) a secondary wife, usually of inferior rank. }}

Solomon was reputed to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines. I believe it's probably an exaggeration, probably in an attempt to make Solomon look prosperous, to be able to afford so many wives. Or maybe he just married the wives of men who died for him in battle and he could support them? Of course, romantic love is a recent invention, most people married to have legal children and heirs.

I found this article very informative:
https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Concubinage

 

[Liberty]

Yes, as you already know , a concubine is another word for mistress, but there are distinctions =
{{ A concubine is a woman who cohabits with a man to whom she is not legally married, especially one regarded as socially or sexually subservient; mistress. (among polygamous peoples) a secondary wife, usually of inferior rank. }}

Solomon was reputed to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines. I believe it's probably an exaggeration, probably in an attempt to make Solomon look prosperous, to be able to afford so many wives. Or maybe he just married the wives of men who died for him in battle and he could support them? Of course, romantic love is a recent invention, most people married to have legal children and heirs.

I found this article very informative:
https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Concubinage

Yeah, and he got taken big time by those dancing girls in the end!

So much for being rich and smart. No fool like an old fool...lol.

 

[Pepper]

Read Double RR's posting

Wouldn't that be RRRR?
Interesting post.

 

[RadishRose]

I don't understand.......

 

[OneEyedDiva]

I don't care when adults, such as you, consent to marry into a polygamous marriage. I do hate when children are told they must marry into it or they will ''go to hell'' if they don't.

I've never heard of men being admired or excused for cheating. People, especially other men, might look the other way though. I've heard of Muslim men criticizing western men of having ''serial marriages'' through divorce, but even with four wives Muslim men still hanker for more women and have unlimited concubines allowed to them. Who is being hypocritical here?

Just curious, you don't have to reply. Were you at all jealous of sharing your husband? I'd rather be single than share my man, even if I loved the other woman like a sister.

Well I've not only heard of men being admired (more for being able to get away with cheating)...I overheard men in the work place discussing covering for one another so they could cheat and being quite delighted with themselves. I feel as you do as far as children being child brides (even when it's a monogamous marriage...read the stats for how prevalent it is in the U.S.) To answer your question...the crazy thing is I was jealous by nature when I married my husband. It didn't help that he was extremely handsome and got hit on a lot, even by his grown daughters' friends. I wasn't jealous of my co-wife because of their history. They had been good friends since they were in their early 20's. (at that time it was for over 20 years). They started a business together and as members of the Nation of Islam, were somewhat pressured into marriage since they traveled together a lot for the business and that kind of fraternization wasn't (still isn't) permitted.

My husband said that there was never any romance between them. She and I had a symbiotic relationship at first, then became genuine friends ("sisters" as it were) and she confirmed that she was never in love with him, though she did love him as one would love any good friend. He was an affectionate man and missed that in his life. She never wanted to travel (other than for business) so he and I took several trips together. She was actually one of the nicest people I'd ever met. Never heard her back bite. She was a hard working, humble, gentle spirit. She died 14 months before he did and I miss her.

I used to get jealous and have tantrums seeing him hug younger woman and be engaged in conversation with them only to feel foolish after finding out that they were relatives. In one instance it was his step daughter whom I'd never met because she lives several states away and rarely visited. Sometimes it was a niece, grand niece or one of his many cousins. All of this was confirmed when seeing and interacting with them at his family reunions or cookouts and finding out which of his siblings were their parents or grandparents. My family is huge, but his is even bigger and he has so many grandchildren, nieces, nephews and cousins that I still don't know them all. After awhile, I realized it was useless to feel jealous of this man. We were together for 27 years before he passed. In a way, I felt this was a life lesson for me.

 

[Catlady]

@OneEyedDiva - THANK YOU for your gracious reply. I apologize for being rude and aggressive in my post to you.

Like you, I am jealous by nature and could never accept sharing my man, so it's hard for me to understand and accept polygamous religions and cultures. The only reason why I divorced my handsome husband (he reminded me of Elvis) is that he was a womanizer and liked sharing himself with other women. Otherwise, he was a good man, a good provider, not abusive (other than the cheating) and I do believe he cared about me, maybe even loved me. He also cheated on his second wife, so it had nothing personal to do with me.

 

[Sunny]

Pepper is right. Double RR would be RR Squared. Which I don't think is a good description of Radish.

 

[Catlady]

Well I've not only heard of men being admired (more for being able to get away with cheating)...I overheard men in the work place discussing covering for one another so they could cheat and being quite delighted with themselves.

I have read that men are loyal to other men, and even if they disapprove of them cheating on their girlfriends and wives, they will not tell on them and try to protect them. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to tell either the cheated-on-woman or, more likely, to their friends (and that starts the rumor mill going).

 

[OneEyedDiva]

@OneEyedDiva - THANK YOU for your gracious reply. I apologize for being rude and aggressive in my post to you.

Like you, I am jealous by nature and could never accept sharing my man, so it's hard for me to understand and accept polygamous religions and cultures. The only reason why I divorced my handsome husband (he reminded me of Elvis) is that he was a womanizer and liked sharing himself with other women. Otherwise, he was a good man, a good provider, not abusive (other than the cheating) and I do believe he cared about me, maybe even loved me. He also cheated on his second wife, so it had nothing personal to do with me.

You're welcome PVC. I did not view your original reply/question as being rude or aggressive at all. Sorry you had the experience you did. But at least you got out of the marriage rather than continuing to suffer through it. That takes strength and courage.

 

[Keesha]

Muslims permitted (not necessarily encouraged) polygamous marriages because in ancient times, many Muslim men were lost to war leaving too many widows with children. A Muslim man is not obligated to support any woman who is not his wife so the men took on more than one wife. The ruling was no more than 4 wives and they couldn't be related (sisters, children of the wife(wives), aunts, etc. The women had to be of sound mind and able to make decisions for themselves, were not to be coerced or forced into marriage. The marriages had to be witnessed and made public...not done in secret.
My second marriage was a polygamous one. After my first traditional marriage (when I was Christian), which lasted only 3 months, I knew that "traditional" marriage was not for me. I used to say I'd never marry again....ever. But my 2nd was one of the nicest people you could meet, the handsomest man I'd ever seen and I finally fell for him. A good mutual friend had tried to get us together for years but I said I wasn't interested because I knew he had a wife. We wound up getting together in our own time on our own terms due to some unforeseen circumstances (one with a paranormal element). I held off for three years before finally marrying him. I knew the stigma attached and didn't know anyone else (at the time) in that situation. I met some people in Virginia who were in polygamous marriages and found out later that the Sheik who married us was too. My husband, my co-wife and I were in the same age range when I married him...47-48. We were married for 25 years.

Polygamy has been demonized by the reporting of men who have so many wives, many of which are minors. Also, if those families are a drain on the state funds (getting public assistance), that is certainly a catalyst. I had read a book, by a non-Muslim author entitled Man Sharing. Not only Mormons and Muslims practiced it, historically Jewish people practiced it as well. And as previously mentioned, it was no biggie back in Biblical times. Men had hundreds of concubines. This country is somewhat hypocritical too. Men who have mistresses are often excused and even admired. Affairs are so common in this country. But when someone legitimizes the relationship via marriage to a second (or 3rd) woman, he's seen as evil and possibly faces jail time. Add to that.... alleged religious freedom gets taken off the table.

I find this most fascinating. A polygamous marriage that last 25 years. You relationship sounds like one of mutual love & respect plus you seem much more mature than the average person.

Losing both must be quite the loss.
Thanks for sharing this with us. It’s quite courageous of you.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

I find this most fascinating. A polygamous marriage that last 25 years. You relationship sounds like one of mutual love & respect plus you seem much more mature than the average person.

Losing both must be quite the loss.
Thanks for sharing this with us. It’s quite courageous of you.

Thank you for your kind response to my post Keesha. Always trying to better myself in all aspects. Life is a teaching experience, if we just open ourselves up to learning.