Not everybody, my great-grandfather participated in a lynching in Georgia, over 100 years ago. He apparently felt quite guilty and ended up committing suicide over it. Much longer story behind it, but he never told his family what he had done and must have lived in shame afterwards. Still he did it, and there was no risk of arrest or prosecution. I am sure some people acted the way you describe, but not all.
Nothing uncommon about that, growing up the word was very often used by many of my friends and their parents. I was lucky my parents, particularly my mother did not allow us to use it. Didn't stop me from saying it when I was with friends and not home but thankfully I never acquired the habit. Not proud of that, but it was the way things were. In parts of the deep south you still here white people using it today, but much less often. Usually from folks we call white trash.